Shape of the Sun

Collective memory

Forty minutes earlier.

He hadn't entered this room in eighteen years. It was quite interesting, Bhairav thought as his fingers trailed the leather of the armchair and his eyes took in the bookshelves that had dust settled on them and their content.

The study's condition hadn't been a result of the staff's negligence. He had been the one to instruct Ritesh that no one bother to clean here perhaps in the hopes that it was a reminder of the dust that had blinded his eyes the day he had recognized his first failure as a father.

Bhairav didn't want to remember that day but silence had a way of bending one to its will. But the silence was not the only one to blame. A part of Bhairav had begun to think that perhaps, eighteen years was too long. The events of that time had been forgotten and perhaps, this was only a bandaid to the anguish that had threatened to destroy him and his family, but it was undeniable that Raju was moving on ahead well enough.

Raju was building a family of his own without a hitch. He was successful and had done well for himself despite all his worries, many as they were. Then again, how could he not worry? How could a father not be afraid given the darkness he had come face to face with at that time?

In this moment, Bhairav was transported to the defining moment those years ago. 

He had been uneasy after seeing his child unhinge and react differently than expected. If Raju was lying as concluded, wasn't there meant to be guilt? Rather he was showing signs of indifference at a rate that not only troubled his psychologist but he and Nirali. It was like every second they looked away, a part of their son vanished, leaving behind a child that seemed less and less emotionless. Something was leaving them and both of them became panicked, opting to retrace their steps and find out when they had gone wrong.

They had been in this same room at that time. They had been standing, the landline in the center of the table, still just like the weight of the dread that fell upon them as they waited for the PI to call back with the information on Eloise. The day was barely over and this added to the fear of being in uncharted waters as both recounted the stern warnings that the doctors they had met had given them after soliciting advice.

According to them, it was too risky and not worth it to indulge Raju any longer. He was just a child who could be easily confused so why was there so much fuss on a rape kit? Those were expensive and it didn't bode well if the news were to get out that the Reddy patriarch was inquiring on such a thing.

Nirali had motioned to him, hesitant. The hem of her sari was tightly wound around an index finger, something that she only did when nervous.

"Are we doing the right thing, Bhairav? What if Rajkumar was confused?"

"But what if he wasn't? Are we going to allow this to destroy our relationship with our son? Nothing else is more important than this." he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "We just have to be a little more patient." Bhairav knew that he looked calm and he had to be since Nirali was jittery every five seconds. No one could imagine how tense he really was inside, hoping that the PI would call back negative.

The long silence enveloping the study threatened to swallow them. Nirali's voice was small against the backdrop.

"Do you want some tea? I can make some for both of us."

Her husband nodded, grateful. His throat felt dry even though it was not certain it was due to the heat. It was freezing outside.

"Please do that. Thank you. Nirali?"

"Yes? Do you want something else?" She was looking at him, confused about his actions. His call had stopped her from leaving. Bhairav shook his head in response.

"No, I don't need anything else. I just want to say thank you for staying up. I know this is quite late for you."

Nirali smiled wryly at his words, a hand reaching out to pat his shoulder.

"Rajkumar is my son too. It's what I should do. Let me go and get some tea, okay?"

"Okay."

She withdrew her hand and made to leave. But Nirali had hardly done so when a crisp and clear metallic sound like the chimes of a small bell filled the room. She hurried towards the landline but Bhairav easily got there quicker, in closer proximity to the table. He uneasily pressed the speakerphone button.

"Yes Ehsan, do you have any news for us? Nirali is listening in too."

A deep, grainy voice came out of the in-built speaker.

"No problem, sir. I have some very serious information for both you and madam. Are you both ready?"

He briefly exchanged glances with Nirali before refocusing his attention on the landline. The hem of her sari was a mess now. 

"Yes. Tell us everything you found."

"Alright, sir...sir? Sir, are you okay?"

Huh? Why was Ehsan speaking differently than he remembered? Bhairav shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was then he realized he wasn't alone in the study. Ritesh was standing halfway between the door and the desk and he looked worried.

"Sir, are you okay? I have been looking all over for you and I found you here spaced out." he looked around the dusty room, a constipated look on his face, "If you had informed me earlier sir that you wanted to use this study today, I would have it cleaned immediately. If you permit me, I will call in someone to..."

"No, no don't worry about it." Bhairav said, dismissing his concerns with the wave of a hand. Then he placed it back down on his knee, tapping in a familiar motion. It was as if doing so would cement his orientation back to the present. As he did, he recalled Ritesh's words.

"Why are you looking for me? Do I have an important guest?" His voice had a trace of concern. 

Ritesh nodded.

"Yes, sir. Young master Prithvi has come to see you. He looks quite agitated."

"Prithvi?" He asked to be sure. It was unlike his eldest to come without a prior call. And he looked agitated?

"Yes, sir."

"How long has he been waiting?" Bhairav rose from the chair as he asked.

"Around thirty-five minutes, sir. Do I call him in?"

"No, no. I'll meet him in the study I frequent. Prepare some light snacks." Thirty-five minutes was no joke.

"I already had sir, but the young master refused to touch them." Ritesh explained while opening the door wide for Bhairav.

"Oh?" The other man's expression added a touch of seriousness, "I should go to him then. It must be serious if he isn't eating."

"Yes, sir."

Bhairav only hoped that whatever news Prithvi had was a good one that would lift his spirits. He had never heard before that hopes weren't viable currency anymore.