The Merciless Stud (Hot Trans Series #3)

Chapter 42

Nakaawang lamang ang mga bibig ko nang ilang sandali habang naka-titig sakaniya. His long and thick lashes emphasized the way how lazy his eyes stared at me after blurting out that question. He then switched it back on the road and continued biting his thumb that's turning red and white every time he plays with it. My heart started beating wildly after it took a long pause from beating just a few seconds ago. I inhaled deeply.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked and looked outside. I bite my lower lip as I feel my heart beating so fast it's starting to ache already.

Why would he ask me that? He had an ex girlfriend! A long term ex girlfriend at that. Whom he was head over heels! Of course, of all people, he should know it better and more than me! He felt it first!

"Nevermind." He dismissively said. I turned to him again. Brows knitting.

"I mean, yeah, smitten... 'yung ano... uh, when you're strongly attracted to someone." I paused. I saw how he let his thumb go from the grip of his teeth and clicked his fingers.

"When your heart beats so fast and loud every time you see a glimpse of their face. Even just by hearing their name. And even just by thinking of them from afar..." My voice sounded so solemn as if it's echoing inside a church. He nodded. Fuck.

"And... I guess, you'll know you're smitten if... if no matter how hard and many times you try to dismiss and get rid of that feeling... you simply just can't."

I paused and balled my right hand into a fist. Siya lamang ata ang makakapag-paramdam sa'kin ng kilig at kirot nang sabay.

"It stays... it lingers... until you lose that urge and find yourself hopeless and... helpless in their arms. And until you don't know when." I explained in my very own words. Out of my own experience. From him. I know being smitten is far different from being in love. But what I said was what I felt during the early stages of our relationship. Only that, I'm now speaking from a position of someone who's already deeply in love. Shit. I'm so fucked up.

"Alright." Tipid niyang sabi at dalawang kamay na ang humawak sa manibela. Napa-kurap kurap ako at biglang nawala sa tila slow motion na sandaling iyon. Agad kong narinig ang maingay na mga busina sa labas. Like that of waking up from a day dream.

"You're kidding, Tyson Matheus. You should know that already. From your love of your life." I joked. Mabilis ang pag-baling nang matutulis niyang mga mata. I chuckled. Mang-aasar na lamang ako kesa lunurin ang sarili sa tanong na iyon. Because knowing how my mind works and overthinks, it will just eventually lead me to hurting myself by my habit of creating fake scenarios in my mind. I laughed.

"Isa." He warned. I giggled more.

"'Diba nga? 'Di mo ba iyon naramdaman kay Eurie? Ty, I know. Naiintindihan ko naman. That's all in the past. But I still think you should already know that." I caressed the back of his head. His jaw clenched.

"Ba't naman napunta sakaniya ang usapan, B? What does being smitten gotta do with her?" He probed. I smiled genuinely.

"Because you were. With her. At one point." I insisted to make my point clearer. He shook his head.

"Bullshit. Ayoko ng away, Apple, ha." Banta niya at nag-iwas ng tingin. I smirked. Hayy, jusko. Kung dati'y siya iyong mahilig mag-hanap ng away, ngayon eh siya pa tila iyong umiiwas na. How fast the night changes, huh?

"Hindi naman tayo mag-aaway, Ty. I'm just making that as an example. Why? Weren't you smitten with Eurie before?" I gave him a questioning yet friendly look. Siguro'y iba nga ang nahahatid ng assurance sa isang tao. I can now get to joke about Eurie when just a few months ago, just the mere mention of her name would break me to million pieces.