Purr For Me (DNF)

Burdened Rain

Tubbo's POV

"See you guys soon," I said and hung up. "Tubbo, let's go now," Tommy said, grasping my shoulders. 

I shook my head. "No... I wanna stay a few more minutes," I said reluctantly. "Tubs... we have to go now... the hospital is gonna kick us out soon." 

"No, please..." I pleaded. "Quackity's staying, isn't he?" Tommy sighed. "But he gave Wil first aid. The doctors have to keep him around to ask him stupid questions. Besides, we haven't even reached our 20th birthday's yet. We're still kinda counted as underage. We're not allowed to stay overnight."

"Wow, TommyInnit being responsible and logical?" I snapped. "That's really unusual."

"Tubbo, I'm trying to help Wil and Big Q!" Tommy bit. "If we stay here, we're just gonna be burdens!"

Burdens.

I'll be a burden?

I choked back a sob and stood up. "OK, let's go," I said, my tone emotionless. Tommy's expression turned from exasperated to worried. "Tubs... I'm sorry."

If it was meant to soothe, it didn't work. It just made me more hurt and upset. I brushed the hair out of my eyes and furiously blinked the hot tears in my eyes. "Don't worry. It's nothing."

I gave Wilbur's arm another squeeze, gave his hair a little ruffle and whispered, "G'night, Wil. See you tomorrow... awake, I hope."

Then I turned around and stalked out the door, leaving Tommy to catch up.

Tommy's POV

I watched in dismay as my best friend walked out the room. "T-Tubs, wait!" I ran up to him and grabbed his shoulder. "I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt. I'm just trying to do the best I can... I'm sorry..." I fumbled around with flimsy explanations.

"It's nothing. Forget it." Tubbo's voice was clipped and cold. "Let's go now."

We got a taxi and Tubbo paid for it. We didn't chatter as usual, but were driven back in silence. A cold, icy silence. I knew Tubbo was mad at me and I deserved it. But I didn't know how I was gonna say sorry. All I was saying was adding salt to the wound.

We got out of the taxi and thanked the driver. Then we entered Dream's house. "Tubs... I-" I began but Tubbo snapped, "I told you forget it. It's nothing." But it didn't look like nothing as his hands began to tremble and his eyes got that sad look I was familiar with. Once he got that look, it meant he was seriously hurt and upset.

"Tubs, c'mon, tell me!" I begged, laughing as his Minecraft character childishly jumped around in circles while sneaking.

"No-o-o!" Tubbo sang. "I won't!"

"Please! Just tell me who it is and I'll leave you alone," I said. "Tommy, I don't want to tell you. Your mouth would blab it out and..." Tubbo trailed off, but I knew what would happen.

"I wouldn't tell anyone!" I argued. "Tell me, please!"

"Tommy, I don't want to..." Tubbo pleaded. "Just tell me!" I said.

"Tommy! I don't want to tell you! If I don't want to, I won't!" Tubbo's voice rose to a half-shout. Then he realized what he'd done and immediately apologized. "I-I'm sorry... I shouldn't have yelled."

"I- it's nothing. Don't say sorry."

"I-I'll go now... I'm sorry." With that, he hung up.

It'd taken me days to tell him it wasn't his fault and to get that sad look out of his eyes.

Now I'd made him upset again. But how did I know he'd get upset at that?

No, don't think like that! I chided myself. You made him sad! You don't get to think like that!

We quietly entered and saw Karl and Sapnap sitting down together on the sofa. At least they weren't cuddling or some shit.

"Hey guys," I said dejectedly. "Where's Dream and George?"

"They're up in George's room. I said something and well... George didn't take it well. So he went up to cry," Karl replied. "Dream's trying to comfort him."

"Oh, OK," I said. "What'd you say?" Karl uncomfortably shifted. "Umm..." "It's nothing important," Sapnap interjected, saving his boyfriend who shot him a grateful look. "Where's Quackity?" Sapnap added.

"He's staying in the hospital with Wil," Tubbo muttered, locking the door. "I would've stayed if I wasn't a burden." He shot me a look.

I bit my lip to keep from retorting something scathing I would probably regret. "I'm gonna take a shower," I mumbled. "Man, you just got back," Karl called. "At least drink something or rest a bit before bathing."

I forced a laugh. "C'mon, let me bath. I love showering." "What? That's weird," Sapnap said. 

"Well, I like the sound when the water hits the floor. A sound similar to that is rain, so I also like rain," I said. "But why d'you like the sound?" Karl asked. I ignored the question, the knot in my stomach becoming tighter and more painful.

I entered the guest bedroom where me, Tubbo, Wilbur and Quackity had dumped our bags and grabbed some clothes from my bag. Nothing showy, just a Lovejoy T-shirt and some black baggy sweatpants. I took my towel and stepped into the bathroom.

As soon as I turned on the shower, the sound of water hitting the floor drowned out my quiet gasps for air as I sobbed.

Why did I like the sound of water hitting the floor?

It drowns out the sounds of my crying.

Author's Note: well another chapter so if i add the previous chapter and this chapter's words together... around 1500 words. thats long enough, i guess

id also like to add the word count is 1 word more than i say it is. because MY STUPID ARSE forgot the number i was writing would be counted as a word.
im too lazy to correct it.
conclusion: if you want to count the words i wrote, just remember to add 1 word more to the count for every chapter.

so tommy cried. in case it wasnt clear why hes crying because:

1. his big-brother figure is in the fucking hospital = stress

2. he just hurt his best friend and he doesnt know how to make amends = more stress

also, a little lesson on apologies here. you may think, tommy already apologized, right? man, tubbo is being a dick. but tommy is giving non-genuine apologies. in case you didnt get it, i'll translate it for you:

I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt. I'm just trying to do the best I can... I'm sorry... 
Amounts to:
Your reaction is an unfortunate problem here. I'm a good person and I didn't do anything wrong. I've already apologized, so let's move on.

i have a book on apologies in my home and it really helped me understand apologies. like, if you wanna make a genuine apology, do NOT slip in that 'but'. 
example, "im sorry, but..." just means, "im pretty sure this excuse is reasonable for {whatever you did}."

anyways, thank you for entering therapy with me and i will see you next chapter :D

-sparkz

Word Count: 1130