Love Culture In The 1960's ('The Outsiders' Fan fic)

chapter 44

「Chapter 44」

After dinner, Soda had volunteered to clean the dishes but Darry refused, insisting that Soda and I get back to where we had left off earlier.

We stepped outside and sat on the porch steps, both unsure who was going to break the silence between us first.

I decided it best to be me. "How much did Dallas tell you about us?"

He had this troubled look in his eyes, pained almost, before he spoke. "Enough to know you guys had a thing last summer. Didn't want to ask for the details, ya' know?"

I nodded. I knew him knowing would only make things uncomfortable between us but he was bound to find out sooner or later. The truth always comes out eventually. "I'm sorry you had to find out from him. I just wasn't sure how to tell you myself."

"I think I would've preferred not knowin' at all." He admitted.  "I mean Dally is a friend of mine. It's strange seein' him, and now knowin' that you two had. . . Look, it's none of my business now and I'm sorry I made you feel the need to explain yourself, but I do hope you can understand how this could be a little tough on me."

I nodded. I wasn't sure what to say to him other than to apologize again.

"I didn't say it before, but I really did love you, Cordelia. I still do, maybe not in the way I did before but, I think that's why this news has kind of shaken me up as badly as it has. Why I've been so harsh with Dal." He rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks flushed and eyes averted from mine.

His words had left me to blush."You loved me?"

"I still do. I think a part of me always had. Heck, even as kids I cared a great deal about you. I always hated seein' you cry. Especially when Steve was a little too mean to you." His smile was weak but apparent.

"Steve was such a little jerk when we were younger." I joked.

"He still is, kind of." Soda agreed.

"That's our Steve. Wouldn't change a thing about him."

He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, I knew by his demeanor he still had some things he wanted to talk to me about. "So, I hate to ask, but why were you and Dally together this mornin'?"

"It's kind of a long story." I began.

"I have the time." He sat patiently as I gathered up the courage to explain what had happened last night.

"Clark and I broke up yesterday. He wasn't sick like I had told you he was. He left the party and then headed for the airport the same night. Once Dallas got me back to the hotel I realized I didn't have my key on me to get in so Dallas offered for me to stay the night at his place."

"You stayed the night with him?"

"I took the sofa while he stayed in his room and that was that." I cleared up. "The following morning he drove me to pick up the key which, I left in my purse, then after that he took me out for breakfast and. . . Well, thats when you showed up."

"Sounds like you had a rough night. I know my behavior probably didn't help either. " Embarrassed with himself he changed the subject. "So, you and Clark broke up?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I hoped he wouldn't ask why.

"Sorry it didn't work out between you two. Seemed like a really nice guy in my opinion."

"He was- well, is." I agreed. "But I don't really think he was for me. I mean, we 'made sense' to the people around us, but deep down I knew he wasn't mine. I don’t think I could have ever loved him the way that he deserved.