Jay Halstead imagines

Death of a friend - Jay Halstead

You were in a good mood when you came home. You saw Jay's jacket hanging on the coat rack. You were surprised he was home already. "Jay? I'm home," you announced yourself as you walked into the apartment. He wasn't in the living room or the kitchen. You put your bag down as you walked towards the bedroom. When you passed the bathroom, you could hear sobs coming from there. "Babe?" you knocked on the door before opening it. You found Jay sitting beside the sink with a letter in his hand. Tears streamed down his face.

"Hey, what's going on?" you asked him as you sat down next to him.

Jay didn't say anything. He gave you the letter and put his head on your shoulder. You started to read the letter.

Dear Jay Halstead,

I wanted to personally let you know how much we regret the loss of Greg Gerwitz from the 75th Ranger Regiment. The entire squadron joins me in sending our deepest sympathies during your period of bereavement.

We all share in your pain and sorry. We would like to pay our final respects to one of our best members. He will always be missed.

Tears streamed down your face. Greg was dead. Ever since you met him, he had felt like a brother to you. Thanks to him, you met Jay. The three of you looked out for each other. It wasn't easy for you and Jay when Greg left to return to the Army. But it was what he wanted, what he needed. So you supported him. You expected him to come back home. You wanted him to come home. Some of his stuff was still in the back of your closet. Greg asked you to hold onto it. You did. Now it just felt weird having that in your closet.

You cleared your throat. "Do you know how?" you managed to ask.

"IED."

You put the letter down next to you and leaned with your head against Jay's. The room was filled with sobs, nothing more. You sat that for hours. None of you felt like moving.

When Jay's phone rang, he didn't move. You picked up the phone when you saw it was Voight.

"This is Y/N," you quietly said.

"I'm looking for Jay."

"He's not able to come to the phone," you said. You cleared your throat again. "We just... It's Greg, Mouse. He..." You just couldn't say it.

"I get it. Take the time you need."

"Thank you." You put the phone down and looked at Jay. He had fallen asleep against your shoulder. You wanted to move him to the bed, but it was probably best if you stayed where you were and let him sleep, knowing there wouldn't be much of it in the coming days.

After a few hours, Jay woke up, and the two of you moved to the bedroom. Jay snuggled up against you.

"I still remember it like it was yesterday when Greg first introduced you. The first thing I noticed were your eyes. You had a sparkle in them that I hadn't seen for a very long time," Jay started to tell.

"I did?"

"Yeah, you still do. It's beautiful," Jay mumbled.

"You know you also have a sparkle in your eyes?"

Jay shook his head.

"You didn't at first. I knew you were still struggling with adjusting to life after the Army, just like Greg. You picked it up faster than him. Slowly, the light came back into your eyes. I noticed the sparkle for the first time when I told you how much I loved you. I will never forget that look on your face."

"I will never forget that moment and what happened after," he chuckled.

"Oh god, Greg was horrified," you laughed. "He was just standing there and thought, what in the world is happening."

"That will never not be funny," Jay chuckled.

Then it hit you that you could never laugh about with Greg anymore. Fresh new tears were streaming down your face again. "I miss him already," you mumbled as Jay pulled you closer.

"Me too..."