The Merciless Stud (Hot Trans Series #3)

Chapter 44

TW: Sexual Content. Reader discretion is advised.

My eyes were filled with so much hot and thick tears that I could barely see the granite sink. The tears hindered my eyes to maintain its focus and I lost my balance quite a bit. I held on the sink using both of my hands and I inhaled so deep as if I'm getting strength from its cold surface. A shaking and painful sob escaped from my mouth and it resonated across the whole rest room- just like how it made the voices from that sickening video so clear and comprehensive.

Mabilis kong pinunasan at kinusot ang mga luha ko sa mata nang naka-bawi ng balanse. Mariin akong tumayo at tiningnan ang sarili sa salamin. My eyes reddened so instantly it's making me look like I balled it out for hours already. The sweat in my forehead showed me how that video shook my entire system in just barely a minute. Ang touch up na ginawa ko sa aking mukha at kilay ay na-hulas. My heart ached painfully as I stare at my poor reflection.

What was that...

What was all of that? When was that? Years ago? Exactly when? What month and date? What... era? Was that my chasing like a stupid fan girl era? And was it even really around those times?

Elisse did not specify it but if it's years ago, and judging on the context of what the guys were talking about in that video, I am for sure it is when we were already interacting! I am sure it was specifically two years ago!

Water? Creepy? They all found me creepy when I was frequently watching Tyson's games and with all of my cheering and water offers? That was that era, right? What else would it be!

Mariin akong napa-pikit at nang-hihinang dinama ang pag-kirot ng puso ko. I know how much Tyson hated me during that time. He loathed my presence. He threw insulting and painful remarks at me. He was a complete asshole towards me. And I accepted that. I understood that. Because I knew I also pushed my chances during all of that. It was my own doing and he's not one to be blamed for his reaction to it. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew what I was risking my everything for. I was aware of my plain and stupid decision to transfer and immune myself with him. I knew!

Pero... shit. Ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit parin pala. Ang hapdi hapdi parin palang malamang ganoon ang nangyayari at sinasabi niya at ng mga kaibigan niya sa mga panahong iyon. Sa mga panahong... ang puso ko'y naging... puro at sinsero lang naman.

Masakit kasi sa panahong iyon, si Tyson at ang mapanakit niyang salita at opinyon lang ang tanging importante sa'kin. I endured all the humiliation and just focused on him because he was all that mattered to me. But to hear... to hear all those unfiltered, unapologetic, and ruthless conversations behind closed doors... is pure torture.

Nakaka-inis kasi alam ko namang ganun talaga siya dati at hindi naman na dapat iyon nakaka-gulat sa'kin, sa kabila ba naman nang lahat na pinag-daanan at dinanas ko sakaniya, pero sagad na sagad parin ang tama at hiwa ng punyal ng sakit sa puso ko. Sa kaibuturan ko. Parang tinapak-tapakan ang buong pagka-tao ko sa narinig mula sa lumang live video na iyon.

Gigil kong hinilamos ang aking mukha at dumaing. Tumingala ako at ilang sandali pang hinayaan ang sariling umiyak. Naramdaman at narinig kong may pumasok at humalimuyak ang pambabaeng pabango ngunit hindi ako natinag. I silently cried while firmly covering my face.

"Uh, miss, is that your phone?" Sambit ng babae. Mabilis akong bumaling sakaniya at humalakhak. I nodded while my tears continued to fall. Just a fellow arki student.

"Yeah, sorry." Sabi ko at mabilis na kinuha iyon. Tumabi ako at tinabunan muli ang mukha ko at pinag-patuloy ang iyak. I heard the splashing of water and I silently thanked the girl for letting me be and minding her own business.

Ilang minuto pa akong umiyak doon. Ilang babae na rin ang pumasok at napapa-tigagal sa itsura ko ngunit nginingitian ko lamang sila upang ipaalam na okay lang ako.