Evan's POV
Its been 3 months since I left. Let me rephrase that. Its been 3 months since she kicked me out. Its been 3 months of sleepless nights. I know what I did was so wrong but it felt right. Im so messed up, I love Y/N so much. I don't know why I did what I did. She wouldn't let me explain. Well she tried to but I was too stupid to reply. Im currently at the Hotel Cortez. Since Y/N kicked out I have no where to go. She keeps ignoring my calls and texts. I desperately need to see her face one more time. Even if its her slamming the door in mine. I don't love Emma, I'm over her. I picked up my phone and dialed Y/N's phone number.
"Hello?" I heard her voice through the phone
"Y/N?" Instantly she hung up on me. I deserve it.
I deserve everything she's been giving me for 3 months. What happened replays over and over in my head everyday. When she told me to go away my heart shattered into a million pieces. I cheated on her with my ex. Thats as low as it could get. But i needed her. I decided I needed to speak to Y/N, face to face.
Your POV
I'm such an idiot. No I'm not I did the right thing. I don't know anymore. Evan hurt me so bad, and nothing could ever change that. Was I not good enough for him? He called me a few minutes ago. I didn't check for caller ID so I just answered. Him saying my name caused tears to my eyes. I love him so much. And its so weird to say that i still do. But he doesn't love me.
There was a knock on my front door. I wiped my tears and looked through the peep hole. It was Evan. I sat back down on the sofa. Hopefully he'll just leave but knowing Evan he might stay here over night.
Evan's POV
She didn't answer. I knew she was home since her car was in the drive way. I rang the door bell again. Still no answer. I started to knock on the door loud enough so you'd hear me wherever you were in the house. My phone vibrated. I look at the screen.
"If u don't leave rn I'm calling the police." Y/N texted me.
I rang the door bell again. I kept ringing it. Then door opened a bit.
"Y/N?"
The door opened more. It was wide enough for me to see her whole face. She had been crying. And it hurt that I may be the reason for those tears.
She didn't say anything she just stared at the ground.
"Can we please talk?"
She didn't say anything. She opened the door and motioned for me to come inside.
I walked inside her house as she closed and locked the door. It was beyond awkward. I could tell she was uncomfortable.
"What do you want?" She said finally making eye contact with me.
"I want you Y/N. I want you back. Please."
She sniffled. She always did that when she was about to cry.
"Im not here to do deny anything. I know what I did was wrong. And I never wanted to hurt y-"
"So what did you mean to do Evan? Sleeping with your ex girlfriend is supposed to make me feel good?" She said, her voice cracking.
"No Y/N. Please just listen. I made a mistake but I love you."
At this point tears were streaming down her face.
"If you love me so much. Why was it so easy for you to hurt me so bad?"
"Y/N please. Can you listen to me?"
She didn't say a word she just sat down on the sofa.
"I never slept with Emma. I don't even know why she was here. She showed up crying. I let her in and we talked about what was going on. She had personal issues. We talked and she kissed me.."
"So thats it Evan, it wasn't your fault?" She said
"Let me finish. Im not gonna lie. I kissed her back. I fought it at first but yes I kissed her back. It got intimate, but I swear I didn't have sex with her. My penis never entered any whole of hers. Before it got to that level, I pushed her away and said it wasn't right. I asked her to leave. I walked her outside and stood on the front step. She turned around and she kissed me. And yes I kissed her back. I know I shouldn't have done it. I'll regret it everyday of my life Y/N."
"So you expect me to just take you back now?"
"Trust me Y/N. I still love you. I'd go above and beyond for you. Id starve if it meant you could eat. Id die if it meant you could live. I made a mistake and I'm sorry. You're the only one i love. I know you might not forgive me, but i needed you to know this. No matter what happens, I'll stand by you. I will love you. Forever and always "
Your POV
My heart longed for his touch. But my head said he was bad news. Me and Evan have been dating for 8 months. It would be stupid to throw it all away because he messed up. But he hurt me. It wasn't like he was drunk. He was fully sober and new what he was doing. His side of the story still revealed he intentionally kissed her back.
"Evan. I could never trust you again. Id rather be in s healthy relationship then one that id have to worry when ever we aren't together. "
I promised myself I wouldn't cry. But here i am crying. He grabbed my hand and a rush went through my body. This is what I needed, but I just can't have it.
"Y/N. I know it would be hard to gain your trust back but i can do it. And i will."
"Evan i love you. But you hurt me so much. But yet i still feel like i need you. And I need to stop needing you...I can't have you."
Evans face dropped as tears began to stream down his face.
"Y/N?" He whimpered causing my heart to ache.
I stood and walked towards my door, history repeating itself.
"Y/N please don't do this. I can't live without you, I love you so much words can't explain it. I'd die without, please don't walk away from me like this." Evan cried as he walked towards me. I cried and wiped the tears from my face.
"E-Evan we will n-never be t-the same again."
"It doesn't matter baby, we can get through it together." Evan said letting his tears run down his cheek.
"I can't, I have to put myself first. I won't let myself go through this again."
Evan put his face in his hands as he stood in front of me.
I pulled his hands away from his face and pressed my lips gently onto his. I held his hands tightly, and after a few moments, I let them go.
"I love you Evan, but I can't forgive you." I said wiping my tears from my face.
I opened the door, memories flooding back to me from months before.
"Go away Evan, and don't come back."
