Beyond the end

In the name of the son

"What is a little brother or little sister?" Sammy asked looking at mom's belly.
"I don't know, I didn't ask," Kelly replied.
"Why? I want to know!"
Kelly looked sadly at Dylan who was making tea.
"Well you can't see it well yet," Kelly cut short, "as soon as we know, you'll be the first person to know."
Sammy looked doubtful but surrendered almost immediately.
"Then," Dylan interrupted him, "did you do your homework?"
"Yes," said Sammy proudly, "school is easy."
"For now," Dylan replied, looking at Kelly who kept a sad look, "so let's go to bed."
Dylan helped Sammy doing all the boring chores to do before going to sleep.
Kelly was waiting on the couch. She didn't feel good. The nausea and chronic fatigue had begun.
"Then I'm going home " Dylan announced to her when he came back, "how are you?"
"I feel like throwing up looking at anything," she replied with half a smile.
Dylan also smiled as soon as he handed her tea.
"Yeah but I meant how are you after today."
Kel didn't answer, shrugged and watched the smoke rise from the cup.
"Kel, you have to tell Brandon."
"Why?" Kelly replied "to hear me say he doesn't believe me, even assuming he wants to talk to me. I wouldn't hold on. I can't, really"
Dylan sat next to her.
"Kel, you can't do this to him. He needs to know."
Kelly began to cry. A silent, dignified cry, the tears came down slowly.
"I know."
"You have to tell him that this child is his," concluded Dylan, "if he doesn't want to be part of your life, it's okay you'll deal with it, but he has a right to know"
"He won't believe me. He thinks we've slept together all this time. What kind of person do he think I am. Maybe it's me who doesn't want it him in my life."
"Isn't true, You wouldn't want anything but him in your life. Did you see him at the conference?"
"Yes," Kelly sighed, "it was painful."
"For him too. I could read it all over his face."
"Yes."
"Kel" sigh Dylan "when I was in Ecuador I started drinking again" Dylan told "I lost Brenda, I lost my son. I was so angry. I went in Minneapolis looking for her, talked to Jim and Cindy, then went to London. Her apartment was empty. I didn't know where else to look for her. So I went back to Ecuador. And I locked myself in a room. To Drink."
Kelly watched Dylan's low gaze as he continued to tell.
"Xavier managed to track down Brenda via JT and Brenda came to me" told Dylan sadly.
"Really?"
He nodded yes with his head "really. She stayed with me for weeks. She helped me not to drink. She told me clearly that she would not be back. That it was better that way. That she couldn't be with me thinking about what had happened or what could have happened and especially our lost son. And she ripped a promise from me."
"Which one?'
"That I would take care of my son like she couldn't take care of ours."
Kel remained silent and teary.
"So I came back, to honor the promise. But not only that. When I realized that Brenda would never come back, I was angry and I convinced you that Brandon wouldn't listen to you. Because I knew you were as desperate as I was and you needed a safe place. But the truth is that you have someone who loves you Kel, someone who can make you happy. And he's here, and He loves you Otherwise why would he come today?and what I'm doing to you and what we're doing to him is horrible. I don't have a chance anymore, you know Brenda, but you still have a chance. And if Brandon doesn't want it then the problem will become his. But Kel.." he took both her hands "you have to tell him that he is the father of this child. You have to tell him that you love him. He needs to know."
Kel hadn't spoken a word all the time. The tears were still coming down dignified, painful.
"I don't even know where he is," she replied, "he won't want to listen to me."
"It doesn't matter," Dylan smiled,"but that's something you have to do. Go to Nat. He will be able to help you," he concluded.
Kel was terrified of having to tell Brandon about this son. Because she had already made time pass and because she was sure that he had noticed that day and thought it was Dylan's.
The fact was that Dylan was right, he had the right to know and if he didn't want to be part of her life, then it was okay anyway but she had to try.
Kel finally managed to give a name to that sadness that enveloped her since the beginning of that pregnancy. The day he had discovered it, was the day Brandon had come to get his things, to move away from her, the same day he had told her he was no longer sure of what he felt. And Kel had given up on that sentence. She had tried to move forward on her own.
" I'm not even entitled to Brenda's show anymore."Dylan said overthinking
"Why?" Kelly asked surprised.
"Because I gave up. Brenda doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. And maybe she's right. I caused her so much pain."
"You also gave her so much happiness."
"How do you know?" Asked Dylan.
"She told me," Kelly replied, "what I don't understand is why they are so convinced that something has happened between us."
"Kel, come on, you saw how they found us."
"But nothing happened. We said goodbye and fell asleep."
"I don't know," Dylan shook his head, "but we don't have a good background and we probably pay for that."
"Yeah.."
"Maybe you have to go to Nat. He will help you. I'll stay with Sammy."
"Yeah, I have to do this thing myself," Kelly sighed getting up.
When Kelly arrived at the Peach she was happy to see the lights still on and Nat's silhouette moving inside.
Kelly shook the door and the bell above the entrance rang announcing her entrance.
"I'm coming Bran," Nat said from the back.
Kel stopped at the entrance, so Nat was waiting for Brandon.
"Kelly!" He was surprised to see her standing.
"Hi Nat"
"Come in baby," he said softly.
"Are you waiting for someone? Brandon?"asked Kelly.
Nat sighed. He saw Kelly's lost expression.
"I'm waiting for anyone who wants to talk to me. Come. Sit down. Would you like something?"
"No Thanks" shook his head Kelly "is Brandon coming here?"
Nat smiled.
"Brandon comes here every night after closing time. He's coming to visit an old friend."
Kel couldn't hold back her tears.
"Hei" got dark Nat "what's going on?"
"Nat you have to help me."
"Of course."
Nat sat next to her and listened to her carefully.
Kelly was a river in flood. She told about the night nothing had happened, about Brandon, the baby, and how she needs to tell him that he was the father.
Nat kept a calm and serene expression. He stroked her hair.
"Bran is about to come here. He spends here every night. If you want, we'll wait for him together or if you prefer, I'll talk to him about it. He will listen to me. I'm sorry little Kelly for what you're going through. I'm sorry for all of you, and especially for Brenda.
"Brenda's thought breaks my heart, the thought of that child while mine is here" she said tearly.
He handed her a napkin in the absence of a dignified handkerchief.
"Nat what if he doesn't want to listen to me?"
He smiled.
"He'll listen to you," he said, "I think he can't wait to listen to you but it happens sweety , people sometimes don't know how to go back. I think this happened to Brandon. He doesn't know how to come back. He lost his way. So tell me, do you want something?"
Kel smiled in tears "a slice of apple pie?"
"Perfect" Nat smiled.
"Let's just hope I will not vomit," Kel laughed in tears.
Nat served her a slice of cake "do you want the cream?"
"No thanks"
"When will he or she will be born?
"On May."
"And tell me, is it a boy or a girl?"
Kel lowered her head "I didn't want to know."
"Why?"
"Because Brandon wasn't there with me," Kel said.
"This is very sweet," Nat smiled, "ah my guys, from here I've seen you enter thousands of times with your problems, with your loves. You made my life happy. Full. I was lucky."
Kel smiled.
'Can I suggest names?'
'Of course.'
"Then I vote for Nathan if he's a boy. And for Grace if female."
"Grace?"
"My mother called herself like that and that's what I should have called myself if I had been a female" Nat raised her eyebrows playfully which made Kelly laugh, then suddenly her expression changed and Nat put a hand to his chest. His face became a mask.
Kel immediately noticed "Nat? Nat?"
He collapsed to the ground and Kel went around the counter.
The Peach bell rang at that moment and Brandon's voice made his entrance.
"Nat?" He called.
"Brandon!!" Kelly's terrified voice attracted him urgently.
"Kel what are you doing here," he said, seeing her head behind the counter bent over Nat.
"Something is wrong," she said as she unbuttoned his friend's shirt.
"Call 911 Kel," Brandon asked her, jumped over the counter replacing Kel, and began practicing heart massage.
"Oh God Nat," Brandon whispered as he pressed on his chest.
Four days later.
Nat Busicchio's funeral was held that afternoon at 2 p.m.
Nat's death was a heartbreaking pain for everyone. The boys tried to stay close to Joan and Frankie but they didn't have enough strength for them either.
For days Brandon had been hiding behind a pair of black glasses, he didn't talk, he ate little, he was looking for his support in Brenda. He knew that when all the friends left it would get worse. Without words. Without joy. He would have liked to think about the Peach Pit but the partner was Dylan and he didn't want to have anything to do with him.
Jim and Cindy also came, Valerie come back, Noah come back, Jessie too, all returned from their lives to participate in Nat's greeting. All those who had grown under his protective wings and his reassuring smile. Behind his megaburger and the smell of Milk shake.
This is why the funeral was not celebrated immediately but only a few days later, to allow the guys, his children, to come back on time. It was a specific request from Joan.
Nat's big heart had not held up. He loved all too much.
He loved his kids. His guys. Those lives that had helped his and that he had seen every single day.
At the ceremony Brandon did not find the strength to speak sitting next to his sister and parents. The gaze was absent. There were people around him but he didn't seem to see them.
Dylan and Kelly were a few bench back.
Dylan could only look at Brenda. Her head leaning against her brother's shoulder. He had seen her enter the church but had always been one step behind. He had been kept at a distance.
In Ecuador they had been clear. They had made precise arrangements. And no matter how much Dylan had cried, he had kicked, he had realized for himself that he was doing nothing but hurt her and love her
Brenda knew Dylan was there. She always knew when Dylan was there. But she avoided his gaze. The pain was excessive and she couldn't stand that for him either.
It was Jim and Willy who gave the speech for Nat.
A man with the sun inside. A father. A friend. Everyone's smile.
Kelly offered the reception at her house.
The Walshs weren't sure they wanted to go but Cindy was adamant. They owed it to Nat and Joan. She scolded them all, like when they were still her little children .
Sammy stayed out in the garden with Maddy and Hannah. Andrea kept an eye on them. She traded a few short words with Jessie. Friendly but distant relationship.
However, that great and sudden pain had united them all. Mostly funny anecdotes about Nat began to be told and after all it was right. That's how he will want it.
Brandon and Brenda couldn't avoid Dylan and Kelly. They greeted them briefly. Without shaking hands. And they walked away almost immediately. This was really something Nat wouldn't want.
Brenda couldn't help but look at Kelly's belly.
That infinite pain added to the pain of the loss of the friend.
Dylan and Brandon were distant but both Silent and dark in the face.
They had asked Brandon to deliver the speech in church, but the chasm that had been created in Brandon had not allowed him to say a single word and being in that house had done the rest.
The only Brandon's smile was given to Sammy who hadn't seen in months.
"Are you back from your job in Washington?" The child asked him.
It didn't take long to understand that that was Kelly's invented excuse to justify his absence "Yes" he replied with a line of voice under the watchful eyes of Jim and Cindy.
"Thank goodness," Sammy replied, "now you will come more often. Mom is sad without you."
Brandon didn't answer. He hadn't even asked Kel why he was at the Peach with Nat that night. His memories were a tangled of numbers to try to reactivate that so great heart of Nat. NearBy Kelly. Of the blue lights of the ambulance. Of Andrea who came out of the resuscitation for the news.
Hannah who was usually in a bad mood understood the moment and tried to make herself useful by entertaining the little ones.
"Is that your father?" Sammy asked her looking at Jessie.
"Yes he is," Hannah replied tiredly.
"My mom is here too," Maddy said, "and she didn't bring her boyfriend."
"Don't you like him?" Hannah asked.
"Not much."
"I don't like my father's new wife either," Hannah replied.
"I liked Brandon and Brenda" Sammy said "they were fun but I managed to get my parents back together," Sammy hissed innocently.
"What do you mean?" Hannah asked.
"I said they were kissing. And Brandon and Brenda got mad and angry and left. Dad left too but then he's back and now he's with us and I'll have a baby brother or sister too."
Maddy and Hannah immediately looked at each other
"Wasn't it true that they were kissing?"
"No," replied Sammy who kept kneading the earth in the garden "they said Goodbye that night. I heard them. I was so sad. It Was Brandon and Brenda fault. You told me that if two kissed it was because they wanted to be together. Dad doesn't leave anymore now" told Sammy While he was playing
Hannah bit her lips. Her Tongue combined with naivety and Sammy's desire to have family had made a big mess.
She looked around and saw her mother busy pouring some pineapple juice.
"Wait here," she said to the little ones. She got up and walked up to her mother telling her what Sammy had just revealed to her.
Andrea looked at the child from afar and had tenderness for him and for his clumsy attempt to get back a semblance of family that he could have maybe in other ways anyway.
He went back to Sammy with Kelly and Dylan and they asked him the question again and getting the same answer.
Sammy looked at them peacefully "now you can be together," he said with disarming tranquility.
Kelly and Dylan took a step back.
"But it wasn't true. That night it was you who asked to sleep with both of us."
"I like to sleep with Both of you," Sammy said before distracting himself.
Kelly looked at Andrea "when he said we were kissing and we didn't want to be disturbed?" Kelly asked Andrea.
"When we entered the house. He said it straight in the face of the Walshs."
"And none of you thought of telling us?"
Andrea seemed annoyed.
"Excuse me, I don't know if you realized the situation there was."
"That's why they were so adamant," Dylan whispered looking at Kelly, "this is why they have so much doubt."
"We just fell asleep, that's all," Kelly said to Andrea, "and This baby.." she said touching her belly.
Andrea didn't need him to finish the sentence.
Dylan looked for Brenda and Brandon but couldn't see them.
They had barely greeted each other all day. They had stayed behind their borders for the love of Nat.
They approached Donna busy rocking Ethan.
"Did you see Brenda?" Dylan asked her.
"They left," Donna revealed.
Casa Walsh.
Brandon had gone to get in bed. He was the most devastated of all as Brenda locked her suitcase.
"You should stay a few more days," Cindy told her.
"I don't want to stay here, no more than necessary," the daughter told her.
"I have a flight in an hour."
"In two days you haven't even slept."
"I'm going to sleep on the plane."
"Brenda..."
"Mom.. it's too much..." Brenda couldn't finish the sentence.
"We're going to take you at the airport" said Cindy sadly, who understood " .. at least eat something."
"I have the flight in an hour" again Brenda taking off her dress.
"Don't you want to talk about it?" Jim asked.
"Really no," Brenda said and then looked around.
"This house.." Brenda smiled and turned to her parents.
"Yeah," said Cindy hugging her, "it's wonderful that Brandon bought it."
"I don't think he'll keep it."
"Why?" Cindy asked.
"Mom," Brenda told her, giving her a kiss, "you should talk to Brandon."
At that moment they saw Dylan's Porsche entering the driveway and Kelly and Dylan and Andrea coming down, following Steve, Donna and David.
"But what?" Jim asked, pulling curtains away.
Brandon was called and brought down.
"What happened?" He asked when he saw everyone in the living room "what are they doing here?" Pointing to Kelly and Dylan alone.
Kelly took all the courage she had.
"That day Sammy told you Both we were kissing," she began, " and now I understand why you've been so adamant. We couldn't know and should have known that the news of Brenda Dylan's marriage had destabilized him up to this point. But it's not the truth Brandon" she also turned to Brenda "it was the desire of a child who destroyed us. He was among us all night. We said goodbye because we had found our happiness, and we fell asleep, we would never do such a thing to you Both. Never."
"It's the truth," Andrea said looking at Brandon "Sammy has heard so many stories about kissing and not disturbing from Hannah and Maddy. He was suggested by the fact that you would have replaced his parents. Nothing happened Bran..don't let this destroy you more than you've already done."
Brenda was looking at Dylan and he was looking at her. The two of them didn't need words. She had a flight in an hour, it was a choice between free life and having to get hooked to him forever and This time will be forever for real.
Dylan looked at her desperately as if there was no one in that room, as if time had stopped and then dizzyingly went back.
Their eyes clicked, their souls as well.
Everything that seemed true yesterday was burned quickly. The last key had opened the door just before the abyss and what was beyond that door healed the wounds. It was Brenda and Dylan, and always will be.
Kelly continued to speak by looking Brandon straight in the eye.
"We grew up in this house Bran. You bought it for us, for me and for you, and I didn't know anything about it," Kelly said with a broken voice and with all the courage she had, she breathed a long sigh "the evening Nat .." didn't finish the sentence " That night at the Peach Pit I had gone to Nat to ask for her help. I needed to talk to you."
"Why?" Brandon asked in a faint voice.
Kelly closed her eyes and said in one breath what she would have liked to say in months. That had broken her soul. The secret of which had caused her atrocious pain because Brandon missing.
"This child is yours. You are the father."
Cindy put her hands to her mouth in shock. Jim supported her from the back.
"That evening I went to Nat to ask for his help. I didn't know what else to do. If you don't want to believe me or you don't want to be part of my life, I understand it, but this child is yours and you have the right to be a father. Nat promised to bring you back to me.
Brandon looked at Kelly and then Dylan and then Brenda.
His sister smiled to him. There was a light in her. A confortable light. A blessing.
Nat's last gift. Bring him back his life.
Brandon opened his arms and squeezed her to himself. He kissed her deeply like there was nothing left around. Nothing to say.
She was back to him once again, so did Dylan to Brenda. They came back.
Brenda looked at Dylan and Dylan Brenda. The plane to London could leave without her for the time being. Tomorrow there would have been another one. Now she wanted to allow the necessary time. She wanted to go back to the surface too. He didn't blame her for believing everything, he was ready to reopen his arms that had never closed in front of her. She had let Kelly talk but for that baby and for the father in front of her. Because he had made a promise to Brenda. Because all that time he had been so desperate and breathless that being able to stay a meter away from her took his word. She looked at him and he looked at her. As had always happened in difficult times. It was an invisible hand that tied them that blessed them.
It was strange how everything happened in that house. In front of the Walsh. The day Nat had been greeted forever.
With everyone present. Everyone, even him.
Because Nat was there. He was the common thread that brought them back together. She had promised to Kelly.