The Stranger / Chris Evans x OC

Chapter 170: Wake Up

CHRIS

The first thing I feel when I wake up is the pounding in my head. 

It feels like an alarm going off, blaring at me, punishing me. It's telling me to get up, to regret how much I drank last night, but most importantly it's telling me that I fucked up. 

Yet. Again. 

We've been here before, it says, patronizing me, we've been here so many times and yet you keep doing this to yourself. When will it be enough?

I let out a deep sigh, reaching up to cover my face with my hands. I groan quietly, rubbing my forehead while I try to blink my eyes open. 

I don't even remember last night – at least, not that much of it. 

I can tell I'm at my LA house, I feel the familiar mattress under my back as I lie here, and the comforter covering me doesn't feel foreign. 

My brows pull into a frown while I rub my eyes, trying to recall what the hell happened. 

And then it's like a lightbulb turns on in my mind. 

Suddenly I'm wide awake. 

My eyes shoot open while I simultaneously drop my hands from my face, the memories flying at me in a rapid pace. 

Amelia. She was there. And she.. Did she come back with me? Did she.. Fuck, did she have to carry me home?

God fucking damn it. Way to go, Chris.

She's already dumped you once and then the first time you see her, you get so shitfaced that she has to take care of you? 

I squeeze my eyes shut when embarrassment floods over me, making me want to hide from the world even more than I've already done for the past month. 

I shouldn't have drank so much last night. I know why I did it - because it was killing me to see her be so close yet so far, out of my reach despite being in the same room. I miss her so much; I miss what we had, I miss talking to her, I miss hearing about her day and me telling her about mine. I miss sharing those days together, spending those moments together, whether they be chaotic or calm, depending on what's going on. 

I miss the tranquil she's always managed to bring to my life. Ever since the first day we talked, she's managed to bring an ease to my days, to my life when it all becomes too much to handle. She even managed to calm my anxiety without having to do anything other than exist, and I've never had a person like that in my life before. 

It's one of the reasons I know we're supposed to be together, I can feel it in my gut, I was meant to find her. But now I'm starting to worry whether she was meant to find me, or whether I'm more of an inconvenience than anything, in her life. 

Getting black-out drunk to the point where I need her to take care of me like a child? That is not the message I wanted to send. That just further proves how much I need her, and how she needs to bear through being with me, because I keep fucking up. She deserves better than that, so much better than that. 

I let out a deep sigh, guilt flooding me as I think about last night. I wouldn't be surprised if she left after dropping me off, I wouldn't blame her for that. What if she never wants to see me again, because of it? 

But then I hear something. It's like my ears are finally tuning in to my surroundings, and it makes my heart jump in my chest, instantly picking up pace until it's beating rapidly. 

I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what I'm hoping to be true, slowly turning my head to the other side of the bed. 

I practically choke from emotion when my head turns and my eyes fan over her face. 

She's here. 

My breath hitches, I can feel the tears already brimming my eyes, but I do my best to keep completely still so I won't wake her. 

Amelia is sleeping next to me, her body curled towards mine as she takes steady breaths. Her hair is fawned over the pillow and the comforter is pulled up to her chin, her hands curled in the material. Her lashes flutter a little in her dream state, but her features stay relaxed and content while her eyes stay closed. 

She's wearing a t-shirt, and it takes me a few seconds before I recognize it. 

She's sleeping in one of my shirts. I can't even remember the last time I got to see her in my clothes. 

I swallow thickly, trying to blink the tears away when they gather in my waterline, my heart drumming so fast against my chest that I worry the sound alone might wake her up. 

I quietly turn towards her, my movements slow and careful while my eyes stay locked on her sleeping face. 

I hesitantly reach out my hand, my fingers delicately brushing over her knuckles, and when I feel the warmth of her I have to hold back another wave of emotion when it rushes over me. 

It's really her. I'm not imagining it, she's actually here. 

I can't even explain how much I've missed her. Not a day has gone by where she wasn't the first thing I thought of in the morning, and the last thing I thought about before falling asleep. 

For a month, I've turned to look at the empty spot beside me the second I woke up, wishing, hoping, she'd be there. 

And now she is. 

But why? 

What happened last night?

I try to wrack my brain for memories while I watch her, and they return in pieces. I know I got too drunk, and I recall something about yelling at someone, even though I can't really remember who. Or why. 

Well done Chris. 

What happened after that?

My eyes fan over her face, my heart slowly steadying as I take her in. 

She came to get me. She took my hand and dragged me out. We took a car back here, and she.. She told me it was going to be okay. 

I remember now. I remember how I broke down crying, begging for her to come back, take me back, begging for her to love me again. 

I would be embarrassed if it wasn't for the fact that I've been feeling that way since the day I walked out of her apartment. 

I've regretted walking out ever since. I shouldn't have let her push me away, and I shouldn't have held back. I should have told her everything, even if it would have ruined it, because she deserves to know the truth. 

She deserves to know everything. 

She deserves to know how I truly feel about her, about us. About this life I've imagined for us, the one I hope we get to live together. 

I breathe in deeply, my eyes fluttering closed when her familiar scent hits my senses. Fuck I've missed her. 

I won't let her slip away again. 

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