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"Renesmee, you little brat, get off." When Delilah said she liked the child, it might have been a slight exaggeration.... what she actually liked was the idea of a prodigy. Someone she could teach to be the mini version of her.
Unfortunately with Edward, Bella and even Rosalie around, that wasn't possible. The three were like prodigy blockers, never allowing Delilah to pass her amazing social skills over to the semi child, always hovering somewhere nearby.
Normally Delilah would hate their hovering. She was an adult, she could look after a kid without teaching it how to say C-U-N-T...... obviously she would start with the basics, like D-I-C-K.
However, right now she was desperate for a pale person to be stood a few feet away.
Renesmee had taken it upon herself to try on Delilah's favourite heels of the week. It was hell on earth, "Do you know how much those fuc - freaking heels cost? Practically more than Mariah Carey's legs." Delilah ripped the shoe out of Renesmee's hand, not caring if the girl toppled over slightly. "If there is even so much as a scratch on these you will have no vocal cords by 9am."
"But it's 08:58 right now." Came a voice from the doorway.
"Well, I'm a quick worker. They didn't call me 'Dashing Delilah' for nothing."
Bella moved into the room, her eyes widening as they darted from the shoe to Renesmee, how would she explain the missing vocal cords to Charlie if there really was a scratch? "No body called you that."
The brunette snorted as she dropped her shoe to the floor. No marks from Renesmee, possibly a mark from Delilah's actions - but she was so over them shoes by now, they'd lost their appeal after having kid germs on them. "How would you know? You were there what, 3 months, before getting impaled by that ice coc-" Delilah's eyes quickly flicked to Renesmee, "C-O-C-K?"
Obviously, Bella was still not impressed by Delilah's choice of spelling, "Ren, Jacob's waiting for you outside. Why don't you go wait with him?"
No surprise, Renesmee practically ran out of the room. That whole situation still gave Delilah the creeps, "Do you not think that's still a bit fucking weird? Even the whole 'it wasn't you I was attracted to, it was the unborn and not conceived vampire baby you would eventually have'..... I don't know, Isabella, it gives me the hibbie jibbies."
"Can you please not?" Bella held a hand up to silence her best friend, "You make me feel sick when you talk about it."
"Oh no," Delilah held a hand to Bella's stomach, "Hope you aren't pregnant again, that ordeal caused me a whole lot of stress last time. I am not doing that again."
While Delilah was living in Whistler she had matured a lot, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to turn every conversation back round to herself. There was still no better topic.
"Don't be stupid, I'm not pregnant again."
"What a relief," Delilah let Bella bat her hands away from the not pregnant stomach, "I don't think I can handle anymore Edward semen insects running around."
