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As much as she tried to not think about it, her mind constantly drifted to her conversation with Sungchan earlier in the day

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As much as she tried to not think about it, her mind constantly drifted to her conversation with Sungchan earlier in the day. The part where he was talking about his father and Deiji was ignoring him.

She couldn't stop thinking about it. The aching jab of knowing the truth surfaced her heart once again. She controlled herself from speaking to her mother about it. However, it's difficult to not. And today was one of those times. Deiji was extremely bothered.

Hearing a key lock unwind, she sat up from lying down on her bed and stared towards her bedroom door; contemplating on whether to head downstairs or not.

Honestly speaking, she knew the answer she'd receive. She heard the same words leave her mothers mouth multiple times. Despite it, there was a little hope that never dissipated deep inside her heart. It made her not surrender but strive. 

Taking a deep breath, Deiji slowly took the last step on the staircase and dragged her feet towards the kitchen where she could hear the clatter of cutlery clang against one another. Spotting her mother facing her back towards her, Deiji stood far away close to the dining table. Flickering towards a box that was placed on the top of the table, Deiji tiptoed to stand taller so that she could see what it was.

A gleeful yet confused impression settled down on her upon realising that it was a box with slices of cakes of different flavours.

Twisting on her heels, Joo ri was slightly shocked to see her daughter standing there in front of her. She didn't even hear her come in. Flickering her orbs between her daughter and the cake box, she sealed her lips lightly. She knew that Deiji likes cakes, therefore she bought some.

However, Joo ri did not mention that the treat was for Deiji. Instead she remained silent. She had found it complicated to connect and speak with her daughter the way they used to when younger. Maybe because she isn't a kid anymore and is growing up. But deep down Joo ri believes that their relationship had lost its touch ages ago.

Adjusting her stance, Deiji sat at the edge of the dining table. Both hands gripping the border, she stretched her feet outwards and swiftly swung them side to side as a bundle of thoughts ran past disorderly. Screwing her orbs she clenched her jaw wondering what difference it would make.

Their relationship had always drifted apart the more questions she asked about her father. But it's not like it will come back together. So what would she lose by asking once again?

Joo ri took in her daughters discomforted look. She could tell that something was bugging her. Stepping forward she stretched her arm in order to console her. The tip of Joo ri's tongue twitched, wanting to say that Deiji can share anything with her and whenever.

But it's easier to think but not say it. She could barely remember the last time when her daughter turned towards her when something was troubling. Gradually, Joo ri believed that her daughter prefers to fix her issues alone and likes to be independent. Nonetheless, the mothers instinct of wanting to help her child never vanished. 

Sadly they don't even talk to one another. Truth is, Joo ri doesn't want it that way. She wants to sit beside her child and speak through the endless night and have fun. The sad thing is, Deiji also wishes the same but both are blind to this fact.

"Do you find it difficult to be a single parent?" Deiji finally burst out, unable to contain it in any longer. She knew exactly where this topic would lead. 

With no answers, the hope still somehow shines at the end of the tunnel and she couldn't leave it. She had to walk towards it in desire and belief that someday she may be able to reach it.

Perplexed as to where this was going, Joo ri began to debrief the situation mentally. She found it difficult to understand her own daughter, so it was hard to conclude what was about to happen. But walking the path where she finds serenity, Joo ri held back her contentment thinking that her daughter was caring for her.

She figured that Deiji was understanding the hardships that a single parent faces. It was never something that was problematic to Joo ri. She loves her daughter to bits and that was all she needed to overcome her issues; such as the struggle she went through to balance her work life with caretaking. 

Hiring a nanny back then was impossible with the financial situation that she was in. There were days she asked her brother and sister-in-law if they could look after Deiji when she had a busy schedule.

 However, Joo ri was reluctant to always rely on them seeing that her brother had his own problems to face. Joo ri also refused to put her sister-in-law under too much stress. She herself had to look after her own son. It's difficult with another extra child added on the list. Especially one that's a troublemaker.

Therefore, Deiji spent most of the time sitting on her mothers back securely tied up by the large sash. She always peacefully slept or played with toys whilst her mother worked and ran her business. Yet no matter how tired and exhausted she was, Joo ri was never discontent or burdened. All she needed was to see her baby's small giggle to melt her worries fly away. All her problems vanished and were replaced with love and sincerity. That was enough to keep her going.

Pressing her lips together, Joo ri exhaled softly. Memories of Deiji when she was baby flooded her mind. Her heart pounded with delight by just the thought of it. "No" she dearly spoke.


Deiji was devastated

Deiji was devastated

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