This Is, Love (GxG)

Chapter 30

(This chapter contains a lot of throwbacks in italic font)

Lovely Uzziah

I was laying freely at the clothed floor that I prepared for the both of us. I rested my hands on my stomach while waiting patiently for her to join me here.

This actually wasn't plan, my plan was to avoid interacting with her as best as I could but I failed to do it because I know that my heart doesn't want to ignore her. I always wanted her attention.

I always love how her face wrinkled when I tried to piss her already pissed attitude. I find it cute and makes my heart somewhat happy when I get the chance to do it. I love how her lips form a thin line because her patience was as thin as it is. I admit, she looks sexy when she's mad.

She always brings joy to me without her knowing, ever since I laid my eyes on her--correction...since she wasn't born yet.

I always got the feels of excitement every time I see her beautiful serious face. Am I being obsessed over her? I don't know.
I'm just certain that my heart beats only for her.

I used to follow her before when she was a child, teenager and now a woman when I have my time to do so to check up on her. I'm always worried about what she's doing, who she was with, where she's at. Nasanay akong nakabantay sa kanya from afar for some reason.

My mom used to say this before that I should stop what I'm doing but she's the first reason why I became like this toward Yunis.

But now that she's always near me, it frightens me for the possibility that I'd lose her too if I continue to follow what I feel just like what my mom experienced before. I've witnessed it and it caused her her life because she's so drowning in love.

I'm scared that in the next, they'll chose to give up on me. Once I loved them hard, they'll give up. Like I'm not enough for them to stay.

After knowing that she likes me, indirectly saying those words the night I kissed her back... I swear, I'm the happiest person alive! It's something worth living for-she made me forget that horrible and disgusting experienced in my life. The one I'm still trying to forget and hide in the past, buried deep in the earth core and evaporated into thin air forever.

But I'm grateful for the people around me who accepted me and doesn't failed to make me feel loved every day. She's one of them, that's why I want her to feel it too without causing any harm on her part. As much as I can, I want her to feel safe when she's with me but I can't assure her that for now because of the complicated circumstances we are in.

I heaved a sigh. "Aren't you going to join me?" My voice is soft to make her feel comfortable.

I waited for her to come where I'm at. A few seconds later, I felt her presence beside me. She hugged herself in her knees as she cleared her throat yet she doesn't talk but I know her too well, she will eventually say something when it's bothering her and I'm not wrong at all. I was just caught off guard with her question.

"Why did you runaway, Ma'am?" She said while looking up the ceiling. Remembering that day, it makes my system feel all the rushing feelings I can ever feel but I am afraid of what would happen after if I let myself get carried away.

"I'm afraid," I honestly said without breaking my gaze with her figure beside me.

"Afraid of what?"

"Of the possibilities if I let my feelings take over me." I said in my lowest tone. I don't want to lie to her as much as possible. I'm always afraid that it might hurt her feelings when she finds out the truth about my past and why I did the things I needed to do.