"I'll always wait for you" (Oikawa x Fem!reader) Sequel to "My First Love"

22. The first day since...

I did think about what Ena said. And for the rest of the month, I restricted myself from texting Yugata. Texting him to come see me at a random place would be like a crime to Tooru, almost like the one when I didn't tell him about me going to see my parents' murderer so we could arrest him. I also thought of that, but when we realize the hidden advantage, which is to be freed from something intense and destroying, we have no choice but to accept the inconvenient as well, which is to show ourselves to the danger unarmed, fragile and as a victim, unless we become the bad guy. I had the police at that time and this time I have my voice. I can use it and then maybe he will understand, but I remember Ena's words... is it really worth it? If there were another way, will this one mean nothing? It might be the case, but it isn't my primary purpose if I were to decide to talk to him. All I would need to do would be to take my phone, open it, find his number and send him a message. And for all I know, no one will be able to stop me. And if I told no one about the encounter I would have the day after, no one would be able to stop me, but am I able to go through all these steps? The answer is no. I would need him to text me first if I wanted my plan to succeed, but will it make him more obsessed with me, or would it make me more strong about my decision? Basically, that's what my mind has been going through since Ena and Irana came to my house. I've been lying in bed, thinking about this all day for a whole week and more, and I still can't decide myself, because if I still think about it, it means I haven't decided to not text him.

Well, anyway, it's 10 am and I decide to get up from my bed. I take a shower, eat and do the summer homework that has been given to us. I'm sat at the table, on the balcony, protected from the sun by the big parasol that my uncle newly bought. The birds' song, the wind making the green leaves of the trees dance, making their own song with it, the squirrels walking or running on the power lines, the sound of the windows and doors of my neighbors opening and closing, the delicious smell of meat, the joyous sound of party, the screams of the children pushing themselves in the pool, the splashing. It is all I wanted to live, but here I am, doing my homework, distracted by the neighborhood, in complete depression, trying to find a way out of it. Well, let me tell you, it is no fun.

The next thing I hear is another door opening, but it's my uncle's house one. The one that leads to the balcony. I expected my brother to come tease me with more stuff he so loves to tease me about, but what is my surprise to see my uncle take a seat with a beer in hand. It reminded me of how my dad used to do the same. It made me smile.

"How do you like this?" he asked me.

I came back to reality.

"Like what?"

"Being outside instead of inside"

"I guess it gives me a chance to feel the air differently, that's for sure"

"But it distracts you from what you're supposed to be doing, isn't it?"

"Yeah..." I confess, nodding nervously.

"I'd rather see you distracted, outside, trying to do your homework than to see you, depressed, in your bed, all day. Stay here, please, help my own mental health. I hate to see you badly mentally injured like this"

"Believe me, uncle, I hate to see me like this, too, but I'm gonna get out of it soon, I promise"

"You better keep that promise, because if you're not out of it soon, I'm taking you to see a therapist"

"I know"

"Take care of yourself for once, Y/n"

"That's what I'm doing"

"No. You have something on your mind. Just do it if it can help you get better. Even if I do not know what it is, I believe you need it, because you wouldn't be overthinking it"