|𝙰𝚐𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙾𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜| 𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚖𝚙 (Retired)

Mini stories - "After everything"

This chapter is kinda rooted in personal emotions, Aka a vent chapter, just didn't wanna use myself for it

So enjoy crying

—

"You cannot tell me . . ." "You think what you're doing is actually right! . . ."

The tv kept making noise but Phil wasn't taking any of it in. It was just there so he wasn't sitting in silence creepily.

He just stared at the carpet, or well, his gaze was faced towards the carpet but he wasn't exactly staring at it. He wasn't really staring at anything. He'd been biting his nails, lost in his thoughts about. You know.

We all know why.

He'd recently become more reserved, less extroverted, and overall just less talkative off camera. He just didn't have the energy anymore.

"Phil?"
"Mm"
"You okay?"
"Mhm"
"You sure?"
"Mhm"
"Have you eaten?"
"Mhm"

Instead of backing off, Kristen persisted, questioning what he ate etcetera. Phil couldn't give a full answer. Just I dunno. Simple I don't know's

"Phil," she took his hands, pulling his fingers from his lips and catching his attention fully.

"Oh, hi Kristen,,"
"Phil, honey,"
"Hm"
"Your nails are bleeding, and you haven't eaten today"

He stared at his hands in Kristen's hands and just looked a bit shocked.
"Oh."

"Now, We are going to get you food"
"Okay,,"

She expected phil to stand up to follow her but he didn't even move. As if he couldn't force his body up from the couch.

"Love, you also need to get up"
"I.." he hesitated, "help me up"

She helped pull Phil up, being a crutch of sorts to help him get his balance once more. It took a second but he did it.

"To the kitchen, can you do that?"
"M'not five. I can walk"
"Phil, that wasn't patronizing, I literally just had to help you up, I'm just worried"
"I know,,"

'She's worried about you.' 'Selfish of you to make her worry, she has so much already' 'you've derailed, he'd be disappointed'

"shut up."

"I didn't say anything hon,"
"Hm.?"

He snapped back again, his hands at his side balled into fists. Oh, it's happening again. At least they reached the kitchen

"Sorry, Uhm. So, lunch?"
"Yeah uh, just sit at the counter, I'll make you something quick"
"What about ramen.?"
"Is it what you want?"
"Yeah,,"
"Ramen it is, chicken or beef?"
"Close your eyes and pick one"
"Beef it is"

Phil rest his head on the cold counter as soon as he was sat. He was lucky to have such a supportive wife, especially with everything. God he owed her big time. How would he ever..pay her back? This isn't something you can just pay back. She's putting up with his mood swings, his lack of enthusiasm, and what has he done for her but mope around?

"Phil are you okay?"
"Mmh..?"

He hadn't realized he'd started crying, normally he knows when he starts to sob. This isn't regular.

"Yeah, Uhm, m'o..o..?" Why was it so hard to make a sentence without wanting to cry more, without cutting out. Why we're words escaping his head? Kristen just waited patiently, she's such..a good wife.

Once he managed to say that he was okay, Phil zoned out again. For the hundredth time. He just wanted to curl up and sleep again, hug his jacket and sleep.

"Ramen's done"
"Mm.." He stared at the bowl that was set in front of him, confusion washed over him as he'd forgotten how to..use the fork.  How do you forget it? Well, He didn't forget it just felt harder to use it.

"You gonna eat?"
"Too hot" that was a good enough excuse. It was still steaming, he could burn himself on it.

"I've been meaning to ask, Phil, I know it's been hard but, have you been okay?"

'Oh of course he has. Haven't you big chump?'

"Mhm, I have"
"I've never properly sat down and asked you since, you know"
"Yeah, I get it,"
"And you know what I'm going to say"

He paused, staring at the bowl of food instead of Kristen.

"You know how selfish that would be?"
"How would it be selfish Phil"
"Regressing after. After. No. Kristen, no!"
"It would help you,"

She didn't even raise her voice, she knew he was hurting and yelling wouldn't help.

"Please Phil, you know the longer you suppress it the worse you'll feel, I promise you'll be safe, that he wouldn't think you're selfish"

"..."
"..."
"..."
"Just once"
"You get once, okay?"
"Thank you Phil,"

They sat in silence for a while. Phil didn't zone out he just, didn't know what to say.

"You want help eating?"
"..."
"Is that a Yes?"
"..(sigh).."
"That, little man, is a yes"

After getting spoon-fed, Well fork-fed, Phil just began to mumble and mutter to himself. Nothing bad and nothing audible but he was mumbling.

From the kitchen to the couch we go, nothing fun. He just wanted to be left alone but didn't he just owe Kristen this? Yeah. He owed it to her. He curled into a soft blanket she'd brought over from the bedroom and watched the television. She hadn't even put anything on yet, it just felt awkward to look anywhere else.

Kristen began to talk at him, he was sure she was asking him in a sing-song tone what he wanted to watch but it all sounded muffled, he just wanted to close his eyes and sleep.

He missed his friend so much..

What he wouldn't give to just play one last game. To just hear a

"Heeeh?"

It was rather humorous, but so was his buddy..