Dear Lover, I Loathe You.

23

Filming had gone on for the past few months and they were close to wrapping up. Everyone was on lunch break. Josiah had his arm around Genevieve's shoulders as they walked around together. "So the contract is up after we wrap up at the premiere...are we ever going to tell Victoria about us?" Josiah asked. "Well if we're really seeing each other now...she's going to have to know before they go to the media about us 'breaking up'." Genevieve said.

"Gather around everyone!" Taylor shouted. Everyone walked over and gathered around her and Mason. "We just want to thank you for your hard work on set. As you know filming will be wrapping up in a few weeks. It's been an honor working with you all and I'd like to thank you all for being apart of this project. Thank you." Taylor smiled as everyone cheered for her. "Now go enjoy the rest of your break and let's get today wrapped up!" She shouted.

"I'll see you on set." Josiah kissed Genevieve's head before walking off. Genevieve walked off and caught up with Taylor. "So your first film finally wrapping up that must be exciting." Genevieve said. Taylor glanced up from her clipboard. "I'm pretty nervous, I won't lie." Taylor sighed. "Why?" Genevieve asked.

They stopped walking. "I know my fans back me up and support what I do...but this is something new. I just worry about it not being good to everyone else." Taylor said. "Mason agreed to work with you, clearly he saw potential if he pitched your idea to his studio heads. Stop worrying so much." Genevieve reassured.

"I guess I just need a break. Filming has felt so draining." Taylor sighed. "Welcome to the movie world." Genevieve replied. Taylor softly laughed, "A break doesn't sound bad though. I'll probably take one once we wrap up." She said. Taylor thought for a moment and looked at Genevieve. "Why don't you go with me?" Taylor suggested.

"Me?" Genevieve questioned. Taylor nodded. "Where do you plan on going?" Genevieve asked. "Home. I want to visit my parents it's been a while. I'm sure your dad would love to see you again too." Taylor said. Genevieve looked off, "I don't know. I haven't really been back there in years."

"I'm sure your dad misses you and he'd be glad to see you. But no pressure, I understand. Just let me know if you change your mind." Taylor said as she walked off. Genevieve watched her walk off.
--
Genevieve was teary eyed as she was recording an emotional scene with Josiah. "I love you, Sam. I do." Genevieve tearfully spoke. "I loved you. I gave you a sacred part of me...I thought you loved me." Josiah glared. Genevieve stayed silent for a moment. His words sounded so familiar but she didn't understand where she had heard them. Almost as if she knew but her brain had erased the memory of it. She looked down ashamed but still confused and trying to remember where she heard those words before. "I thought you were different." Josiah quietly said and walked out of the scene.

"Cut!" Taylor shouted. "That face was great Genevieve it's like I could really see that sadness and conflicted emotion in your eyes. Good job today." Mason said. Genevieve faintly smiled. "That's a wrap everyone!" Taylor called out. Josiah smiled and wrapped Genevieve a hug and walked her off set. "That was great. I think that might have been one of your best performances yet." Josiah smiled. "Yeah..." Genevieve faintly smiled and walked off with him.

--
Genevieve sat in the chair nervously toying with the hem of her skirt. "Genevieve. It's been a while since you were last in here." Her therapist said. "What's been keeping you from making your appointments?" She asked. "I've been busy." Genevieve replied. "You know, your mental health is important. A career like this takes a toll on a person and with added trauma...it's important you make your appointments." She said.

Genevieve stayed silent and continued nervously playing with her skirt. Her therapist noted her anxious behavior and softly smiled, "So tell me what brings you back here?" She asked. "I've been having...I don't know. It's like...if it's almost like deja vu. I swear I've either lived some of these moments or have memories of certain things but I can't really remember." She explained.

Her therapist took notes and nodded. "When did this start?" She asked. "A few months ago?" Genevieve answered. "Have there been any drastic changes in your life that may have triggered this?" She asked. Genevieve thought for a moment, "I guess...someone from my past came back into my life and I guess that's when it started." She said.

"Was this person a negative person in your life?" She asked. "Well it's actually been two people who came back." Genevieve said. "Are any of them negative?" She asked. "I don't exactly have a good history with one of them. I went through a pretty traumatic experience with them. More than once." Genevieve replied.

"Interesting." Her therapist nodded. "What?" Genevieve asked. Her therapist rested her head against her hand. "Remember when we had discussed that experience you had with your mother?" She asked. Genevieve nodded. "I told you sometimes our brains have the tendency to...erase memories. When put through traumatic situations and experiences, it can overwhelm the brain and you will experience something like this." She explained.

"So I'll just never remember?" Genevieve asked. "Not necessarily. It just means your brain is suppressing the memories that put you in distress. It's like your brain knows what the trigger is, but it isn't letting you process it. Almost as if it were a defense mechanism." She explained. "Then what does it mean?" Genevieve asked.

"Well it could mean that while you believe you are over something, you clearly aren't." She said. Genevieve looked off in silence. "You're over something when you can talk about it. That's the indicator of something being healed. But if you can't talk about it, clearly it's still something that hurts you."

Genevieve scoffed, "But how am I supposed to ever talk about something I can't even talk about?" She asked. Her therapist silently listened. "Everyone is always asking and asking about it and I don't know how many times I have to tell them I just can't talk about it. They have no clue how much it's been eating away at me for years." Genevieve said as her eyes grew watery.

Her therapist slid over the tissue box. "Whenever you're ready to talk about it I'm all ears. That's what I'm here for." She said. Genevieve slightly laughed and wiped her tears away. "I wish it were that easy." She sighed. "I was invited to go back home."

"And you don't want to go?" Her therapist asked. Genevieve played with the tissue in her hands. "I don't know. I miss my dad, it would be nice to see him again. I just don't know if I'm strong enough for it." She said. "Maybe it wouldn't be bad from a healing standpoint of things. But remember we talked about baby steps. Only do what you're comfortable with." Her therapist advised.

"So you think I should go?" Genevieve asked. "I'm saying do what you're comfortable with. If that isn't what you're comfortable with. Don't do it. But if you think you're strong enough to do it, go back home and see how you feel. Maybe it'll help us with your progress." She said.

--

Genevieve sat in her car and stared at the phone in her hands. She dialed one of her contacts and pressed her phone up to her ear. She listened to the ringing before the call was quickly answered. "Hello?" Taylor answered. "I'll go." Genevieve said. "What?" Taylor asked. "When we wrap up filming...I'll tag along with you." She said. "Really?" Taylor asked. "Yeah. I haven't seen my dad in a while. It'd be nice to see him again." She replied. "Great. It'll be fun. I'll keep you updated." Taylor said.