Beyond the end

Jack Daniels

The conference room of the Palace was full of people. Professors who had received the copy of the Kelly's book in advance and were ready to question the author about the quality of her research. There was a technical audience. Steve had taken steps to make it a fabulous advertisement.
Kelly was excited. She was wearing a pastel indigo dress, brighter shoes. She was wonderful.
As soon as he saw her accompanied by Dylan, Steve was glad Brandon was not there. He wouldn't have come. He knew.
Steve paid much more attention to Kelly's body. And for the first time he realized that she had a belly that was growing. How he had been so stupid that he didn't notice. It was obvious. Andrea was always right.
They greeted each other. Steve shook Dylan's hand.
That sense of injustice towards Brandon was always there but he had no other choice, not in front of all that people. None of the friends had accepted the invitation to the presentation. Everyone had declined.
Kelly was radiant, after months of silence and despair she had a joy in her heart. You could see she was excited.
The guests sat in the room. Steve made a brief presentation and soon left the stage to Kelly. There were several questions that Kelly answered accurately and competently.
She looked at each subject sitting in the room, to feel the attention, to see their expressions.
Suddenly her dialogue got jamming as she looked down at the hall. A very slight stop that did not escape Dylan, who turned in the same direction.
As Kelly tried to resume the thread of speech Dylan's eyes crossed Brandon's blue ones.
A dark blue. Less bright. More bad. He looked at him for a moment. He had a dark dress, a tie. One step away from the door.
Dylan would have liked to get up and go to him but preferred to sit and postpone until later. He couldn't predict what could happen. You never know how a person can react.
Kelly had took the blow, Brandon had re-emerged from unsure where, and now she was going on with less determination and less accurate answers.
Steve also noticed Brandon's presence. There at the bottom . At the bottom of his life. At the bottom of everything.
He shook Kelly's hand under the congress table.
He didn't know if she was happy or scared about him but she had to go on. She felt the squeeze of her. Steve was a support.
Kelly felt the urgency to go to Brandon. To interrupt everything. She was afraid he would leave. She was afraid to see him come out the door and forever. Perhaps he had noticed his pregnancy. Dylan. Of course he had noticed. Brandon knew her more than anyone else. Suddenly everything collapsed again.
"Are there any other questions?" Steve asked.
Brandon raised his hand and Kelly and Steve looked at him hesitantly. Dylan turned to look at him again. He clenched his fists. He would have liked to hold him back to himself, tell him he missed him, how much he loves Brenda. Not to drag Kelly back into the abyss because Dylan saw something strange In Brandon's gaze.
"Yes, please," Steve gave him the floor.
"Mrs. Taylor," Brandon cleared her voice, "can occasional pain become a chronic pain you never get rid of?"
Kelly had a slight hyper ventilation. It seemed to her that her heart was coming out of her chest.
she approached the microphone.
she opened his lips.
"Yes," she replied, "it's exactly like that. It can happen."
Brandon had gotten his answer, moved away from the wall he had leaned on and took two steps to leave.
"However," Kelly continued, "love can heal the pain. Any kind of love."
Brandon stopped for a second. Then he went out and Kelly closed her eyes almost at the same time.
At the end of the presentation conference there were handshakes and compliments for Kelly.
She struggled to smile backed by Dylan and Steve but Kelly couldn't help but think about the long afternoons she spent with Brandon building her work. He had saved her. Again. And she hadn't even said thank you.
She couldn't. He wouldn't have listened. She touched her belly . She sighed deeply and waited for the end of that day.
Later. Steve's apartment.
"Brandon came today," Steve told Andrea as soon as he opened the door for her, "and that's the only good news" he concluded.
"Oh," Andrea replied surprised, "did he see Kelly?"
"Yes," Steve sighed, "I really think so and he saw Dylan too."
"Poor Brandon."
"Yeah."
"Sorry I didn't ask you" she shook her head "how was the presentation?"
"Good" Steve was thrilled "only today 275 orders."
"Wow. Kelly will be happy" Andrea quickly realized that perhaps Kelly's concept of happiness had now definitively changed.
There was a moment of strange silence.
"Maybe we should go to Brandon," Steve said.
"And how we don't know where he is."
"I know," Steve replied.
"Do you know?"
"I know"
"And how long has it been?"
"It's always been."
"And why didn't you tell me?"
"He didn't want to."
"Sure, I understand," said Andrea evidently annoyed that Steve knew something about Brandon that she didn't know.
Andrea took back the bag.
"Let's go then."
Casa Walsh
"And why did you go there?" Brenda's voice on the phone was surprised.
"Honestly? I have no idea," Brandon replied.
Brenda laughed, but it was a sad smile.
"And why did you go to Ecuador?"
"I owe him."
"Seriously?"
"For never being back from London years ago. I owed him a return," Brenda replied, "I paid my bill."
"You didn't have any bills to settle," Brandon pointed out.
"So you don't either," Brenda concluded.
Brandon relaxed on the couch with the cordless in his hand. He looked at Jack Daniels' bottle on the coffee table and the crystal scotch glass placed next to it. He should have told Brenda about Kelly's pregnancy, which was just a suspect. That Dylan had put his hand in front of Kelly's lap when inadvertently a distracted guy was going to bump into her.
But he couldn't say anything. He kept it to himself. He put off a moment that with the passage of time would become a real chasm.
"I was thinking about leaving Los Angeles," Brandon said.
"And for where?"
"I've made some contact. I could work for CBS for the East Coast and move to New York."
"B, you just bought a house. Our house," Brenda replied.
"yeah a good fucking idea," Brandon said, opening Jack Daniels' bottle and pouring some of it, "I could resell it to Dylan and Kelly," he laughed. A convinced laugh at the comedy of what he had just said.
An irony that Brenda caught and laughed at both of them.
"Ahh Bran, I don't know. Going away is fine, but not to run away. And anyway, I would like you to stay a little longer."
"Why?"
"I agreed with Fox, we'll do the show and so I'm coming to L.A." Brenda said.
"Seriously?"
The idea of his sister with him made him happy. It attenuated the amplified loneliness of those days.
It would have been a breath of fresh air.
"What about Dylan?"
"I may have missed to tell you this. But Dylan has no rights to the show. He gave up exactly as you did with Kelly's book."
"Why?"
"Because I asked him and he signed."
"So without protesting?"
"Yes."
"And what about Kelly's permission how will you do it?"
Brenda laughed "with everything that happened I don't think Kelly will sue me, do you think? And anyway Kelly signed."
"Did she sign? When?"
"I don't know, she sent the authorization with an email to Raynolds right after Dylan came back to Los Angeles."
"You can see that he's more convincing than me," Brandon smiled bitterly, drinking the second glass of scotch, "Bren, I have to tell you something."
"Here we go," Brenda replied.
"I think Kelly is pregnant. Let's say I'm sure."
On the other side there was a deafening silence.
"Don't get me wrong. I know how much this makes you suffer for everything that happened but sooner or later you would have known and I don't want to hide anything from you."
On the other side of the phone Brenda had a sore face but without any contortion. Tears coming down on their own.
"I appreciate it thank you."
"Dylan was with her today."
"Yes, I imagined that."
"Seriously?"
"I asked him."
"Why?"
"Because I will never go back to him again and I wanted him to take care of his son as I could no longer take care of ours."
Brandon completed the pouring of the third glass of scotch.
Somehow he understood.
"You instead," Brenda asked, "will you hold up?"
"For the moment I'm at the third glass of scotch and I hold on well," he laughed.
"Don't you have any other solutions than drinking?"
"For now it's my plan," Brandon replied.
"Bran?"
'Yes?'
"Have you ever thought that the baby who carries Kelly Could be yours ?"
This idea passed through him from side to side.
"She would have told me. She would come to me to tell me. Who would do such a thing? In short, I am here, not in Washington. It's true we don't talk anymore but through Steve or Andrea she could get to me."
Brenda thought about it and agreed, however, she tried to open her brother's eyes.
"Brandon, you are my brother and I love you. But this is unfair. She came to your apartment you don't know how many times and you know it, she came to your office and was prevented from going up, you moved and she she doesn't know where you are, you changed your phone number,and then you told her you didn't love her anymore."
Brandon nodded without saying anything and poured his fourth glass.
"Anyway it doesn't matter anymore. In the end in different ways we made the same choice and honestly I'm sick of all this pain, and thinking and everything else. Maybe I'll go out and meet a woman for tonight."
"Bran"
"I'm serious. I'll go to a bar and find someone. I'm about healthy wild sex without thoughts."
'Stop it.'
Brandon sighed.
"We'll be fine. Sooner or later you will meet someone who will kidnap your heart and these days will only remain a memory... and an empty bottle of Jack," Brenda replied tenderly.
"I don't know how you do it. And without alcohol ."
"I wrote us a script about this thing," Brandon laughed and she laughed too.
Then they rang at the door. Bran saw Andrea and Steve through the window.
"Steve brought Andrea here, they will have come to babysy me," Brandon said, taking off the curtains.
"Goodbye wild sex for one night," Brandon said, "Andrea will want to psychoanalyze me as a drunk."
Brenda laughed "I think so, but I'm glad you're not alone. Call me whenever you want."
"Yes," Brandon replied and they hung up just in time to open the door.
"Hei what's up?" Brandon said opening the door.
"Are you drunk already Bran?" Steve asked.
"Enough, so I'm willing to tell the truth," Bran smiled loudly, "come in."
Andrea looked at him with an air of reproach mixed with tenderness and then saw the scotch on the table.
"I was on the phone with Brenda."
"How is she doing?" Steve asked.
"And who knows. Brenda doesn't make anything clear" Brandon finished drinking what he had in his glass and turned to Andrea alone "don't worry is occasional."
"I never imagined that you had bought this house back," Andrea said tenderly.
"I had bought it for me and Kelly, would you ever believe it?" He revealed Brandon by raising his glass and getting lost in a hysterical laugh from a breeze.
"I have to tell you something Brandon," Andrea whispered.
"Kelly is pregnant and her son is Dylan's," Brandon added with a cheerful air from alcohol "I know."
"I'm sorry Bran"
"And why ever. It's life."
"Bran.." Steve said with an surrendered air.
Brandon laid down the glass and suddenly did what he had never done in all these days or years. He broke down. Brandon was someone who never cried. He never brought out his emotions. Yet he cried. He cried in a tumultuous and uncontrolled way. He leaned on Steve supporting him and Andrea added herself.
That powerful cry freed him.
"Enough" he said, wiping his eyes, "now that's enough."
And he wasn't referring to tears. He had gone further.