Beyond the end

Phone calls

It had been a whole month since Dylan gave last news about himself. Since he had gone to Minneapolis.
Brenda had no news of him. And she didn't want to have them. He probably also showed up in London and hadn't found anyone because Brenda had decided not to be found.
She was living in Yorkshire with JT. She had started writing again. To clearly throw down a monologue that belonged to her and that she would have liked to stage. The leg was totally healed, as was all the physical injuries she had carried on her. Those of the soul, on the other hand, still wandered from one point to another. But silence protected her. And Brandon's silence that he had managed to hide himself in L.A.
Brandon told he was fine, that he had gone out with someone, nothing important, at least he was trying and he had worked a lot. Maybe it was true that he was fine or just it was true that he felt better. Like her after all. After a while the anger evaporates and remains the most difficult step. The acceptance. About what it is not. About what it will never be.
JT brought her his cell phone that rang nervously.
Number of Ecuador.
Maybe Dylan had gone there and tried to get Isabel to call her on JT's cell phone. She wasn't sure she wanted to answer.
"Hallo?"
Xavier's voice escaped from the other side of the world.
"Hei"
"How are you? The guys? Isabel? Did something happen?"
"Something happened."
Brenda was scared. She was crossed by a lightning bolt that cut her in two. Did something happen to Dylan?
"Brenda," Xavier called her, "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I need you to come here."
"Why?"
"Dylan is sick. He has plummeted into his black hole of despair and not seeing you here makes me think it has to do with you."
Brenda sighed "Xavier the two of us are no longer together I don't know what Dylan told you."
"I know," he said, "I don't know everything but I know something happened. He started drinking again,Brenda, and I'm not sure I can help him."
"Xavier.." whispered Brenda.
"I know I'm probably asking you for too much sacrifice but I don't know what else to do. I don't know who else to call."
"I understand," she said.
"How long has it been there?"
"Two weeks. Returning from London," he added.
"He doesn't even call his son, he disappears at night. He is totally wasted
"Why do you think I can help him?"
"Because I think you're the reason," Xavier replied, "at least think about it, also because I don't know how long I can keep him here. Sometimes Brenda I think he'll leave and we'll never see him again"
When JT came back to the her he found a thoughtful and visibly worried Brenda. She told him everything"
"And what do you want to do?"
"I honestly don't know. I don't even have the anger to support myself. But does it make sense to go there if I have no intention of staying later?"
"No it doesn't have any," JT replied, "but it doesn't even make sense not to help him. You love him. And you Know it. You are better than him and you Know it."
"Yes, but then it would break my heart," Brenda whispered, "as if it wasn't already split."
"You can take it," JT replied, "you can and you Know it"
Brandon came back home and threw the mail on the table at the entrance. The house was immersed in a peaceful silence. As always. Casa Walsh. He had been living there for a few weeks and yet nothing seemed to belong to him more in the world. In that last month they had all lost a bit of sight and of the beautiful summer no one had any trace anymore. Clare left and hadn't even called her because she knew Kelly would be there. He had greeted her in a bar. Like a clandestine. Like a soldier who couldn't come back.
He went to take off his jacket and tie, took a quick shower, put on a t-shirt. He opened the half-empty refrigerator that reminded him of Washington's time. The loneliness of those who are good after all.
Steve called him right at that moment and that made Brandon smile.
"Hei"
"Hei"
"You're Disappeared."
"I've been busy," Brandon replied as he filled a sandwich with some peanut butter.
On the other hand, Steve also understood in the answer that sub-track that Brandon had no desire to pronounce.
"Listen, do you want hang out with me and chat a little."
"I want to hang out with you for sure," Brandon replied, "we chat depends on what."
"Pizza? Thai?"
"Whatever you want," Brandon replied cheerfully happy to have something to eat and someone to bring it to him"
"I'll be there in an hour."
Brandon smiled. He hadn't really realized how isolated he had been until then. The very holy work had saved him. Sometimes Kelly's thought grabbed him and he found himself weak. He wondered how Sammy was doing. If Dylan took care of them. If he had returned. He asked himself a billion questions that in the end he didn't want to answer. He didn't ask for it.
When he went by Nat they talked about something else, he never asked who he had seen and when, he didn't ask for any news. They talked about work, how things were going, the future, the past or just nothing. And Nat knew it. He feared that requests made to Brandon would suddenly drive him away so he let his friend visit him whenever he wanted. The important thing was to have him there. He knew about Casa Walsh but Nat didn't need to look for Brandon because Brandon needed to look for Nat and knew where to find him.
Steve arrived shortly after, with the Thai dinner and a big smile.
"So how are you?" His friend asked him.
"Well," Brandon grimaced.
They sat on the stools of the kitchen island. Always very practical.
"I always watch CBS because I know you're behind it."
"You've always been too proud of me even when I didn't deserve it," Brandon replied.
"Apart from the last period you've always deserved it."
"Don't start."
Steve swallowed what he had in his mouth and moved his hands quickly to deny that he wanted to start "no, I mean, we haven't seen each other in a month, you live perched here, your friends no longer exist".
"My friends, that is, you, are also their friends and I don't want to embarrass you. I need time."
"I understand that," Steve replied, "so do you see anyone?"
Brandon raised his interlocutor eyebrow "seriously?"
"You're making the monk's life literally then" and laughed.
"Yeah" Brandon also laughed "however I don't have time, energy to spend, desire. I spent everything I had in the last year," he hissed.
"Brenda?"
"Brenda is fine. The body is healed. She got back to work. And you?"
"What about me?" Steve answered him.
"What about you?" Brandon asked him again.
"Ehh" Steve began to procrastinate "you know how it is.."
"No how is it?"
"Clare left," Steve replied, "she went back to London, ti her job, to her boyfriend. Janet has resumed normal relations with me, she is with the accountant again. I see and keep Maddy with me whenever I want and thanks to "your" apartment I can really keep her. And every now and then I see Andrea."
"Yeah," Brandon replied.
Steve shook his head "don't look at me like that."
'What way?'
"That look"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Brandon laughed.
"Andrea and I have fun, we spend time together without being together, without commitment. We just like it."
"Okay, don't get upset," Brandon replied jokingly. Steve smiled half and went back to his dinner.
"Listen, in three weeks there's the presentation of Kelly's book at the Palace 'I'd like you to come' Steve reported to him scrutinizing Brandon's reaction.
He looked down at Pai Thai's.
"I don't know, I don't think so," Brandon replied, "how is she?"
"I don't really Know. I saw her little and she spoke little, probably for the same reasons as you" Steve replied.
"What about Sammy?"
"Bran, why don't you call her and ask her? Why this silence. Okay, you're not together anymore, but that doesn't mean we can't hang out."
"It's better that way," Brandon said
"Better for whom?"
"That's exactly why I isolated myself. Because I didn't want to talk about it."
Kelly had been clear "it's not your problem" and yet he usually felt the full responsibility. He had made promises to that child and Kelly as well. He had made commitments. And now he didn't know anything.
Steve gave up his weapons and surrendered almost immediately.
"Okay. However, this is the invitation. At least come and see. After all, this dream has also come true thanks to you. Look, I know you finished the manuscript."
"She did almost everything. The credit is hers "Brandon replied" I just gave a Help.
Steve looked around and took a look at the Walshs' kitchen.
"It's amazing to be here again," he said to break the conversation, "you renewed everything. The kitchen, the furniture."
"Yeah" he laughed satisfied Brandon looking around ". But you know what Steve?"
"What?"
"This is home."
Steve put a hand on his arm and did it in a comforting way. He knew things were messy inside Brandon's soul.
"Listen, there's the Lackers game tonight, are we watching it together here? At least do you have the beers?"
"I have them," Brandon replied, happy that he no longer had to deal with the Kelly subject and that he had his friend to spend the evening. They quickly sat down on the couch.
They slipped on the sofa like two little boys and the invitation remained on the table.

To be continued