Wrong To Be His Alpha || Tk 𐤀

🔻 CHAPTER 21 🔻

                      // I am sorry //

The clock ticking every moment as intensity desperately searches to find it's own defined limits. The saturation of this unknown feeling in the air, reciprocated by the mind, is currently presented as something which is too much to endure in reality. If it was a movie, Tae would be sure to pause, rest for a moment, re-energize, re-compose and resume to experience the rest part of it. A break is definitely what he needs at this very moment.

But, unfortunately and expectedly the present isn't an illusion, the life isn't a movie. He needs to endure what is given to him, he needs to strive, he needs to remember life cannot be paused. It sometimes amuses him how much mysterious the life can be. The life in itself is a complete cavern of undiscovered secrets, a complicated blend of beginning's anticipation and end's agony.

The younger alpha sitting in front of him stares at him wide eyed, his dark orbs sheltering a string of shiver in his own eyes. He feels exposed, like an open book. It is as if all his thoughts, all his wild confusions are transparent in his eyes, written in round hand, presented to be gazed at. The intense gaze that he receives just unsettles him, it does nothing more, nothing less. The grip on his wrist, it strangles him only to let him fall on quilts, it tortures him only to throw him to the heaven of gentle clouds.

As if his mind is still being read, constantly in a continuous rythme, the dominant alpha voices out, his palm still gently clutching on to the older's frail wrist.

Jk: "I will not say anything that I am not worthy of tae. Please give me this chance. I will tell you what you deserve to know."

Tae:"Hm." A long sigh is let out by the younger. The exhaled breathe expressing his nervousness and at the same time cradling the hint of success that he received by making the other agree.

Jk: "Let me start it from the start."

Tae: "Hm."

Jk:"I....we......" Still, as if his throat is strangled by the invisible air, he fails to proceed. The words clear in his mind, struggling to come out, desperate to see the happening salvation, fails to follow the lead of his tongue.

Tae: "Take your time." Tae: voices out, understanding the other's mental warfare. He can never blame, never judge, he knows what a mind can lead to, he knows the bloody mess that a tired mind can produce, he knows how much it hurts to not be able to voice out one's inner feelings.

Jk: "I really do feel like a piece of shit tae ! It is after the moment you step out of the house, I realized how much you meant to me. I felt shattered the moment you left me. I still do. Taehyung, dear, did you really think you meant nothing to me?" The dark orbs of the dominant alpha flicker for a moment. Is it hope? Is it guilt? Who knows? Glassy with the whirlpool of emotions that currently force their way inside his mind, his eyes show so much pain that he has never portrayed before. His heart that beats fast, faster than what he recalls it has ever run, his lips prominently tremble, not wanting to let out a wail, yet being suppressed under the confusion of which emotion he shall portray.

His mind just desires the other to be soft. A single chance of forgiveness, a lone, stray feeling of desperation crawls up within him. This very feeling is never new to him, it is a habit, that he forever wants to bury, but like a wandering soul it wanders around him, never wanting to let go. But, this time the desperation tends to force it's way up to several knots, leading his chest to tighten, his mind to get blurry his thoughts to get jumbled up.

Every endurance, he faces and qualifies only for the single ray of hope that he has imagination has built in his mind. An illusion of a forgiveness that he has believed so much thay it's pretended existence does not bring any feeling of surprise in him. He doesn't know what he is feeling, yet his eyes never let go of the older one, he continues to stare hoping for a response that is taking longer than he wants it to.