Taming The Rain

Chapter 8

Today is Sunday. But it feels like a different one, di gaya ng mga nagdaang Sundays na nagsimba ako. Na para bang wala lang sa akin ang service. This one is different because I'm more aware of God's presence through the Holy Spirit. I feel like I finally understood what it means to be with God. I guess being faithful in reading the word and trusting God has paid off.

As usual, si Billie pa rin ang leader sa Musical Worship. She said her greetings sa mga tao at nagsimulang magdasal bago kumanta ng awitin para sa Diyos.

'From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creations revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And You know them by name
You are amazing, God

All powerful, untameable
Awestruck, we fall to our knees
As we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go?
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light?
Yet, conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And You know them by name
You are amazing, God
All powerful, untameable
Awestruck, we fall to our knees
As we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God
You are amazing, God
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And You know them by name
You are amazing, God

All powerful, untameable
Awestruck, we fall to our knees
As we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And You know them by name
You are amazing, God

Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart
And You love me the same
You are amazing, God
You are amazing, God

As I sang finally understanding what it means to worship God through music, I felt this overwhelming presence stirring within me. It was then revealed to me that I was seeking the wrong things before. I was so focused on pleasing people and striving to be good enough for them.

But now, I realized that I will never be good enough for people. Because people will always expect me to be someone they want me to be. Not who I am. Because they reject it. Even I rejected it.

But Jesus when I started to know Him, I felt like I belonged. That I don't need to do anything for Him in order for Him to give me His love. That I don't need to change first before He would love me. He loved me first even when I was still a sinner.  He treated me like a family. That I belong to Him because He created me. That I don't need to fit in because I always have a place in His heart.

Right then and there, I felt a conviction that He is the one I should always seek first and foremost. The One I should build a strong relationship with.

After the Musical worship, the preaching started.

Today's preaching is about forgiveness. Naalala ko na naman ang nangyari nung pumunta kami ni mama kila Tita. The day I decided to forgive them without thinking twice because God told me to do so. And I'm glad I did because forgiveness set my heart free from anger and grudge.

In today's service, I feel just a little bit surprised to witness myself more determined to listen and know more about God. I don't know why, but there's something in me that is hungry for more about God. Maybe I'll just ask Billie about this later.

It's been a week since mama returned to Malaysia for work. I always missed her kasi ang layo niya sakin. But I need to understand that she's doing it for me. Kaya naman, I should do my best in my studies so that all of her hard work will pay off once I graduate.