Up, up and away [A Larry Stylinson Fanfic AU]

Chapter 49 : Remorse

Early Note: I'd really be thankful if you read the after-note for once, because I'd hate to post author's note as a chapter and disappoint you guys as it disappoints me when author's posts them. So, please, for me. Read it. You don't have to do the rest, just read it for real, not scroll past it like most usually intend to do.

Okay, serious time over, please play the song on the side to add that little affect on this little erm drama time. I know none of them are in a new relationship yet, I'm not sure about that part yet, so for now, enjoy this little update xx

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'I hate you'

'You should've seen the look on your face when I fucked you senseless!"

'We're over."

It's funny how the life I had always wanted came back to bite me in the butt when I least expected it. What was I trying to prove to my mum? What was I trying to accomplish? All of those rationalities and rebellious thoughts were already beyond far for me to reach, the moment I met Louis.

They say that true love only existed in movies, and I didn't believe them. Can you believe that? I was so fucking stupid to fall-in-love with the last and first person I could ever have trusted, and I denied that theory. How fucking gullible of me. Even though from the moment I met him, I knew he was no good for me as I him. A good-for-nothing liar that only wanted to break my heart.

But in my defense, I never wanted this. I never wanted to fall head-over-heels.. But it just happened, and the worst part of it was, I let it happen. I let my personal bubble open up again, to be vulnerable, to be weak, and let fate decide what might or might not happen between us... And I fucking let it happen. I felt like the most bloody idiot in the entire universe, and the most excruciating part, though, is I was a didn't regret any of it, no matter how much I wanted to.

I mean, I should've known that he never loved me all along, but my love for him blinded me from that fact. I let myself be mesmerized with his dizzying cerulean eyes that I could easily loose myself in, and a mildly-annoying bubbly personality that I never knew I needed. What's worst was that I fell heads first, when I didn't mean to. Was it my choice for that to happen? It's funny, cause it was. I fell, and cracks were made beneath the surface, and I sunk in faster than my mind could process. All because I let myself fall for him.

It's been a roughly an hour or two since I awoke in my bed, my old one, with the flower-scented pillows, and predictable reality. Time seemed to be irrelevant at my wake, and I'm definitely not planning to leave my room any time soon, so they shouldn't even bother.. I wouldn't.

I had my phone clutched tightly beneath my fingertips, with Liam's name, and number written in bolding, with my thumb slightly hovering the call button. Even I was surprised when I saw this. My contacts remained the same, with all but one missing, and it's stupid how that was the first thing I noticed. Zayn, Niall, and Liam, and my mum was still there, but his wasn't, and I felt a surge of anger bubble up from beneath my stomach.

How dare he?! How dare he erased only his own, and not the others? It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that he chose to taunt me, leaving them the way it is, and not fully changing every little bit. I bet he kept it there to further twist the knife in the wound, to make all this pain unbearably unforgettable, so that he knew that he had permanently ruined me with such a simple notion, and didn't really care much for it.

It was easy to ignore, to simply shun my eyes away, to forget that all this has ever happened, and that I never knew Louis Tomlinson, I didn't run away, and that I was Anne Cox's perfect child... But the dull ache that remained in my chest chose another path, and that's when I broke.