Still MY Wife

N I N E T E E N

"Mam please come downstairs for dinner."

Your wet eyes looked up to the door. You were still on the ground. Your eyelids were shutting down because of lack of sleep and tiredness. You even lost track of time.

"I... Okay I'll come."

"Jimin sir ordered me come with you mam. Open the door please."

"I said I'll come. Leave now!"

"But mam-"

"It's an order."

You gathered up energy and slowly got up, holding the corner of the bed. You looked at yourself in the mirror, nothing more than a living corpse from your perspective.
Not physically but mentally you actually became a living corpse, all because of you, as you like to describe it.

You went inside the bathroom and held the edge of the sink to stand up. You splashed the cold water on your face numerous times. You were sleepy but the eyes won't shut down.

You grabbed the railing of the staircase and slowly walked down, looking as strong as you could so he wouldn't take advantage of you. It's not like he did but you never know.

"Here, grab my hand.", Jimin came to you offering help.

You looked at him, he was smiling. You gave your hands in his anyways. That smile, it kills. The soft and plumpy cheeks, those eyes forming cresent shape, it's all a trap. Nothing is real.

None of you said a word to each other. You both kept looking into each other's eyes for a split seconds but then you look away, not him, you. You kept feeling him staring at you. With lust, greed, love revenge, you don't know.

You were about to head upstairs when he came infront of you. His fingers traced your hands and neck. He tucked your hair behind your ear.

"Y/n, how can you be so... so attractive and unreal. Aphrodite must be so jealous of you. Everytime I see you, I feel you, I hear you, I feel like I'm in heaven. Heaven is empty and useless without you. Your existence is just so needed for me hun."

You didn't knew how to react or what to say. Truth or lie, you don't like hearing your name from his mouth.

"I don't believe in God but now I do. You know why?"

"Hm?", you hummed slowly without making eye contact.

He pulled your your chin up with his pinky, making you graze in his hazel eyes.

"Because I worship you."

Your heart started beating loudly.

"Why?"

"Because you gave me my happiness, this smile, everything."

"Did he just read my mind?"

You freaked out a bit but didn't showed it.

"I am going upstairs Jimin.", you made your way coming out of his loose grip.

"Ah! Yes, good night. Sleep well. And I need my answer tomorrow."

You tried to stay calm but till when? Till when will you fake you're okay? Till when will you continue to harm yourself and people related to you? Till when will you live like this?

You were thinking all these things while lying in the dark room as the dim moonlight hits your face through a slit in the blue curtains. You were trying to sleep but it was a hard task at that time.

You looked at the clock striking one twenty one in the morning.

"How can I even sleep knowing what will happen tomorrow. Give up m-my daughter? How?"

After numerous tries you got out of the bed and went outside the room, looking for something.

"It's an advantage I know everything about this house. Plus no one will question me, maybe."

You went inside Jimin's home office and started to surf through the drawers.

"I know Jimin uses that, I've seen it."

Finally you searched the last cabinet. You opened it and finally found what you were looking for. From inside a white box, you took out a small bottle of sleeping pills.
You quickly arranged everything back to it's place and successfully made it back to your room.

While on the way back, you saw Jimin going to the rooftop. You sure we're startled thinking it's over but managed to come back without getting caught.

You turned on the bedside lamp and sat at the upper corner of the bed.

"One? Two? Two should be enough...", something crossed your mind.You stared at the pills in your palm. You gathered up the courage and swallowed your fear. Sweat drops were running down your face.

"I'm the reason of your happiness Park Jimin? Then be in grief forever."
You took a deep sigh.

"Hobi. It's true that our relationship wasn't perfect but...but thank you for everything you gave me. I'm sorry, your Y/n isn't strong. I'm sorry but I can't fight more, I'm so sorry. Please don't forget me. And Minji, mom loved you, I, I'm your mother. Sorry for ruining your childhood. Mom, dad, after you're gone, I was so alone so...so I'm coming to meet you, sorry."

"This man won't let me live. I'm not his toy.", you burst out in tears. You gulped about ten sleeping pills, finally ending it all. After a couple of minutes, the effects started to appear on you. You felt a sudden pain in your stomach, your head started feeling heavy, everything seemed to disappear. You were experiencing eerie hallucinations. You fell on the ground. It started to get more severe when you started to lose breath.

"H-Hobi?", the only word your mouth remembers.

You held your neck, gasping for breath. Suddenly everything went silent. You closed your eyes. You could see a timeline running in front of your eyes, remembering many good and bad moment.

You laughed, seeing you as a child running after a white dog in the middle of a street. You smiled, seeing Hobi kissing you for the first time.
You felt pleased when Minji finally called you mom.

Every memory suddenly wiped off when you felt a shake in your body. You wanted to open your eyes but it was hard. You could feel something touching you from the back, it was uncomfortable.

"Wake up.", you heard a slow, faint whisper.

You slowly slit-opened your eyes and saw a faint figure above you.

"Jim-", you lost.