Sarah Paulson Short Stories

February 19th 2023

Billie Dean X Reader
Warning: Depression, SH
Billie hasn't seen Reader in days and finds out why.

My eyes were still shut when I heard a knock at the door.

My mind wandered, it could have been the landlord. I stayed in the position hoping the person who disappear.

I was beginning to doze off again before a voice sounded.

"Y/n? I know you're in there, you're car is outside", it was Billie. My girlfriend that I had wished would forget about me for her own good.

I remained still. She continued, "Honey, it's been days". I hadn't been tracking the time but I had stopped answering my phone.

I was too exhausted to move, my bed was comfortable and it was the second best solution to how I was feeling.

"I'm coming in", panic struck through me. She was going to walk in and be upset, disgusted.

I had cloths sprawled out everywhere, dishes and cans of energy drinks littered my floor.

I knew it was getting bad, I had been having a hard time and I avoided addressing it until this. Maybe I was too far gone this time.

Billie appeared in the doorway of my bedroom bringing me out of a daze.

Her eyes viewed the room taking in the mess. She slowly walked in dodging the trash.

She pulled open my curtains letting in the light. Immediately I pulled over my cover and groaned.

"Y/n, you have to get up", she had a motherly tone. I groaned again.

She approached the bed yanking away the cover angrily. But her face softened when she saw me.

"When was the last time you ate, or bathed?", she questioned. I finally adjusted the the light, and shrugged.

"Come on baby", she moved me from the bed trying her best to get me to cooperate.

I stood, I felt faint like I'd fall over if she let go of me. She led me to the bathroom.

As I passed by the mirror I saw a glimpse of myself. My eyes had sunken in, my lips were dry and chapped, my hair was a knotted mess, I looked as if I was a ghost.

Billie sat me on the side of the tub, "Can I take off your clothes?". I was suddenly reminded of the cuts underneath my sleeves and pants.

I hesitated, but I didn't want her to catch on. She knew I had this problem. I nodded.

She lifted my hoodie up over my head. I winced as my wounds stuck to the fabric.

She was quick to catch on, even before she actually saw them.

"When did you do these?", she gently held my arm careful to not touch it. I stayed silent before breaking down into sobs.

"Shh shh, it's okay sweetheart", she reached into the cabinet to pull out the first aid kit.

She rubbed an alcohol swab over them trying her best to clean it. Her eyes watched mine looking for a reaction but I was just so numb.

I was stuck looking away with tears falling down my cheeks.

She finished, not bothering to bandage them since I was gonna take a bath. Her hand cupped my face, "I'm gonna take off your pants now, ok?".

More tears flooded my eyes as she slid them off. This time she stayed silent as she cleaned the other ones.

The quiet began to consume me,my nerves finally got the best of me. "I'm so sorry Billie, I knew I was getting worse. All your hard work, I'm sorry", everything inside of me unraveled.

I got so lost in my own sobs, my hands began to hit the sides of my head. It was a stim I had tried my best to prevent but now I couldn't.

I hadn't realized Billie grabbing my arms roughly until one of my cuts reopened.

She was talking me down. "Y/n, take a breath, take a moment please". Within a few minutes I was too exhausted to continue, the blonde reached to start the hot water.

She sighed and helped me into the tub. She was working fast to get me to clean myself as she could see I was getting overwhelmed again.

"Honey rinse your hair and we'll be done", she grabbed a towel to get me out. She slowed down to cover my cuts not forgetting the proper care they needed.

"Ok, come on", she helped me back to the bed and grabbed the phone. "Mexican, Chinese, or Indian?", my stomach sunk at the thought of eating.

She waited, "You have to eat something, even a salad, anything". I began to bite the skin around my fingers.

She pulled my hand away, she hated when I did that. "Indian" I whispered.

She ordered before starting to gather up piles of trash. Guilt filled me as she rushed around to clean my bedroom, only stopping to check my expression.

After awhile she laid clothes beside me. "Try to get dressed please", she left the room to get the food.

I managed to get everything on just as she came back into view.

"Listen, I'm gonna stay here for the next for days-", "but-". That was the first word I really said and she cut me off.

"No, this isn't a negotiation. We are gonna clean up, and talk about what's next. We'll work at your pace, no matter how long it takes". She opened the food and immediately lifted a fork to my mouth.

"At least eat a few bites", I obliged. "Thank you, I know it's hard baby, but it will be worth it when it's over".

"I love you", "I love you too, another bite please".

Word Count: 957

I know this is rushed and I'm not posting that often but hopefully somebody will feel better when they read this.

Xoxo 💜💜 SssarahPaulson