it was already day four of weirdmageddon.
which is a strange thing to say considering "time is dead" as bill put it in his introduction.
I mean, how do they even figure this out? do they use their clocks and watches like they normally do?
wait no, that can't be right because the clock tower stopped working way before it was destroyed. they can't use the sky because it's the same blood-red color all day and night long and everybody's sleep schedule has gotten extremely fucked up due to stress so they can't use that either.
HOW IN THE FLYING FUCK DO THEY FIGURE THAT OUT?
other than that, bill has been stopping by recently to attempt to comfort me (imagine if I was trying to stop a child from crying, that's basically how awkward it was.), each time asking if I was ready to have possession of the pendent, and each time I respond 'no'.
I've also been improving on my newfound natural form of magic.
that's a sentence I never thought I would say.
Apparently after some research bill had done, he discovered that my entry into this world in general had something to do with this natural magic.
which was weird, and now I sound like one of those Mary sues which I don't like nearly as much as I thought I would. but on the bright side, I must have a hella lot of plot armor. but on the downside my ass has been beaten to smithereens by multiple living training-dummies that bill has summoned for me. (Think mad dummy from Undertale but with more knives)
now for our current situation, I'm currently up in the fear-a-mid helping stack the people-throne because apparently since I have minor artistic talent, I get forced to do all the decorating for literally everything.
is that just me? maybe.
well at least that gray demon thing (I think his actual name is cryptos?) and 8-ball are great company and extremely funny.
also building this thing was like one giant game of human-Janga and I loved it.
not long after we had finished stacking the people bill had rung the multipurpose ford-scratcher 5000 (now as a bell!) and all of as looked over to them.
"Ladies! gentlemen! that creature with like eighty-seven different faces!" bill exclaimed pointing his fork at random people. (Where the hell did he get that fork?)
"EIGHTY-EIGHT DIFFERENT FACES!" the creature protested.
"Woah, sorry. touchy subject." bill stated, fixing his bowtie and looking away. "Anyways! it's been fun turning gravity falls inside out and rounding up all its terrified citizens and stacking them into this massive throne of human agony!" his voice echoed at the agony bit just as we finished the last few people and started to step away so bill can sit down. "don't worry! they're not conscious anymore. probably."
just then lazy Susan started to un-freeze. "Ugh my armlets. they have friendly faces."
"Woops, haha. bac-back you go there." he stated, squishing her into place.
"Oh, and Lynda, here, take it as a reward for your hard work." bill stated, snapping his fingers and a very strange looking trophy appeared in my hands. The trophy had random gory things that seemed to be frozen in place by gold, along with big letters saying, 'you rock!'.
"Firstly, thanks." I stated trying to figure out what the heck it was. "But that makes me question why you didn't just snap your fingers and make your throne appear which would have saved a lot of our time."
bill merely shrugged before continuing his monologue.
"But gravity falls is just the beginning! it's time to take our chaos worldwide!" bill exclaimed.
oh god, did I forget to discuss this with him? man, he is going to be pissed. luckily, I got the equation, but I am going to need to have the timeline go like normal for a bit (for the sake of hopefully making sure that bill doesn't die.) then we can take over the universe.
but only as long as I can have my own planet.
I want my own planet, okay?
"that's right boys! to the corner of the earth! set the world aflame with your weirdness! this dimension is ours! oh and Lynda stay here at the base of operations." bill stated before starting to talk to himself. "ahhh, global domination I could get used to-" then suddenly all the demons ran into the barrier. "WHATTT?!" bill exclaimed before looking at me quickly and floating out the window and tapping the barrier with his finger.
"Hmm. this might be more complicated than I thought." bill stated.
"I think I broke something" one of the henchmen stated.
"WALK IT OFF!" bill screamed before floating down to me. I couldn't help but giggle a bit. then soon after that everybody slowly gets up and tends to their injuries, after that's done, we re-group.
"Alright, can anybody explain to me why even with our new-found I N F I N I T E P O W E R" bill stated, shooting lightning bolts everywhere and everybody freaking out. "NONE OF US CAN ESCAPE THE BOARDERS OF THIS STUPID HICK TOWN! there's some kind of force-field keeping us in, but who would know how to fix it..." bill contemplated, looking at ford. "Maybe somebody has to come out of retirement..."
wait a minute, did he just completely forget me? not that I'm complaining I want to hear him sing. but still, seriously? also, I think we talked about this. I am so going to freak out ford in any way that I can, and who knows, maybe I might even spill my fun little identity secret to the world.
"Bill! sorry boss! but Gideon let the pines family escape! they're in Mabel's bubble as we speak!" keyhole proclaimed leading bill to burst into laughter.
"I'm well aware and we have already handled it." bill stated, trying to say it in such a way that wouldn't resurface any child killing trauma for me. "Besides, buddy. Mabel's bubble is the most diabolical trap I've ever created. it would take a will of titanium not to give into its temptation. anyway, take the rest of the day off. things just got a little more interesting..." bill stated gazing into the bubble and dismissing keyhole. soon everybody else left leaving me alone with bill.
"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?" bill asked sitting on his throne and looking over at me on mine.
"Oh absolutely, I'm surprised you forgot what I told you about that."
"Wait you said something?" bill asked.
"See, your ego's too high, you're overestimating yourself. that's how you lose Yanno." I coached.
"In the show, right?"
"Yes, but who's to say you might not come to me for advice for something important and do something stupid like that again." I stated, pausing. "Which is why I'm not going to help you with the barrier until the original story line is complete, excluding the part where you fail of course. but due to this I can only give you some limited information right now."
"that's a shame. guess I got to resort to the plan I came up with."
"That is?" I questioned. despite knowing the answer.
"Old fordsy is coming out to play." bill paused. "You don't mind if I borrow your room, do you?"
"Oh, absolutely not. I want to be in the room when it happens."
"Alrighty, get some rest you'll need it in the morning, big plans are on its way." bill stated about to float away. "Also, tell me if I'm doing something wrong, I trust you." and then he disappeared.
-
a/n: today is my birthday.
yeah! being forced to stay awake because of fireworks!
anyway, happy new year! see ya next year guys!
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all walls are meant to fall (bill cipher & reader story)
Fanfictionbirds of a feather flock together, as they always say. well, in this case, Y/n is a snake. she is cold, witty, and manipulative, and only does things for her own benefit. she is a master of loopholes, and despite lacking friends or allies, she gets...
