To The Hellfire (Will Ramos)

37. Self Loathing

Will

Tour was over, I had been avoiding Isla after I had found out about her pregnancy. What the fuck was I thinking trying to break up with her? Thinking she would cheat on me when she claimed to love me. We were expecting a baby.

I sat on the bar stool and asked for a drink, a shot of tequila and I asked for the whole bottle of it. I poured myself everything, each shot burnt harder than the last one. Could I father her child?

My mind was swirling but not just because of becoming a father, but because of the tequila. My phone was blowing and I saw it was Isla, Mike and the rest of the guys. I sighed, I asked for water.

I felt someone clap their hand on my shoulder and I looked over and saw Austin sitting next to me.

"Talk to me man, why are you drowning your sorrows? Isla's worried about you, she thinks you're mad at her." Austin said while he asked the bartender for a shot glass.

"No man, I'm more mad at myself for wanting to dump her. I do care about her, but having a baby is scary. We're on tour consistently, I'm just scared...I'll disappoint her." I said with a deep sigh. Austin downs the shot.

"No she won't be, because I know you love her and if you are so concerned talk to her." Austin suggests, and I shrugged.

"I guess..." I trail off staring down at the glass in my hand. Until Austin takes a deep breath and says something.

"Unless you don't love her then, you'd better tell her." Austin said, I grit my teeth. How could he say such a thing? Of course I loved her.

"I do love her...But she can do better than me." I said under my breath.

"You fucking idiot, she chose you." Austin said while he threw the money on the counter, and dragged me out of the bar.

We approached the house, I saw Isla sitting outside on the porch swing dressed in the white and red Rat Club hoodie, she looked so peaceful as her brown hair cascades around her.

"Will?" Isla gasps while she sees me, Austin walks inside and we stand in front of each other. She was glowing, she was radiant and beautiful.

"Isla?" I whisper and stumble toward, she noticed my demeanour.

"Have you been drinking?" She asks me while walking over to me.

"Yes...I'm sorry Isla for everything. I don't know what I was thinking. The baby...Us..." I trailed off.

"If you aren't willing to do this with me, I can manage on my own." Isla said, while rubbing her stomach and I walked over to her. I placed my hand over hers. This woman was the one I craved and wanted.

"But within the expanse, I finally see. A world without you isn't meant for me." I whispered to her, a tear streams down her face.

"A world without you isn't meant for me either, William." Isla whispers while the breath I held I exhaled.

"I love you so much, and I want us to be happy. I'm just terrified that I'll fail." I whisper to her while bending down my head.

"I don't care as long as you try." Isla whispers, while her fingers grip into my hoodie and she yanks me down to her level and pressed her lips against mine.

"God you're too perfect for me." I murmur against her lips. And she smiled at me.

"So are you." Isla whispers with a smile,  we pull away and I extend my hand out to her. Isla takes it and walks with me.

(The Next Morning)

I found myself sleeping with Isla on her bed, my hand touching her little bump. She looked at peace, it made me feel happy to know we're in this together.

I placed a soft kiss on top of her fore head and she curls up to me, I was shirtless and I just enjoyed these precious moments with each other.

Her hazel eyes flutter open and she smiled at me, her fingers tracing my tattooed chest.

"God can you believe soon? The baby will come and we will be together as a family." Isla whispers while she places her hand on her baby bump. I smiled at her.

"It's amazing, are you happy we found each other in Verona?" I whisper, while she looks at me with a wide smile.

"Yes there wasn't a day I never thought about you, when we go back. I will show, you were my muse." Isla whispers, my heart was racing out of my chest.

She really did love me.

"Isla?" I ask as she hummed in response, while I leaned down and kissed her passionately.

"Will make love to me please." Isla murmurs against my lips.

"What if I hurt the baby?" I whined, and she groaned and began unbuttoning my pants.

"You won't, just fuck me. I need you!" She whined, which caused a chuckle to escape my lips.

"Alright I'll have my way with you." I said, as we spent the night making love in her bed but being careful not hurt her or the baby.

After we were done, we laid there panting trying to catch our breaths, just holding each other. Her fingers tracing my tattooed my chest and she kissed my chest, while my fingers were running through her hair.

"This is all I ever wanted Will, you by my side and no one else." Isla whispers, I felt the same way while I kissed her hand and just cherished the time we had together before touring had to start again.

"Me too, this was all I ever wanted also. I remember the first time I laid eyes on you that I wanted and craved you." I said, and Isla nodded and glanced at me.

"We truly were star crossed lovers, like Romeo and Juliet." Isla with a smile, indeed we were.

A/N: what do you think? - MyVictim

P.S: Thanks for the 10k reads!