Shot clock | Book 2 in USC series

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟑.

" Shots! Shots! Shots!"  Gillian, one of Ashanti's closest friends yells from the bartop.

" I think I might sit this round out," I announced, joining Ayanna on the couch.

" I was out two rounds ago," she laughed and handed me a water bottle.

My eyes scanned the room, taking note of the ransacked sushi bar, the confetti streamers and wrapping paper that scattered the floor. There was spillage on the floor from when a waitress bumped into skylar and dropped a bottle of champagne. I looked to the karaoke stage where Elizabeth and the other's were taking turns drunkenly singing to Beyoncé. On the other side of the room, Ashanti's in-laws were secretly checking in on their newborns and kids for the thousandth time tonight.

I smiled as I watched them. I hoped to be that kind of mother. The kind that could barely last a few hours, let alone a few seconds without seeing or hearing their sweet little voices. I wanted to give the love that I never got from my mother to my kids. They would never have to know how it felt to be without a mother.

I wouldn't put them through that kind of pain. I couldn't.

Not when I know what it feels like to be unwanted, unloved. I wouldn't ever want my children to struggle with their relationships or speak to others about their fears and emotions like I do.

" What are you thinking about, Rhe?" Ayanna comes and sits on my lap when she comes back from the snack and dessert bar. She extended me her plate, letting me take my pick of the sweets that smelt like a toothache off of the plate.

Oh! A fried twinkie. Don't mind if I do.

" Do you think that I would be a good mother? " I asked, examining the twinkie before taking a bite. So fucking good. It was possibly better than sex.

Possibly...

Ayanna whipped her head towards me. " Are you pregnant already?"

My eyes widened as a piece of twinkie went down the wrong pipe. Ayanna gently patted my throat as my eyes started to water from the violent coughing fit that I was having. Thankfully, everyone was entertaining themselves and clueless to my near brush with death.

" Uh-" I coughed, patting my chest as she reached for my water. " N-not pregnant. There is no bun baking in this oven and there won't be anytime soon."

Ayanna lifted a brow as if she were debating whether or not to believe me. I couldn't blame her. If the roles were reversed and she asked me that question, I would assume that she was pregnant too. " I just think that being in the same city as her is taking a slight toll on me. And seeing them," I motioned to the woman who now took up space at the bar. " How they are practically ready to bolt and go home to their children, is making me wonder if I can be that for my future children."

Ayanna frowns and extends her hand, rubbing my shoulder in a comforting manner. " I think that you are going to make a great mother one day, Rhegan."

" How do you know?" I asked her.