NEFARIOUS ○ ZHONG CHENLE

○ 33

Biting her bottom lip, Eun tak rested the back of her head on the door. She was shaking with fury. Fist tightly clenched and breaths fallen raspy.

From the other side she could hear Kun fiddling around and moving about. Taking a inhale, Eun tak cleared her throat and took a deep gulp.

She didn't regret anything she said. She wasn't going to forgive them. But then again she couldn't help but feel this awful tug in her heart for raising her voice at him. She was a hostage. Kun didn't need to keep her company while guarding her. He didn't need to give her these books when she asked. He even stopped her from starving herself.

Even though he was on the other side - an enemy, he still looked after her and made sure that she was comfortable. Sighing, she ran her hand through her hair and tucked her face into her knees that were close up to her chest.

"I didn't mean to raise my voice" she exhaled out. A scoff could be heard from him. Raising his brows, Kun let out a smirk. "It's fine honestly. I understand" however she could hear a low spirit in his voice. Before she could even question what it was, Kun continued by mumbling something under his breath. "We are human, you know?"

Picking on her nail, Eun tak furrowed her brows. "Then why did you choose to be this kind of human?" she carefully questioned. Chuckling, Kun seethed in some air as he fell into the pit of his past. 

It was evident to Eun tak that he was falling back and forth, pondering over whether he should share this piece on information with her or not. 

"Because of my father" he finally breathed out. 

Eye bulging out, Eun tak sat off the door and turned back to face it as if she was trying to talk to him directly. "Your dad sold you off?" bursting out in laughter, Kun shook his head, finding her a little simple-minded. "No, I was born into it, idiot"

Letting out a relieving exhale. His answer was no better then what she initially thought, however it was slightly more satisfying. 

Kun never really shared his thoughts to any of his members on how he actually feels about his job. Mainly because they wouldn't understand. Instead, he would be seen as weak and in a gang that is not something very well appreciated.

That possibly is the reason why Kun was willing to express his hidden emotions to Eun tak. She was just a normal person with an ordinary life. Someone who would hear him out and perhaps can show a tad bit more sympathy than anyone else in the building. "I-" stopping, Kun doubted whether she'd be happy to hear him speak a monologue. Not wanting to overshare he decided to be careful with his words. "I don't know if this is really what I ever wanted"

Eun tak was taken aback to say the least. He was forced into it. For some reason, she couldn't believe that Kun was a bad person. The way he speaks to her and how he acted differently from the rest made her wonder if he really is a criminal. And now hearing these words slip through his mouth says that perhaps he doesn't murder.

"I still remember the first time my father told he to hold the gun"

Instantly, that thought flew out of her mind. But Eun tak was willing to hear him out and not jump to conclusions. "I couldn't even shoot the chicken. How was I supposed to kill a human?" Kun questioned himself. Running his palms down the sides of his face, he blew out a raspberry. "That was when I was 12 years old. I never believed that I could live up to my dad's expectations. I grew up believing that killing people was a normal thing but I just couldn't do it myself."

This voice drastically took a turn. Bellowing and dark he carried on. "But then I realised that it was all a lie. How it's something illegal. I never killed anyone at that time but somehow when I found out I didn't seem to have a problem. I was so mad at my father . . . I ended him"

Her heart stopped beating upon hearing his words. Breaths wavering, Eun tak wandered her sight everywhere trying to understand what her ears had witnessed. He killed his father?

"It was self defence actually. But I didn't seem to have a problem with it when he dropped dead on the ground. But that day I learnt something about myself" perking her attention up, she lifted her chin upwards and listened. "I sometimes have a habit of doing exactly the opposite of what I am told"

Scrunching up her forehead she tried to figure out what he meant by that. "My father told me to kill but I didn't. Then I learned that you shouldn't kill people but then I did." biting her bottom lip, Eun tak gulped down. "My Boss told us to keep you guard and treat you like a hostage" letting out a snicker he couldn't help but find this situation ridiculous. "But instead I befriended with you"

Releasing her bottom lip from hold, Eun tak hushed out a breather. She saw Kun in a different way now. Far from what she saw him as at the beginning. "I'm weird aren't I?" there was a hint of hope behind his words. Hope that Eun tak would disagree.

Noticing, she shook her head. "No you're not," she answered. Strangely, even though it was what he wanted to hear he denied it. Feeling the heavy tension in their conversation, Eun tak let out a smile and tried to bring up the light.

"Then why don't you go against your Boss' orders again by releasing me from here" she sneakily asked. Clicking his tongue, Kun rolled his eyes. "Nice try" he let out but he couldn't help but smile lightly as well.