It hurts

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Angelina POV

"Mom!" George came and woke me up from my deep sleep.

"Yes honey, is everything okay?" I said without opening my eyes.

"Yes Mom!, its 8am , Reb didn't wake up still, may be she is really tired" he said indirectly scolding me that I am responsible for her condition.

"Ok, are you not going too?" I said still covering my head with blanket .

"No!, I have my math test today, moreover my friends won't bully me, so I am not afraid to go to school " he said removing the blanket from my face.

"Okay dear, give me ten minutes I shall prepare your breakfast" I was about to get up but was surprised when George just patted my hand.

"Yes honey?"

George looked at me for few seconds and said in a shaky voice "Mom!, you really felt bad by Reb's words yesterday right?"

Looking at my little one understanding my feelings the motherhood in me jumped out of joy, tears brimmed my eyes while I hugged him tightly.

"I am saying sorry on behalf of Reb mom, please don't be angry with her" he said pushing me gently aback.

Running out of words , I looked at him affectionately and patted his head.

"Mom!, why do you play with my hair like that?" he looked at me irritated and adjusted his hair.

"Why should you say sorry on behalf of Reb, doesn't she have a mouth?" I said getting up from the bed and fixing the blanket.

"Well, may be she is still angry with you that's why, not that she doesn't have a mouth, but you know she cried whole night and so..she couldn't get up,so I thought " I couldn't stop laughing when he was actually trying to save his sister, he feels that its neither mine nor or his sister's mistake and we both should feel sorry for each other.

"Enough!, no need to give so much of explanation, she is my daughter first and then your sister, I can handle her don't worry"

I didn't have much time so I rushed into bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth. I made a sandwich for  his lunch box along with pancakes for his breakfast.

"Thanks mom" George packed his box in his bag neatly.

"Mom!" he said again.

"Yes honey"

"Are you staying home today?"

"Umm, yeah because Reb is upset, maybe I will take this as a chance and be at home with her"

"Okay!, I need to talk to you about her !, but its not urgent, I shall talk in the evening" he kissed me goodbye and ran towards the bus stop.

I stood in the balcony to check on him and couldn't stop wondering that how big and matured George has become, he was only 4 when his father passed away, he and Reb managed themselves on their own while I used to cry day and night, I couldn't bear the trauma of Jacks death, went into depression, few months I drank heavily and tried to commit suicide twice, but my both children were strong enough, they supported me by not troubling me much.Especially George he was so little that he could never understand why didn't his dad never turned up in the evening to play games with him, why wasn't his dad sleeping anymore with him in his bed, yet he never complained, he never bothered me at all.

Now when I see him consoling me and at the same time standing up for his sister , trying to manage the situation between us like a big boy, I feel so happy. I am glad he is unlike his sister.

I felt all alone again, its waste of time to go and explain things to Reb, she is all grown up girl now, she should understand what's wrong and what's right.Even if someone from your friends group says something bad about your mom or dad, you should have enough maturity not to hurt them by letting them know what others think about them.

I wonder when will she grow up!

I went into the kitchen and made myself a strong coffee, I wanted to relax a bit , so went back to balcony to enjoy my morning coffee. I stayed there staring into the sky like a fool, completely shutting down my brain.

After few minutes, I realised Rebecca didn't wakeup yet, as a mom, its my responsibility to take care of my children, I need to push back my ego, go to her and make sure she eats her breakfast isn't It?.

Reluctantly I went with a sandwich into her room but she was fast asleep. I sat beside her and slowly tried to wake her up.

"Rebecca, please can you get up?" Listening to my words she woke up instantly but glared at me angrily.

"Can you please leave me alone ?" she said her big eyes all puffy and voice was coarse.

"Sure, I made some nice sandwiches today, get up brush your teeth and have this" I said trying to remain calm.

To my surprise she obeyed my words and went into bathroom.she came out after few minutes and took the sandwich.

"Mommy"

"Yes darling "

"Do you still remember that I have only three weeks left for my trip to NewYork?"

I felt like a bomb fell on my head!, two weeks?

"Oh!" I let out a humourless laugh, "well honey, I am trying to save money you know.."

Rebecca finished her sandwich and threw a weird look at me "I don't know what you do momma, but I have to go on this trip, the ten thousand is only for accommodation and tickets, I need some extra money to buy dresses and other stuff"

"Extra money?" I said looking at her innocently .

"Yeah!, come on please don't act as if you do not know okay?" Rebecca started her usual rude behaviour once more, but I decided to control my anger.

"Ya I know, but you should know that it's difficult for your mom to arrange so many things, like the way I am earning money, I may not be able to save so much that I can..." I lost my words and swallowed my sorrow.

I am sorry my baby!, I don't know how would I get so much money in 2 weeks time, how? and who would help?

"Mom?, I know aunt Lisa wouldn't help much and you fought with Peter uncle too..so how do you expect you would arrange money Mom?"

Wait? What? How does she know I fought with Peter?,

I raised my eyebrows and looked at her angrily but she continued her nonsense

"No answer !, I knew it, practically speaking you don't have any answer, because you never have any idea how parents in other families are working hard to earn more money, to save and send children to good schools, buy good clothes and take them to holidays, all you do is go to the stupid old coffee shop, and since Peter uncle helps you, you are able to earn a little money which never even meets our needs"

My throat felt so dry that I couldn't even utter one single word, I couldn't literally believe my ears .

How can she hurt me so casually? and why does she do that?, what does she gain by this?.why should I answer her in the first place?.

But I thought its better not to argue with her and went into my room. I silently opened my phone looked at Jack's picture.

Honey!, why didn't you take me along with you?, why?. I repeated these words until I got tired, tears did their job for few minutes and once my energy completely got drained I drifted into sleep left without any choice.

MY FORTY YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND                            Opowieści tętniące życiem. Odkryj je teraz