~•Sorrowful love•~ Namjin

15. Revelation

Kim Namjoon.
~pov~

"Ok now...um I don't know how I'm supposed to explain all these kinds of things you know... But...guess that I'll just go for it."

I was nervous. I had never done anything like this ever before. I had never ever told about my past to anyone. It haunted me everytime I myself thought about it.

"Hey Joon...uh, can I call you that?" Jin looked up at me and asked.

I smiled.

"Of course you can call me that. You're my best friend now." I replied.

"Look, it's ok, alright. Calm down. We're fine. Ok. I'm all ears. So, take your time and tell me things slowly." He said.

God...that's why I think I'm falling for this boy...

"Um...ok. Hm... So, I had a really rough past. I lived a good life. That was until my so called "sweet 16". But turns out it wasn't really sweet at all. I lived with my parents and my little sister. She was the most precious thing to me in this whole damn shitty world. She would fight me on the stupidest of things but I would willingly sacrifice myself just to see that beautiful angelic face again."

I was crying now... Maybe sobbing.

"Joon! Joon, control yourself! Please! Namjoon please!!! I don't want you to get sick again!"

The worry was written on Jin's face.

"I'm sorry Jin. So... yeah. Um well, my dad wasn't particularly on a really good behaviour towards me, my sis, or my mom. I was my mom and my sister's comfort place. I loved my two ladies. However...there was more to my dad, than met the eye. He....he was involved with illegal stuff. Pro'lly had many cases on himself. Then one day, some people stormed into the house, turned everything upside down, asking for money. Dad couldn't pay. It was....100 million Won Jin. 100 million Won.

The thugs warned that if money wasn't payed in two weeks, they'd kill my dad. I got angry. I was enraged at how he could do this to us. To our family. To my Mom. So I fought. I argued with him. But things went wrong. And the argument that started on words ended up in fire.

I still remember you know. That one horrible worst fucking mistake I made that ruined my life.

We fought, and dad hit me with a knife that hit my hand and it started bleeding. I was getting dazed, but I wouldn't leave that man. So I hit everything that came in my hands. My mom and sister were holding me back, but I wasn't giving up. The last thing that I threw at my dad made me regret my existence.

It was a candle stand Jin. With burning candles.

I threw it towards dad, but it missed, and instead, flew up towards the curtains and ..... *Sobbing* ... and soon enough the house was on fire...

There was too much smoke. And everything was blurry. I could hear fire alarms and in between those, my sister yelling for help. She was under the kitchen table. Crying, scared. And she only reached for my hand not for dad's who was nearer to her. And she only said one thing to me...

"Oppa...I love and trust you."

Her voice still echoes in my head. But when I reached out for her hand, the ceiling collapsed onto her, burying her underneath.

And then, I just blacked out and opened my eyes in a hospital...

Yoongi hyung was standing in the doorway, talking to the doctor's and came running to me as soon as I woke up. When I asked him what happened after I blacked out, he didn't say anything for a while. After half an hour or so, he told me this-

'Namjoon, I know that this will be a lot to take in for you but... I'm sorry. The firemen say that you were the only one whose body could be recovered. Alive. Yo-your mother...a-and your sister...they could not...could not make it... I'm sorry Joon. Your mother was dead by the time the fire was extinguished, and your...your sister, she was on limited breaths and by the time they got her out...she...'

He didn't say anything more. I knew what he wanted to say, but I didn't ask him to go on. The death of my sister affected him just as much as it affected me because the three of us always spent a great time together and mom would always make us cool things to eat. Those were the fond memories that Yoongi hyung had made only with us. We were his only friends...

That's why Yoongi is a bit harsh on everyone. So...yeah.
T

hat's my story Jin.

Wait- are you CRYING!???
JIN? WHAT'S WRONG?"

By the time I finished, Jin was a complete mess. Tears were streaming but he controlled himself. I think that's what he was trying to do.

"Oh Joon.... You've been through so much..." He finally stopped crying and replied.

But this time the same horrible feeling washed over me. The thing Yoongi hyung calls "guilt".

"Jin... Come to think of it...you should stay away from me! I'm a monster! I'm nothing but a fucking MONSTER JIN! I KILLED MY MOTHER, I KILLED MY SISTER!! And that's why you should stay away from me!"

With that, I rushed towards the bathroom and locked it from the inside, shutting out Jin's caring shouts from the outside.

I should've died...