Beyond the end

Happy 1st Bday Grace

Brandon came home with a terrible delay. He parked the car and heard the laughings of the guests. He was mortified by what happened. He had promised to come back on 15 which was become 19 o'clock.
Kelly had only answered the phone once after which she was too furious to talk to him.
Brandon scolded himself for this, for not being able to set limits at his work, but the news Willie had given him worried him. That afternoon he had paid attention to every movement, to every word that had been spoken in the Office. To every detail.
Some colleagues had confirmed and it is known that the first to leave are the latest arrivals including him.
The fact was that the board was looking at names, one by one, firing and restricting by promoting someone. At least that's how he believed.
He wanted to show that he had the pulse of the situation, the competence for a quantum leap that would guarantee him and his family a prestigious position. After all, that's why he had sacrificed himself for years.
And it wasn't something he wanted to give up. Not now. Not after all these years and nights awake, and cameras on. He wanted to get to a point. Cover the base. Close to his family. Because even that wasn't a point that could be given up.
Behind him came Andrea and Hannah who saw him staring at Walsh house with the briefcase in his hand and the tie untied.
"Please don't tell me you're coming back from work now," Andrea asked him.
"Yeah," Brandon sighed.
"I can't believe it," Hannah said, enjoying the smell of trouble.
"Brandon, the guests are coming and you're still there," she rolled her finger on Brandon's chest "under these conditions."
"I know," he said, "but I had some important things to di at work"
"Mom, please let's go in I want to see the stare that Kelly will turn to him," Hannah suggested.
Andrea turned to Brandon alone, "please pretend you haven't heard."
"It doesn't matter," he said, "you know she's right."
Andrea smiled at him and stroked him on the back "courage let's get in".
Were all the guests Brenda and Dylan, Erin, David and Donna, Steve and Janet, his parents holding Grace in their arms.
Brandon didn't see Kelly while he was approaching her daughter and picked her up from Cindy's hands.
The little girl was wearing a dress made by Donna. With white veils and a small circle holding on his hair that was still late to come.
"Happy birthday honey"
Brandon had a real weakness for his daughter Grace. A real fall in love. Unconditioned.
He left the little girl in Cindy's arms.
"You're late," Brenda told him.
"I know"
"You don't really have a sense of measure," his sister scolded him again.
Brandon gave him a sideways look.
"Kelly?"
"I think she is upstairs."
Brandon sighed and walked away.
Dylan approached Brenda kissing her on the neck "is he in trouble?"
"I would say yes," she replied.
"And am I in trouble?"
Brenda laughed "not yet"
Brandon found Kelly sitting on their bedroom bed. Her back turned to him.
"I'm sorry"
"Yes I know," she said in a faint voice, "you are always sorry."
"Come on Kel, you're right to be mad at me. I really can't blame you but you have to believe me I did my best to get home on time."
"Save the breath, really," Kelly turned to him.
Kelly's anger was evident and somehow frightened Brandon because it was unusual, out of ordinary edges.
"Kel..."
"That's not what I want for me Brandon"
"What do you mean?"
"You who always go back at different times and I who take care of our children" the voice was trembling "this is not what I want. Sorry, but I can't do it like that" then suddenly revealed the true nature of his frustration "They offered me a job at California University."
"What? When?" Brandon asked.
"I got a phone call a week ago, directly from the dean , they want to offer me a job."
"And why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I have a daughter who turns one year old today, a son of almost eight years old, a partner who is never there and I gave up. In fact, let's forget it, let's say I gave up. They would like me to give lectures this summer and a trial period. It's about touring California. To give courses. I can't afford it"
"You had to talk to me "Brandon widened his arms and Kelly let herself be squeezed "We are a family, Kel, you don't have to give up" he stroked her hair gently.
"Let's do one thing, now we have people as guests, and I thank you for all the magnificent work you've done and that you've done for me too, when the party will be over we'll talk. I promise you. We'll find a solution together."
Kelly looked at him with lost eyes and he kissed her on the forehead and said "sorry if I was late."
Kelly, Brenda and Donna had set up a magnificent table in the middle of the garden. Maddy and Sammy chased each other, everywhere while little Grace almost always stood in her father's arms. David instead hurried behind Ethan who chased the older ones.
Brenda looked at Grace and often thought of her lost son. They would have been the same age. Perhaps on any day or sooner or after he/she would have celebrated his/her birthday too. She couldn't help but she think about it. It was something that obsessed her and the fact that she couldn't talk to anyone about it slowly consumed her.
"Are you all right?" Dylan asked her, looking at her.
"Yes," Brenda smiled weakly.
Dylan knew her and sensed that she was lying knowing she was lying. He had seen the pregnancy test wrapped in toilet paper when he came home that afternoon as he had seen everyone else. Month after month. He knew Brenda was suffering. The trip to Thailand was perhaps also for that, to try to spur Brenda on to speak and face the talk with him. He would do anything to see her happy. After what happened he felt guilty for being the origin of Brenda's evil. He felt this way despite the fact that she had tried several times to reassure him. She had told him she loved him. She had kept him tight on the nights they stayed awake.
"You don't want to leave, do you?" He told him at one point.
Brenda turned around and looked at him with eyes that betrayed suffering.
"No, not now," she sighed.
"I thought I'd make you happy"
Brenda gave him a caress "you make me happy it's just that I don't feel like leaving now, it's not the time".
"Is it for the negative pregnancy test?"
"You saw it huh?"
"You wouldn't have thrown it there if you didn't want me to see it"
Brenda smiled at the irony. Dylan was right.
"This time I was sure"
"Bren, maybe the trip would be good for us, we could relax, we would think about anything, maybe even your mind relaxes and your body too" he kissed her quickly on the lips "because otherwise it becomes an obsession"
Brenda would have liked to answer that it was already an obsession.
"Okay," she said, smiling, "let's go"
"Maybe we can talk to Andrea, see if she recommends any doctors, do some tests," Brenda suggested.
Dylan looked at her with a strange look "it's just that we've already talked to doctors. I don't want to go back to hell of those months and see you cry every day, that's not what I want for me, for us."
Brenda was disappointed by Dylan's answer but tried not to show it to him.
"Let's go to Thailand," she said shaking his hand, "we'll think about it when we get back. Maybe you're right it'll be good to be together for a while."
The party spread out in the garden.
They had gathered projects and thoughts at the table, laughing several times, as always, as when happiness spread.
Brenda approached Kelly "I see you a little too serene considering my brother's delay"
Kelly smiled "I talked to him"
Brenda was surprised "you did? The Job at CU?"
Kelly "yes"
Brenda "ah I'm happy about that. And what did he say?"
Kelly "he said I shouldn't give up and that we'll find a solution"
"a solution for what?" Said Donna offering a beer to the girls
Brenda 'they offered to Kelly a job at California University'
Donna was excited about it "seriously? And why didn't you tell me anything?"
Kelly looked down and then at Brandon who was laughing along with the others.
"I really didn't want to tell anyone. I just wanted to give up"
"For what reason?"
"Brandon works always a lot. I should have lectures and courses for the summer and I didn't want to leave the kids"
Donna thought about it and then asked for the inevitable " and now what has changed?"
Brenda laughed and tapped the bottles with the girls "it's changed that now Brandon knows"
"Uh" said Donna "ok"
"I'm going to Thailand with Dylan tomorrow"
"Seriously? WOW" replied Donna
"Yeah, wow," Brenda exclaimed, "it's his gift for our anniversary."
"I have the impression that you're not happy about it," Donna said.
"No.. No" Brenda quickly justified herself "I'm happy to go, I mean who wouldn't be"
"Are you sure?" Kelly asked her, raising her eyebrow.
"Sure," Brenda said, taking a sip of beer and staring at Dylan.