34.5 | Chagrin

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THERE ARE TIMES when dreams turn into nightmares and these nightmares turn into reality.

It shapes into the form of the disgusting stench of blood. It’s the uncomfortable yet persistent sensation on the skin. No one likes the way it tries to tattoo itself through your soul. A gruesome reminder.

If blood is the physical tattoo on the body, words, however, are much much worse. 

It’s the trigger, Mitsuko likes to describe. The hand on a sword. The commander of a soldier.

And the terrifying thing is: she’s less than a soldier, because soldiers are grown men and she’s nothing but a child.

Disappointment wraps her head and blanks her mind to replace it with fear. She has come to associate disappointment with death.

“NOOOO!!!”

She flinches from her reverie as blood splatters on her face - another tattoo to remember - the girl’s shrieks abruptly stops and the silence that follows after is hauntingly terrifying.

Count your breaths, little girl. 

This is where it starts. Mitsuko shakily grabs her sword.

If you can’t please him, then you’re a disappointment.

If she wants to survive, then she has to -

And if you’re a disappointment, then you will die.

* * *

“Rengoku-san… is dead?”

Mitsuko's face is blank once the news reaches her ears. In the tranquility of the Tomioka Residence, the first thing that Mitsuko has asked is the outcome of the battle that night.

Giyuu sits across from her, hands on his lap and his eyes closed. He nods.

"I see. Thank you, nii-san."

After moments of silence, of Giyuu's quiet comfort, he shuffles to leave the room and give Mitsuko privacy. He doesn't mistake the contrast of her relaxed body in the mattress against how tightly she grips the covers of her futon.

Frustration, Giyuu names it as he closes the door.

Mitsuko is silent, until she whispers to herself.

"What a disappointment."

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 20, 2022 ⏰

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