Beyond the end

Chapter 5. Back to the West Bev.

London
Brenda had appeared nervous for most of the entire trip to the restaurant; JT had obviously noticed and honestly, having been present listening to the voicemail message, he didn't even need to wonder why; however the evening had to go on in some way.
They sat at the table. The restaurant was modern and presented itself as the new reference center of contaminated cuisine Japan Italy... a mixture of summer vegetables, coconut milk pepper creams, eggplant caviar, olive powder, capers and basil.
At the entrance the waiters immediately noticed the fearsome JT, the critic of the critics, and warned the owner. They were made to sit at the table booked in the name of Mr Smith. Jt loved to book under different and anonymous names.
JT ordered for both, as always:
"Then rice creamed with smoked black tea and raw of scampi and lemon."
The waiter seemed nervous... JT launched a look at Brenda who as expected was distracted and absent..." and for the lady.. green tea rice with slice of breaded fish at the panko"
"Well," said the waiter noting everything.
"Like wine... a Ferrari Perlè"
The waiter ran streets and JT closed the menu looking Brenda in the eye.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not much I would say"
"I don't think we have a choice"
Jt had met Dylan in the two years he had lived in London with Brenda. They had spent several evenings together, talking about music and cooking. He was a philanthropist, a free spirit. And he thought he had never seen Brenda so happy except in the presence of him. Maybe a hint of that happiness had been reviewed when her brother had arrived in town ... but it was a happiness of a different kind. More familiar.
Then suddenly Dylan had disappeared. He had returned to L.A., he had recovered with he doesn't know who, he had had a child. And the word Dylan had never been spoken by Brenda again. An argument out.
"Hear, we've been friends for years. I think sooner or later you should talk about it. Pull out what you hear, spread it on the table. Maybe it can show you things less big than they are."
"What do you want me to tell you? You know him, you know what kind of ghost Dylan is in my life. Too many times I have let it enter my existence and take away my breath and balance. It's no longer the story of getting together with my best friend when we were 18. It's a whole project of life built and destroyed. He goes, he comes. But I... am not as weak as he is. Not anymore. I love him and I assume I will always love him. Some people position themselves in the soul. They are placed right in the center. And there's no way to drive them away."
Brenda stopped a second "Dylan had serious problems with alcoholism and heroin. Life plans tings them."
"That's why he left last time?"
"Yes. I found the stuff in the drawer. We had a fight. I knocked him out of the house. He went back to Los Angeles, he hid for the umpteenth time from me. He told around that he hadn't seen me in two years, but you and I know that until the day before he slept with me. He pretended he didn't even know me."
"Is that what hurt you the most?"
"Yes. That's it. Because while he was there, he phoned me at night. Then it disappears. Then he comes back. At some point a person has to choose. Sometimes love is not enough. I chose me for both. Especially after I learned that Kelly was expecting a child from him. His place was there."
"And now he's back..." JT sighs.
"Already," Brenda sighed.
"And you regret that you deleted the message with the phone number"
"Already" JT and Brenda burst out laughing, "sometimes I love being so impulsive. It takes away my choice."
She tried not to think about it, but the idea that he was in town occupied her mind. A strange mixture of excitement and anger. He was out there. Somewhere. Like something you don't say.
Los Angeles.
Brandon parked his car in West Beverly. Almost nothing had changed. A mass of teenagers moved laughing in the hallways. For a moment he came back next to his locker which now belonged to who knows who. Laughter with Dylan. The Blaze. Steve and him for lunch. Silver's radio.
It was strange how everything seemed to him infinitely smaller and lighter now. One with his dreams, of that caliber, also has big responsibilities invisible to others.
Those pressures that only he could feel and that often made him go through what he was not. Instead he felt imperfect, but filled those gaps with commitment. It was said that if he took that extra step, that extra effort, it would always be worth it.
He asked where Mrs Taylor's office was and a couple of girls pointed her to her giggling in his wake.
Outside the door he could hear the voice of Kelly talking on the phone. He knocked and sighed almost at the same time. Sometimes, you go having even if you have no courage.
"Next"
He came in with the best smile he owned "Mrs Taylor?"
"Come on Josh sit down. You're late"Kelly hadn't even looked up.
Josh. Who knows what this Josh had done. And he was still late.
She looked up, slightly sloping her hair and saw him
"O my God," a visible and innocent joy exploded on his face. He snapped up and went to hug him tightly.
"You're here," she said. As if he were a soldier who returned from a war and not a ghost of her past. This made him feel better. They hadn't left each other very well last time. They had become a thorny argument for each other so much so that they let the years flow under their fingers without calling. Without saying goodbye. Yet there had never been a single day without thinking of her. He just wanted her to be at peace. That she was fine. That she had found his way.
They stayed like this for a few seconds.
"Donna had told me you were here and I couldn't understand why I wasn't the first person to see you."
Brandon made a grimace of disapproval for his pride always out of bounds. True, it would have been a nice scene if she had been the first person but the truth was that from the moment he had heard about the job in Los Angeles, he had almost refused the idea of returning to what had once been her home. Kelly had been his home.
The events then decided differently.
She looked at him with sincere joy. It was as if something extremely familiar had returned to wrapping her and lifting her from the hell of the soul in which she was. He could get it. He grasped the meaning.
He had always seemed so unassailable to her although she had seen him lose her balance.
They sat at the desk.
"I don't want to steal you too long, I just wanted to say hi."
"I felt I had to wait for a long time."
Brandon barely smiled. That was the idea, but as usual, when it came to her, he immediately gave in, even to himself.
"Sammy?"
She lit up "Well. Good. I wish you knew him. We're gone.." she stopped and opened her eyes to him.
"Already.." he replied, "we're gone." At that point she should have asked her about Dylan, but he was afraid of hurting her even though he didn't know the answer.
"Where are you staying?"
"Oh the newspaper pays me for a luxurious room at the Hilton. I need to fix some things at the Los Angeles location"
"How much are you staying?" The question came out of its own and Kelly couldn't get it back in time.
"Three months," he replied.
"Three months," she repeated, "God, I'm so happy to see you" and she couldn't hold back this sentence either.
"Do you want a tour?" SHe proposes to him.
"A school tour?"
She selled "why not, so let's chat a little bit and in the meantime I look out about these monsters".
SHe took him under his arm. They slipped away through the corridors and quiet classrooms. They talked laughing several times. They had a coffee in the teachers' room.
A terrible broth. They looked together at the photos of the school's celebrities.
"Oh God. I'm there. Brandon Walsh. Editor-in-Chief New York Chronicle"
"So good huh?"
"I'm not really famous"
"You're one who made it Brandon. One who believed in something and built it. It's more than so many can say," he squeezed his arm even more and he smiled.