Classica: Under Eternal Mirage

UEM 13: The Hellwind

UEM 13: The Hellwind

It was just my second day of class, but it felt like I'd been studying here for a year now.

Being exhausted physically wasn't new to me as I've experienced working my ass off for three days straight with only minimal break time periods at Camellia Healing Station. But this new routine at the university will kill me in no time. I feel like I'm barely surviving.

I heaved a long sigh and shook my head to push away my thoughts. There's no use in complaining about how tough my university life is for me. I need this. And I'm sure I'll get used to it after some time.

I just really can't help but miss working as an assistant healer.

"What do you think about my healing skills, Min? I know it's my sub-mago but I'm not quite sure if Ma'am Velen will like my performance. Nakakakaba. Pakiramdam ko ay pagagalitan niya ako."

I was brought back to reality when Maori spoke. She worriedly looked at me after finishing healing the tiny cut she did on her thumb.

I curved a positive smile and tapped her back lightly. "Don't worry, you improved a lot. I'm sure hindi ka naman niya pagagalitan kung hindi siya mas-satisfy. She'll help us enhance our healing skills," panatag ko sa kanya.

I wanted to laugh at what I said. Although it's true that Maori won't be scolded just like what she's imagining, I know that it won't be applicable to me. Alam kong mainit ang dugo niya sa 'kin. I freaking broke a law. Siguradong mas magiging malupit siya sa 'kin. Idagdag pa na kaaway ko ang anak niya.

I slightly flinched due to surprise when she suddenly hugged me from my side. Nang magtama ang paningin namin ay nakitaan ko ng saya ang kanyang mga mata.

"Noong bumagsak tayo three years ago, sobrang nalungkot ako noon. Maliban sa nadamay ka sa ginawa ni Cao, I know how much you dreamed of studying here," she smiled and paused for a second, "But I guess we're really meant to be here. Our sixteen-year-old selves will be so proud of us," she continued as she slowly withdrew her hug.

I suddenly felt a lump in my throat after hearing her words. Memories from the past rapidly played in my head as if they were just waiting to be remembered. As if all those things happened to us just yesterday.

A lot of things have changed to me from that very moment. It scarred me for life and I'm not even sure if those events really happened... if those events were true. Pero gaya ng naisip ko noon, totoo man iyon o hindi, masakit pa rin. Kung tutuusin ay pwede ko namang kalimutan na iyon. Ngunit may malaking parte sa aking hindi pa rin matanggap, at sa totoo lang ay hindi ko rin maintindihan.

Maybe because for the first time in my life, I felt powerless. I felt like a failure. Na lahat naman ng gusto ko ay nakukuha ko mula pagkabata ko, pero simpleng pagpasa sa pagsusulit na matagal kong pinaghandaan ay hindi ko man lang nagawa. And it's just hard to swallow, knowing how I just watched those witches wrong me before my eyes. I felt betrayed. It was not fair. I never even heard an explanation from them. They never apologized.

Maybe it was a humbling experience for me as well. Or perhaps, failing the examination was part of it so I could lose myself and meet Letizia and entertain the ridiculous things she told me. Para magkaroon ako ng oras pagkaabalahan ang mga pinagsasabi niya.

Maybe every part of it was an illusion. Maybe it was all fabricated so we can reach this point. Maybe in the real world, I was never really wronged.

Ngayong nag-aaral na ako sa pinapangarap kong eskwelahan noon na may bitbit na ibang rason, hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman ko. Sure, I'm happy that I passed. Kahit halos bawian ako ng buhay sa practical examination at hindi ako naghirap sa written examination ay nababalot pa rin ng tuwa ang puso ko. It was a great feeling.