Beyond the end

Past and future

Brenda chose to make only one deviation: Kelly's house. SHe chose to go back to the past and to something to conclude.
It sounded as a bad thunderstorm raged outside.
Kelly opened it to her quickly and surprised. SHe squeezed her hard. Never before had Brenda felt so close and so unarmed and disarming in those weeks. She had shared her profile as they waited on the darkest days. Waiting and alone. They were waiting for salvation. The condemnation. They were waiting for forgiveness that they didn't know if it would come.
"I came to say goodbye to you," she told her, "I didn't even go to Brandon's."
"Ah, your brother... "Kelly struggled with herself" he disappeared.
"He's busy, you know, and he's definitely avoiding you."
That truth made Kelly laugh "I know".
Brenda smiled at her. He finally entered the house shaking off the relentless rain.
She had chosen a cold day to leave L.A. in line with her mood.
"It's Christmas soon," Kelly said.
"Yes, you've always liked Christmas."
"It's true," Kelly smiled.
They talked about the new plans, Kel told that it was difficult for her to leave Sammy in kindergarten. She was almost obsessed with him. SHe didn't lose sight of him for a moment. He lived his daily life. He had learned to write. His name. The word mom. An ordinary that didn't save Kelly. That anguish was still there. SHe felt the liquidity that he could not reabsorb, she had no hold, she could go back up at any time, come up and grab it.
"I feel like I'm your brother when I was shot. He had lost control. He didn't allow anyone to get closer. He didn't realize that he had become the cause for concern" Kel touched the cup of tea he smoked in his hands "he always tried to protect me."
Brenda remained silent. She wasn't sure if she was talking to her but she let Kelly go her own way. She felt it was a need for her.
"The fact is, you never know happiness when you live it," Kelly said, "you always notice it later. When it's over."
"How true it is," Brenda replied, " but there would be a solution."
"Which?"
"Living really in full. Be grateful, Kelly, for the time being. The moment. Go get what belongs to us."
"What if it doesn't belong to us?" She asked.
"What if it does, it worked?"
They touched their noses at the same time, a game they always played when they answered one question with another question. An old little girl's trick. They laughed.
Brenda felt freed she didn't even find a little grudge in her chest for Kelly. It was all over. SHe had closed the circle.
"That's all, that's in the middle of the sense," Brenda concluded, "it will still be worth trying."
Then she looked at the watch "it's time for me to go."
They hugged "take care of Sammy," Brenda whispered in her ear.
Kel nodded yes with her head.
Brenda opened the umbrella and started on the driveway. Another taxi, the last of the day was waiting for her to take her away.
The sound of the rain was loud and Kelly saw her run away.
"Kel," Brenda shouted, "happiness can only make you better and it doesn't matter if it ends but thinks, always think about it, what if it works?".
She raised her hand in a greeting and so she did.
The taxi stops dropped the outlet and the car left forever. Brenda didn't turn around. She didn't see Kelly in the middle of the driveway and in the pouring rain watching her go away.