Bitter (wlw) (teacherxstudent)

six

The following morning I woke up feeling less anxious than I thought I would be, but really sleepy.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened the previous evening, I still felt her lips on my skin and kept replaying her basically running away from me in my head.

And when I finally managed to fall asleep I had a dream about her.

So yeah, not the best way to start your first day of college.

I made myself some extra strong coffee, hoping it would help me to wake up and be alert.

I got ready and wore the outfit I’d carefully chosen to wear right before I started to eat and everything happened: a dark green sweater vest over a white shirt, beige high-waisted pants and white Converse shoes.

After looking at myself in the mirror way too long, worrying about every single detail of my appearance, I took a deep breath trying to ignore that I was shaking from head to toe and left my flat, heading towards the nearest subway station and honestly wishing I wouldn’t bump into Sam while going out.

I was really not in the condition to face all of the emotions that meeting her would make me feel.

I surprisingly managed to get onto the right train and waited three stops to get off, finding myself in front of what would be the place I’d be going to everyday for the next few years.

The building I’d just entered was full of young people, some moving in groups, some seemingly in a great hurry to get somewhere, some looked really relaxed and happy to be there while others had the same look I probably had on my face, a kind of “I’m so overwhelmed and I just want to escape” look.

I’d previously studied the campus map as carefully as I could to avoid getting lost on my first day, which wouldn’t be an unusual thing to happen considering how many times I’d accidentally ended up in the wrong place.

I blamed that on the fact that I tend to get lost into my own thoughts quite easily.

Once I’d arrived in front of the building where I was going to attend my first class I figured out that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get into the room and settle down even if it was still 9.40 am, which meant the class wouldn't start for another 20 minutes.

Better early than late, I guessed.

And other people had the same idea, apparently.

As I got into the room there were about ten people already occupying the front row of seats, some looking restless and anxious, others perfectly comfortable and enthusiastic.

If I had to define how I was feeling in that moment, it would be a mix of the two. An extremely important and uncertain chapter of my life was about to begin, but I also was going to be able to study something I genuinely enjoyed and was interested in.

After what felt like two minutes, the room started to fill with other students and soon after the professor entered the room.

Introduction to the Study of Literature. My first ever college class.

As I was expecting, it just consisted of the professor handing out the course syllabus and just explaining the general schedule and structure.

He was really open to any doubts or questions of any kind. I was really hoping the other professors I’d have during those years would be like that.

Once the class was over it was lunchtime and there were still two hours before my next class, so I went out looking for something to eat on a bench in the nearby park.

I soon after realized it was better if I'd brought something from home instead of buying something there, judging from how high the price of everything was in that area.

I ate the most expensive hummus and vegetable wrap I’d ever eaten, observed all the other students who had the same idea as me, and went back to the campus, looking for the classroom where my lesson, British literature before 1800, was supposed to be held.

I was once more about twenty minutes early but that method worked for the previous class, so I figured out it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get there early again.

Almost as soon as I chose a seat and settled down, a girl with short black hair parted in the middle and way more piercings than I could count sat in the seat right next to my one.

“Hi! I was behind you in this morning’s class” she said. She sounded like she was talking to someone she’d known for a long time, which caught me off guard and initially made me think she wasn’t talking to me. But there was no one else sitting in that area.

“Uhm, hi. Nice to meet you” I said, trying to make my social skills seem better than they actually were.

“I’m Mei. I’m guessing you also don’t know anyone here, do you?”

“I’m Ellie. And no, I don’t. I’m more focused on finding the right classrooms and stuff today” I let out a light laugh.

“I feel you” she laughed back. “My sense of direction is shit”

“I just get distracted too easily, I guess”

“Well, fair enough. How are you liking the whole atmosphere here?”

“It's great, less chaotic than I thought it would be. And I’m really excited for all the classes, this morning’s one already seems amazing”

“I know right! I feel the same. I really appreciated how available the professor was, I thought all college professors  were these cold and detached people” she chuckled. “Let’s hope the one we’re about to meet is the same”

“Yeah, they’ll be here any minute now” I said, looking at my watch.

“Oh shit, I thought it was earlier than it actually is! We should hang out after class or these days in general. I can leave you my number if you want”

“Oh, yeah, sur-”

“I didn’t want that to sound wrong. Sorry, I have this thing where I tend to become too friendly too soon. Please tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable and I’ll jus-”

“No, it’s totally fine, don’t worry” I laughed. “I appreciate it, really”

I really could have done with some friends, and meeting someone who did all the talking was convenient for me at that moment. She seemed great and fun to be with.

And was also like really, really attractive.

“Here, I’ll write my number down” I said as I scribbled my number on the piece of paper she’d placed on her desk.

As I was doing that Mei suddenly whispered “Oh, here comes the professor”. Which instinctively made me look up.

And I wish I never had.