Rebellious Omega (potential Dream-nap)

Chapter 16 - The Talk

"Why is Puffy worried about me? I'm perfectly fine," Dream said, confused.

"Me and you both know that's not true," Phil said, leaning back before continuing, "you've been avoiding / depriving yourself of your instincts."

"And what makes you think that?" Dream said, crossing his arms.

"The simple fact that we can all see your doing it, when was the last time you allowed yourself to relax and have a hug with somebody, or slept with a pillow" Phil asked smirking watching Dreams face contort as he tried to remember.

"Puffy's said she's watched your forcefully feed yourself food that your instincts are telling you not to eat yet your still eating it. Or the fact that your heats stopped after you only had 1" Phil continued, "your emotions haven't exactly been very active, and bet if we look in your room, it's going to feel like your in a prison cell".

"What if that's just what I'm like?" Dream argued, "maybe, I don't have the normal tendencies."

Phil didn't even need to say anything to get the message across, "The consequences of the depriving yourself of it all is dangerous, and I'm sure you've felt it" Phil continued really watching Dream.

"That doesn't concern you," Dream mumbled, knowing his act was caught only nobody really mentioned anything .

"I think you'll find it does, Puffy's asked me to talk to you, she's too nervous to do it herself" Phil explained be straight put blunt with Dream knowing it was best to get the hissy fit over with.

"What makes you think I'm going to talk about it?" Dream said, looking everywhere but at Phil, opting to mess with his hoody sleeves.

"So you admit your depriving your instincts," Phil asked, staring at Dream.

"Yes, I'm depriving myself of most instincts," Dream said aloud, more confident than he felt.

"Why? Surely it's painful?" Phil questioned, worry evident on his face.

"It doesn't matter why, and if I feel pain, I ignore it," Dream explained, keeping his answers short and snappy, never going into detail.

Phil, knowing he wasn't going to get much more out of him, decided he would tackle other queries while the boy was still willing to talking.

"Puffy also mentioned some tablets you take every day," Phil asked.

"Ahh, that's a reminder, I haven't taken them today," Dream said, springing from the sofa to hop to the kitchen. Phil followed behind to watch Dream in case he fell over.

Dream opened his school bag on the kitchen counter to find the green bottle with a white lid and white pills filling it half full on the inside. He took one out and swallowed it before Phil could ask farther questions and stop him.

"What's it for?" Phil asked, watching Dream put them away in a cabinet above the microwave.

"Nothing anybody needs to worry about," Dream said smiling, giving no information away.Phil was quiet for a bit, watching Dream limp around the kitchen for a bit. That was until he blurted out a really random question, "What stops you?"

"I uhh, what??" Dream questioned puzzled laughing slightly.

"What stops you from allowing others to help you? People are worried about you and are willing to drop everything to help fix any issues, yet you deny it every time. Yet your so willing to help others yourself, the amount of times Wilbur's came home and told me stories of you standing up for him is too many to count, yet you won't except it from others" Phil explained watching Dreams face falter with a small wave of emotion.

"I don't need the help because it only makes ignoring my instincts harder and more painful. I help others because I know it's the right thing to do, and I'm one of the few people capable of doing it, " Dream explained straight faced.

"Yet if you'd talk to somebody about how you're treating yourself, maybe it would be so painful" Phil explained.

"It won't... I know it won't... I did it before, and it ended badly... I tried again and lost the first 12 years of my childhood to head trauma. I don't intend to do it for a third time. It's only made life harder for me" Dream said filling a glass with water and downing the whole lot of it.

"Have you ever thought about potentially trying again..." Phil asked knowing the boys was talking about the time before he met 'Puffy'.

"No... maybe when things were going good, but at deeper thought, I'd rather I not take the risk" Dream explained filling the glass again.

"Who did you try talk to the first time?" Phil said, really pushing for Dream to open up.

"The first time was to a teacher in my first year of education, the second time was to my biological Parents" Dream said really trying to think back at it, "neither of them acted the way a 7-year-old or a 12-year-old needed them to".

"I'm very sorry to hear that Dream" Phil spoke noticing the sudden mood drop in the room.

"It's fine, I can't do anything about it now, I just learn from past mistakes and grow from it" Dream explained turning around and looking towards Phil.

"I don't think you have left it in the past though Dream, have you?" Phil asked, Dream wouldn't have answered the question and they both knew it. Dream had never felt so vulnerable in a long time.

"It doesn't matter, what matters is that I'm alive" Dream mumbled out loosing focus of the room slightly.

"It does though, your actions are reflecting your bad experiences, you won't accept help because of the trauma of opening up to the ones you trusted most in the past and how they reacted to it scared you. Your changing yourself to try forget and prove to them that your not what they say" Phil started really watching Dreams movements, "it doesn't seem to help with all the grief you get from the public alone. As much as you say your fine and your tough skinned, deep down there's that part of you which is always a reminder of what you went through... or what can remember you've been through".

"Why is reminding me of this suppose to help me" Dream argued fighting the urge to go and have breakdown, pain yet again growing in his chest and for some reason in his stomach and back of the throat.

"It's supposed to show you that not everyone around you is as bad as the people you once trusted, that people will care if there pushing to understand you and find a more stable platform for you to live on" Phil explained.

Dream let Phil's words sink in for a bit, every bone in Dreams body was aching for Dream to allow himself to have a moment of weakness and allow Phil to help. However he wasn't ready to go there yet, he needed to keep pushing the instincts away.

"Your doing it again" Phil said, "your avoiding your instincts".

Before Dream could reply with some comments about denying the accusation, his stomach felt like it was Turing upside-down. Pain shot through his body and he had thrown up all over the kitchen sink.

There goes the beautifully made pancakes.

[1202 Words Total]