Bitter (wlw) (teacherxstudent)

five

We ended up having lunch together too, time moved incredibly quickly as we got lost in our talking, and it somehow ended up being around 12pm without us even noticing.

I learned more about Sam and her life, even though she still seemed to be a better listener than talker.

She was probably the kind of person that kept all of her thoughts inside without expressing them, which made it hard for me to understand what she thought of me.

I’d be lying if I said the thought of her secretly hating me didn’t scare me, but at the end of the day if she actually did, she wouldn’t have even asked me to meet up after Friday evening.

She actually opened up a bit about her situation with her ex and the reason she’d moved to New York.

They’d been living together in London for over two years when Sam got an incredible job offer here, but the woman, whose name was still unknown to me, actually was from somewhere not too far from here and had been willing to move back to the USA for a while.

So they moved into a flat in the city and had a happy few months together, until she started to say she felt trapped in the relationship or something.

Sam said she probably will never understand what exactly happened, she supposed that the difference between their lifestyles was starting to affect them after years of being under control.

If there’s something I learned about Sam it’s that she was a really tough person, she definitely was able to go through shitty situations and get over stuff quite easily.

She was literally talking about what happened with the straightest face possible and the most unbothered expression.

And I knew from experience that some of it was just a result of trying to hide every kind of emotion as a coping mechanism. And I also knew that wasn’t good for you and your health.

But I really didn’t want to ruin the whole mood and seem invasive. We’d only known each other for a few days, after all.

I wished we could have stayed out longer, but I really had to prepare for my first day of college the following day.

Going out had distracted me from the anxiety I had but when the thought of it popped in my mind for just a second it immediately came back.

Sam tried to convince me it was all going to be okay and told me she was a bag of nerves on her first day too, which kind of helped.

She also gave me a few NYC Subway tips, which were also really helpful, considering that she’d been here for way more than me and I’d only traveled with it once before.

She also told me the following day was a quite important day for her at work too, so it was probably better to get going.

I never managed to understand what her job was, she seemed to avoid any work related questions. I really didn’t want to stress her about it, so I figured I’d get to that subject once she felt like talking about it. 

“Bye then!” I said as Sam opened her front door. “Once again, you know where to find me if you need me”

“Of course. Same for me.”

As I turned around and headed towards the stairs I heard Sam’s voice calling my name.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t stress out about tomorrow too much. You’re a really good person, I’m sure you’ll do great” she replied, unexpectedly grabbing my right hand and squeezing it.

“Uhm, I….thanks. I hope so” was the only thing I managed to say. I felt as if all of the ability to talk to her I’d gained suddenly disappeared once her hand touched mine.

We both ended up looking directly at our intertwined hands, not knowing what to say.

“As I said, I’m sure you will” she broke the silence, clearing her throat and slowly releasing her hand from my grip.

“I really appreciate it. I…I better get going” I awkwardly blubbered, this time actually climbing the first few steps.

Fuck. The only thing I could think of was how much I hated myself for probably completely ruining the moment we were having.

I spent half of that afternoon thinking about that and the other half on the verge of an anxiety attack because of college. I tried to repeat what Sam had told me to  myself but I just couldn’t seem to calm down. I knew I was probably exaggerating  but couldn’t really help it.

Around dinner time I showered and made myself a pot of instant noodles, changing into my pajamas as I waited for them to be ready.

As I took the first bite the silence in my flat was suddenly broken by the sound of the doorbell.

And I knew that there was only one person who knew exactly where I lived. I was kind of hoping it wasn’t her because of the conditions I was in.

But I also obviously wanted to see her if I had the opportunity to.

I opened the door and found myself in front of no other than Sam, her right arm leaning on the doorframe. Her annoyed expression made it seem as if she’d been waiting there forever, but I’d definitely come to understand that it was just her natural look.

She was also wearing pajamas, but hers were way more stylish than my oversized probably stained t-shirt, they were a pale pink silk blouse and shorts. The blouse’s neckline fell in the right spot to show a good amount of cleavage.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

“You told me you were sad because you love gardening but you had to leave your plants at home, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did”

I only then noticed that there was a beautiful pot with a white orchid plant in it right next to her feet, placed on the floor.

“I took this with me after moving out because my ex didn’t want it. But I feel like I’m just slowly making it die, I really have no idea on how to treat plants. I’m sure you can salvage it” she laughed.

“Oh, uhm…sure. It doesn’t look that bad, you know?” I joked, picking it up from the floor and taking a closer look at it. “Just needs a bit of looking after”

“Well, it’s all yours now”

“Really?”

“Of course. It’s better off in your hands for sure”

“Thank you so much” I smiled.

“No problem, you’re really doing me a favor by taking it” she chuckled.

“I’ll let you know how I get on with it then. Thanks, really” I said, spontaneously going in for a hug not even knowing if it was the appropriate thing to do.

As my arms approached her back the stiffness of her body seemed to fade, her arms also lightly wrapping around my body.

I pulled back from the hug when I all of a sudden felt something I was absolutely not expecting to feel: her lips touched my cheek for a second, planting a short, almost unintentional, kiss on it.

“Good night, Ellie” Sam said before I could even realize what happened, as she cleared her throat.

She didn’t even look at me or wait for my answer before turning around and going down the stairs in front of her, leaving me at my doorstep with the most confused face I’d probably ever had.