Bitter (wlw) (teacherxstudent)

ten

The next few days were miserable. I didn’t attend classes because I was too scared to see Sam. I couldn’t bear the sight of her after what happened.

I just laid in bed for most of the day for the next few days after it. And I knew that would just make me feel worse but I really couldn’t be bothered to do anything else.

Out of all the people I could fall for, I fell for the only one I couldn’t have. I’d always do things like those, basically auto-sabotage myself. And I’d never learn from my mistakes.

What happened wasn’t even my fault, she’s the one who started the kiss and everything, but I somehow felt like it was.

I should have distanced myself from her before a slight infatuation became a full-blown crush. If I’d done that she wouldn’t have fallen for me.

The fact that she was so cold in her behavior really didn’t help all of that. If only she had shown the interest in me she claimed to have, we both could have realized what was happening before it was too late. 

No matter what, I felt extremely guilty.

And when I was in a bad mood for some reason all I could do, as I said, was do nothing and stay in bed all day. Crying or overthinking until I consumed myself. Or both, really.

I tried calling Vic a few times, but she was really busy with college and tried her best to talk to me as much as she could, but having her on the phone was just not as reassuring as having her actually in front of me.

Skipping class was not a good thing to do and I knew it, but seeing Sam was the worst possible thing to happen to me at that moment. I was sure that I wouldn’t have been able to pretend that I was feeling fine and I didn’t want her to see that I wasn’t well because of her.

Another big problem about the situation was that Mei was obviously wondering why I hadn’t been attending classes. I’d told her I had a fever and wasn’t feeling well in general, but I didn’t know how long I could have kept lying to her like that.

She’d always write to me to ask how I was and to update me on college related stuff. After almost a week of not seeing me she asked if she could come to my apartment to check up on me and just keep me company.

I knew she’d started to suspect there was more than a fever behind my behavior. And maybe a bit of company couldn’t harm me, considering I literally hadn’t seen anyone in those days.

So I gave her my address and waited for her to stop by, praying that she wouldn’t casually bump into Sam as she entered the building.

She luckily didn’t.

After about half an hour at the end of classes that day I heard the doorbell ring. I got up, trying to ignore the flashbacks of hearing that sound as Sam was behind the door, and opened it.

In front of me was Mei wearing denim overalls with a white vest under, the pair of docs and the steel chain necklace she always seemed to be wearing. The late afternoon light that came from the window gave her bronze toned skin some sort of glow.

“Hey girl! How are you feeling?” she asked, entering the flat.

"Definitely better than the past few days” I said. I was lying but couldn’t really tell the truth to her. “Come in, we can sit on the couch I guess. If it’s able to hold two people” I laughed realising how ridiculous my small ass couch looked.

I also had to keep reminding myself I was supposed to be recovering from a bad fever and fake-coughed every few seconds.

“Glad to hear, '' she said, also laughing at the couch, as she sat and placed her backpack next to her, opening it. “I printed out a few of my notes from classes” she continued, taking a folder with written pieces of paper out of the bag.