Jay Halstead imagines

Different - Jay Halstead

A new start at the Intelligence unit in Chicago, that's what you needed. It should have been different from the last time, but it just feels like history is repeating itself. The handsome detective Halstead is your partner, and he couldn't stop flirting. You didn't mind it because he's one handsome man, but you couldn't go through it again. Your last partner died in the field. He was your partner at home and work. After he died, you got a job offer in Chicago, and you took it. You could use a new start, but it only feels like it's starting all over again.

"You're quiet," Jay said as the two of you were in the car to a new crime scene.

You hadn't said anything to him all day besides the needed. "Just a rough night," you mumbled.

"I'm always here if you wanna talk."

"I know."

Jay parked the car, and you couldn't get out any faster. "What do we have, Kim?" You asked, going into automatic pilot.

Once back in the district, you started your assignment, but Jay pulled you apart to the kitchen halfway through.

"Okay, tell me. What's going on?" He closed the door and crossed his arms. He knew something was wrong, and the fact that you didn't tell him made him wonder if it was somehow his fault.

"Jay, it's nothing."

"Clearly it is. Otherwise, you would've told me."

You looked at him. "You really wanna know?"

"Yes, please. Enlighten me. We can't work like this."

You sighed and sat down at the table. "You know I transferred from LA. You also know that I lost a partner in the field. You don't know that my partner got killed in the field during a shooting. He wasn't only my partner at work but also at home. He was my entire life, and one day, that just ended. He was gone, and I was left behind. When I got an offer to work here in Chicago, I took it without a second thought. I needed a new start, something different. But it's no different. I'm in the same cycle." You couldn't look at Jay.

He was now sitting in front of you. "What do you mean?"

"You. You're flirting with me, and I don't see you act that way with Kim, which makes me think...."

"That I like you."

You nodded and looked at Jay.

"I do. I just wanted to do it slowly."

"But that's the thing, Jay. I can't. Don't get me wrong. I like you. Maybe more than I want, but I can't go through something as I went through again. If we do this, I can't walk around feeling like one day. I will be left behind again."

"You won't, I-."

"You can't promise something like that, Jay, because that promise has been broken. It left this giant hole in my heart that I didn't know how to fill. I didn't know what to do with it. If we can't keep this professional, we both need another partner before we get in too deep."

Jay was silent for a moment before he agreed. "Alright. Let's talk to Voight after the case. We both know he doesn't want to deal with us right now."

You nodded in agreement.

Later that day, things took a turn. Your main suspect was on the run, shooting up the building he was hiding in. He already hurt an officer as you were closing in on him. You could see how it went wrong. You tried to pull Jay down, but it was too late. The bullet hit him right in the shoulder. He fell down without any cover around him. You started pulling him back to a safe place. Bullets flying around the two of you.

"Officer down! I repeat, officer down. I need an ambulance and back up right now!" You yelled at your team. You turned to Jay, pressing your hands against the wound on his shoulder.

"Jay, stay with me. Come on. You can't leave me!" The tears were burning in your eyes. "Jay, please. Don't do this to me."

He looked at you, but it was like all the life was out of him. Tears formed in his eyes.

Officers ran into the building, shooting at wherever the shots were coming from.

"We got him!" You heard someone yell. After that, the paramedics came running in and took Jay away from you. You couldn't move. They loaded him into the ambulance and drove off before your mind could register what just happened.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

You couldn't respond. You were frozen.

"Antonio, take her to med!" you heard Voight yell.

Antonio crouched down in front of you. "Y/N, we're going to the hospital, okay? We're going to get you checked out and hear how Jay is doing. He will be alright, I promise."

How you got to the hospital was a mystery to you. Will was asking you all of these questions, but you couldn't answer. You couldn't move. You couldn't do anything.

"I think she's in shock. The blood on her isn't hers, so she'll be okay. Just make sure not to leave her alone. Make sure she eats and drinks something," Will said to Antonio.

"Erin is bringing over some clothes, so she can change. Any updates on Jay?"

You looked hopeful at Will, which they all noticed. Will looked at Antonio before looking at you.

"He's in surgery now, but I think he's going to pull through."

The first tear streamed down your face. Will said down on the bed.

"You did your best to keep him from losing blood. If you weren't right there, the situation would be different right now."

"We... He..."

Antonio handed you a cup of water. You grabbed it from him with shaking hands and took a few sips.

"We talked... before... before we went out. We were going to switch partners because Jay likes me and I like him. We didn't want to get too deep, but I think it's already too late." You smiled through your tears. "He wanted to promise me that he would never leave me. And I said that he couldn't make that promise because a promise like that gets broken." You looked at Will. "You have one stubborn brother."

He laughed, just as Antonio did. You wiped away the tears from your face.

"I thought I had his back... That we-."

"It's not your fault, Y/N. You did everything you could," Antonio said.

You shook your head. "You'll think differently about that when it's the second time it happens."

"Your previous partner...." Antonio slowly said.

You nodded your head. "It was almost the same as this. Only he bled out on the scene, and Jay...."

"Jay had you right by his side. You had his back," Will said.

Voight appeared in the room. "Jay is out of surgery. He's going to be okay. We can go see him."

You were the first one on your feet. You followed Voight to another room, where Jay was lying. He was awake and looked like he wanted to get out of the hospital as soon as he could.

"You're okay," he said as soon as you stepped into the room.

"I can say the same thing about you," you said as you walked over to him to grab his hand. He slightly squeezed it.

"I told you I wouldn't leave."