Classica: Under Eternal Mirage

UEM 15: Souro

UEM 15: Souro

To be on top, there are certain things you must meet. There are things you have to possess. Lacking one will make you mediocre.

Things such as talent, ability, intellect, wealth, influence, determination, and luck are the primary factors to achieve such a place.

And of course, make sure that there's kindness in your heart. Securing a high spot without it will shake what you've built. It'll make you stumble... it'll make you fall into misery and darkness.

But not everyone has that goal in mind. There are some who just want to get through a phase... to move forward catching up with those who are trying hard as well.

Some just really want to survive.

And I'd like to believe that I'm one of those individuals who are content with being just like everyone else. I just want to see what's the end of this and decide what I'll do next.

But of course, who am I kidding, right? I'm born into a wealthy and powerful family. I was blessed with great abilities. I'm not that stupid, either and my determination to get things done... can sometimes cause destruction. Also, I believe that despite having numerous unsatisfying moments in my life... I just know deep inside that I'm still lucky to have all the things that some people fight for all their lives. I'm way more fortunate than those who are not privileged like me.

I belong to the high class of society.

And if there's something I don't have, then that's kindness. Pure kindness... I always have something hidden in my sleeves. I always opt for what's easier even if it's not a morally right thing to do. As long as it'll bring me to the next step, then I'll grab that opportunity no matter what.

That's who I am. I guess if there's kindness residing in my heart, then it's only in a small amount. It's already fading... and dying without anyone knowing.

And probably I'm just thinking about these things because of my frustration at the moment. I don't know. I don't really know anymore.

"Yes, Maori Chironna?" tawag ni Miss Luna sa katabi kong halos magpakain na sa lupa nang marinig ang pangalan.

I heard my classmates sigh in relief, grateful that they weren't called in the front.

Ikinuyom ko ang kaliwang palad ko at mabagal na ibinaba ang kanang kamay na kanina pang nakabitin sa ere, pilit na binubura sa sistema ang pagkapahiya.

I've been trying to volunteer ever since this class started but our instructor hadn't looked in my direction. I'm certain that she's doing it on purpose and intentionally ignoring me.

I'm just so sure because I was the only one who was raising my hand but she kept on calling my other classmates who obviously do not want to volunteer.

Like, okay. I get it that she's probably more focused on bringing out a student's confidence rather than choosing someone who already has confidence like me.

But still, it's wrong to act like I'm non-existential here. It's ruining my willingness to try whatever she's asking us to do.

At hindi ko rin alam sa sarili ko kung bakit masyado akong active ngayon. Pagod na pagod ako kagabi dahil sa training at madaling araw na nang makatulog ako. Ilang oras lang ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon para magpahinga at tumulak na agad sa main mago class.

Also, my core feels so much better... I don't even know why. I feel like I can do everything right now. I'm so energized as if I had a good amount of rest.