chapter thirty-three - bill needs to hire more capable henchmen

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the screaming from the pyramid could be heard throughout the town. 

of course, that screaming was the noise of the extreme pain and torture bill was putting ford through that I totally didn't suggest.  

along with the screaming, laughter could also be heard.

that was clearly, and obviously, the sound of all the henchmaniacs laughing their ass off at the sound of ford's screaming.  

"Ready to talk now?" bill asked smugly, looking towards ford. 

"I won't..." he pants. "I won't let you into my mind!" 

"What do you think pals!" bill said gazing at us quickly. "Another 500 volts?" bill asks making me over think how much electricity a human can take before they die.

so, a voltage of 20-10,000 can kill a person depending on the AMP if it's between 0.1 and 0.2 and considering its a voltage of over 20 bill likely is purposely using an AMP rate that isn't deathly... but also consider the fact that I only used google to know this so I could be completely wrong and misinterpreting the facts. but then again-

 suddenly the rooms begins to shake snapping me out of my thoughts and bill glances at us again. "Hey, do you guys hear that?" 

then a giant t-rex head tears open the wall.

oh, I guess it's this time already.

at least it's a funny scene.

"What!" bill exclaims in an overdramatic tone that I couldn't tell if he meant or not. "I just fixed that door!" he cries, putting a hand to his head. 

the Shacktron backs away for a moment to get into a more grounding stance and Soos comes out with a flag. "it's the Shacktron dude!" he exclaims. 

"They made the house into a robot." the wax head states. "Fascinating." 

"So, the mortals are trying to fight back huh?" bill questions while sitting on his throne, tapping his two fingers together. "Adorable!" suddenly he stands up, using his throne like a stage. "henchmaniacs! you know what to do!" he commands, soon everybody grows into a giant size. "TAKE. THEM. OUT!" everybody cheers and rushes into battle.

"This was a bad idea." stan said, just barely able to hear him from such a large distance. 

"Uh hey dudes" Soos states tapping his mic. "Is this thing on? test?!" Soos asks and the mic makes a horrible screech. "We just want you monster dudes to hand over ford or we are going to have to fight and junk. hehe you're a little cutie!" Soos says, pointing at paci-fire. 

"I have butchered millions on countless moons." paci states, in a deadpan and creepy voice.

"Woah! I liked you better before you talked." Soos states before muttering something that I couldn't quite hear from the pyramid but assumed that he was insulting pacifier further. 

"ATTACK!" Pyronica proclaims, proceeding to launch everybody into battle.

"Alright dudes!" Soos says running into the shack. 

"Everyone! like we planned!" dipper exclaims, coming out like a muffle from shack walls. "3! 2! 1! go!" 

the shack proceeded to hit away all the demons one by one like bowling pins. I turn to bill. "And I thought I was scared of these guys once, they are just a bunch of weaklings! jeez, you need better staff."

"Well, I'm sorry that everybody in the nightmare realm is a bunch of-" bill starts, then proceeding to say a bunch of words that I assume to be colorful insults in his home language. 

I look over to see that Xanthar had gotten thrown to the far corners of the town and teeth was running around with fire trailing behind him.

man, he was my favorite too. 

"Guys? like seriously? you had one job to do." bill states, rubbing his eye in irritation. 

"Bravo dipper and Mabel!" ford proclaims after being released from his chains

stupid! you could have just run away but noooo. 

"Wow. look at that. those kids really care about you. and you care about them." bill states flipping over his bricks. "d o n ' t c h a ?"

"What are you-! oh. oh. oh no." ford realizes. 

"Surely torturing those kids will make you talk!" bill exclaims 

"No! no! no! not the kids-!" ford proclaims, only further proving that bill was right. bill clearly having enough of his attitude, turned him to gold. 

"let's get this over with." bill states, cracking his fingers and leaving the fear-a-mid before raising a fist, fixing his bowtie, and smashing the Shacktron and sending dust flying everywhere only to learn that the shack was still standing. "What the- No! no no no no!" bill complained summoning a total of 1...2...3... 8 more arms giving him a grand total of ten arms and an angry read eye. he then proceeded to punch the shit out of the shack before getting hit in the eye with an t-rex mouth and tearing apart his eye. 

"ahh! my eye! do you have any idea how long it takes to regenerate that?!" bill exclaims upset, floating to who knows where. 

then all of the important people in the shack get launched towards fear-a-mid while Mabel giggles like a madman and everybody else deploys their sweaters.

oh, this is my cue huh? I guess I have to make sure that they can't come up with some amazing plan to stop us. 

soon they crash to the floor right in front of the throne and look at it will mortified eyes. 

"Man, it looks even worse up close..." dipper says to be followed up by Mabel using her grappling hook. 

"I've got great uncle ford! he's golden!" Mabel exclaims "but not in a good way!" 

"Great! grab him and let's get out of here!" stan exclaims. 

"But how are we going to unfreeze them?" dipper asks concerned looking around the towering throne of people.

"Oh, it's simple!" I state, in my full outfit, walking up to them from behind and holding Loki and petting him. "Just pull-out mayor Taylor and the whole thing will come crashing down, I would know I helped set this bad baby up after all."

"Thank you-" dipper says before everybody turns around in shock. "Who?!"

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