Starlight (Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop one shots)

Did you get enough love ? (Platonic Nat x reader)

As you can see, this oneshot will be a bit different than usual. It's basically a 18 years old you coming out to Nat who's like a big sister to you. Don't know if anyone needed to read it but I surely needed to write it so here you go.

You were sitting on your bed, tears stinging in your eyes.

Being in the closet and having to hide your identity from your
family had always been hard but today it seemed even more painful.

You had just got your heart broken for the first time and you couldn't even tell them.

Inside, you were quite litteraly falling apart but still you coudn't call them and had to keep pretending everything was fine.

And it was one of the most isolating thing you had ever experienced.

Of course, your friends knew you were gay and had tried to comfort you but...it just wasn't the same.

Only someone who knew what being in the closet felt like could understand that desperate need of support and approval from an authority figure.

Although Kate and Yelena were amazing you still craved something more. Although you couldn't figure out what.

" Y/n ? " Someone knocked on your door softly and you recognized Natasha  " Are you okay ? "

" I'm..." You couldn't prevent your voice from breaking. " I'm fine don't worry. "

" Sweetheart, you don't seem fine. " The redhead answered with genuine concerne. " Can I come in ? "

You opened your mouth to tell her to go away but you only managed to make yourself sob harder.

Natasha finally burst in and rushed to your side.

You really weren't much of a crier which probably explained why she seemed so worried about you.

" What happened Y/n ? " The redhead asked, obviously worried.
" Do I need to kill someone ? "

You couldn't help but laugh at this and Natasha smiled back at you.

" I'm serious though, Y/n. If you need something, anything really, I'm here for you. You know that right ? "

You nodded, leaning against her and she hugged you tight.

" Nat ? " You asked after a few minutes.

" Yes ? "

" Can I..." You hesitated before finding the strenght to keep going.
" Can I tell you something ? "

" Sure. " She pulled away to look you in the eyes. " Anything. "

You opened your mouth, prepapring yourself to say out loud the three words that could potentially make you lose her.

You knew there was a risk you would regret having pronounced them but you simply couldn't do this anymore.

Couldn't handle the shame, loneliness and lack of support you had always had to live with anymore.

" I like girls. " You finally admitted. " Please, don't hate me. I swear I didn't choose to be like this. "

Before she even had time to answer, a tear rolled on your cheek and soon you were fully sobbing again.

You hadn't wanted to break but you had been so strong for so long...

" Oh Y/n sweety..." Nat hugged you again, this time even tighter.
" I'm so proud of you for telling me, of course I don't hate you. "

You sobbed harder and the older girl rubbed your back gently, whispering sweet words to you.

You had held back your tears, swallowed down your feelings for years and now you just couldn't stop crying.

Because for the first time someone had told you they were proud of you.

And because nobody should have to go through this. Ever.

" Are..." Nat asked after you had finally calmed down. " Are you parents okay with this ? "

" They aren't " A tear rolled down your cheek. " And they would hate me if they knew about it. "

The redhead didn't reply anything to this and simply gave  you another hug. A warm and comforting hug that meant  " I'm sorry " and " You don't deserve this. "

" Now that you know I will always accept you... " She eventually added. " Is there anything else you wanted to talk about ? "

" Well there is this girl..." You swallowed hard and she gave you an encouraging smile. " I had a crush on her for years and I ended up falling in love with her. "

" Great ! " The redhead commented. " Are you planning on telling her ? "

" Well...that the thing. " You sighted, feeling like crying again.
" I did tell her but...it was a terrible idea. As it turned out she is straight and doesn't wanna be my friend anymore. I feel like it's unfair, you know ? No matter what I never standed and will never stand a chance with her. "

" Yeah. "

" God I wish...I wish I were a boy. " You sighted again. " One of those boys with fluffy hair and dimples who can have all the girls they want. Who can make their family proud without having to hide their identity "

" I understand that. " Nat cupped your face and looked you in the eyes. " But sadly, we cannot change who we are or what we went through. We just...have to live with it. "

" How do you do it ? "

The redhead took a moment to think about the answer before started talking again.

" It took me a while, honestly. " The smile on Nat's face couldn't hide the hurt in her eyes. " You know, coming to term with the fact that I would always be a widow. But one day, I used a move learnt in the Red Room during a battle. "

" And...? "

" And thanks to it, I saved Yelena's life. "

You gave her a confused look which caused her to chuckle.

" My point is, everything happens for a reason. And someday when you meet the right girl, it will all make sense. I promise. "

The redhead wrapped an arm around your shoulder, kissing the top on your head.

" Thank you Nat. " You told her after a few minutes.
" Somehow you always find the right thing to say. "

" It's okay sweetheart, really." She sighted. " I wish I could do more. I just...I want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being who you are. If your family ever made you feel like it was the case, they are wrong. You're not a mistake, you're a strong and beautiful girl. Okay ? "

" Okay. "

And for the first time you really believed her words.

So this is it. And if it hits a little too close to home, remember that Nat would accept you (as well as all the other Avengers).