Part 14

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The next night, I went to Carmen's house for dinner. Carmen Diaz is one of my best friends from high school, and she is a damn good cook. When we are able to, we like to have girls nights at her apartment, and she will cook.

Tonight she made us tacos with a grilled peach salsa that was absolutely delicious. We sat on the deck of her apartment as we ate and drank hard seltzers.

"I need your help." I said, "I need to somehow tell Jackson that I can't see him anymore."

I had texted Carmen about Jackson after the date- and she seemed genuinely happy for me. She now gave me a confused look.

"Wait." she said, flipping her caramel blonde hair over her shoulder, "Why are you not going to see Jackson anymore?"

I chewed on my bottom lip for a moment out of pure anxiety and said, "It wouldn't be fair to him. I...I might have kissed Riley."

Carmen's hazel eyes widened and she said, "No way! High school Jenny must be internally screaming."

"High school me, and me now." I said.

"You better tell me every little detail." Carmen said, turning toward me.
So I did. I told Carmen about the conversation leading up to the kiss- and how I felt when I kissed Riley.

"I felt way too much with her to be able to carry something on with Jackson." I said, "I can't even begin to describe how it felt kissing Riley."

"I can tell. You're flustered, and it's cute." Carmen said, "And believe me, I am not trying to put a damper on your situation at all. And you know that I support you no matter what, Jenny. But you seemed very set on being with a man. Are you okay about this happening with Riley?"

"I'm scared. But I feel like I have to explore these feelings." I said, "I owe it to myself. And Riley."

Carmen smiled at me, "That's what I like to hear. So, you have to text Jackson."

"Should I call him?" I asked, "I feel kind of bad telling him I can't go on a second date over text."

"I think it's totally fine." Carmen said, "Do you want me to type out a message and send it?"

I handed Carmen my phone and said, "Please. I feel like such a pussy."

"I get it. It's difficult." Carmen said, "You know, when I met Nick, I had gone on a couple of dates with a seemingly really nice guy weeks before. But I had to tell him I met someone else."

"I think that's what I should mention to Jackson- that there is someone else in my life that I am trying to pursue- so he doesn't wonder if it was all him."

A moment later, Carmen showed me the text to send to Jackson. It was very respectful, and to the point. I hit send- and my heart started racing as I waited for his answer.

"I feel really bad doing this." I said, "Rejecting someone is never easy, at all."

I didn't get a text back for another half hour- and I immediately opened it when I saw Jackson's name show up on my phone.

I skimmed over the text, and Carmen asked me, "How did he take it?"

"Very well." I said, relieved. I looked over his message back to me once more and said, "He said he very much respects that, and he hopes everything goes well for me."

"That's a stand-up guy." Carmen said, "My guy in the situation I was in didn't react as nicely, as you may remember."

"Oh, I definitely remember." I chuckled, "He said your relationship with Nick wouldn't last a week. Well, it's been over a year now."

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