Book two
Rhegan Clarke:
A girl who has everything but struggles
to grasp the one thing she truly wants.
" I miss you and I love you so fucking much that it hurts. But it hurts even more to be without you. It hurts that I pushed you away because of...
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Rhegan
The only sound in the office was the clacking of the pendulum that sat on Dr. Green's desk.
Her office wasn't bland and boring like I expected. It was quite fun with vibrant pops of color, patterns, and plants filling the space, making it more lively. Her floor to ceiling windows allowed for the sun to shine through, I was sure that there was some protective coating on the glass because I wasn't getting third degree burns.
It was a bright and sunny day today. The weather was nice and yet, I couldn't shake the dark and gloomy cloud that had been hanging over my head for the past week. It represented how I felt about life at this moment— I was utterly miserable.
And I could only blame myself.
Dr. Green clicked her pen once more and scribbled onto her notepad as I shifted on the couch. " What are you writing?" I asked, intrigued yet annoyed at the same time.
Other than our introductions, I hadn't said a word. Maybe this was a waste of her time but I was paying her good money to sit and gather my thoughts until I worked up the courage to be vulnerable with a stranger. What could she have been writing with little to nothing to work with?
" Just some observations," she looks up from her notepad with a small smile.
What the fuck was there to observe when I haven't said a peep. I believe that I have a good resting bitch face. I was positive that she'd only observed that and a mixture of boredom.
" You seem very tense, Rhegan," she states the obvious."Is there anything that you would like to share to make this feel like a safe space for you?"
I picked at my nail beds, an unhealthy habit that I had dropped, but that's the thing about habits, no matter how hard you try to drop them, you always find yourself picking them back up.
" I'm debating whether or not to tell you that I don't want to be here but that would be rude."
Dr. Green chuckles. " It's your money and time. I am here for whatever you need," she says in a soft and calm voice that kind of soothes the cluster of nerves that have been forming since I walked into this room.
I stayed quiet, still picking at my nail beds until they were raw and bloody.
Dr. Green pushes up her glasses frames and sets her own and notepad down. " Look Rhegan, I'm here for you if you want to talk or sit in silence for the length of our sessions. Whatever makes you comfortable."
I studied Dr.Green as she sat patiently, waiting for me to open every can of worms that shaped and molded me into the person that I am now. She was young, late twenties, early thirties maybe. Her slicked back hair, neat and not a hair out of place paired with her glasses, gave off the typical therapist vibes.
Yet, she showed up to work in sweats and a pair of dunks.
Definitely wasn't your typical therapist.
" Have you ever made the same fuck-up twice?" I found the courage to ask after a few more beats of silence.
