HE WANT TO MAKE IT ALRIGHT {MY STRICT +COLD APPA}

Part:~46

"Fear of losing dearest close ones."

[The dagger of words or actions inflicted by someone close to us is a net of hurtful and dreadful terrible thump, which even in the present makes the soul tremble with recollections in the heart of the person who has suffered it.]

[YN'S POV]

It has been almost 3 days that I have been confined in this room like this, and since that day, some new and sweet memories have been made.

Appa still goes the same way and returns home at night in an inebriated state; now I don't even have the courage to question him about this. I remain quietly calm, mostly when I reminisce about Appa's noxious words.

Today I am sitting here near the window of my room, feeling the fresh air. At that time, all the sweet, heartwarming, or heart-wrenching deathful memories are coming towards my mind, and unwanted painful memories are coming to my mind, and those things are bothering me.

Even though those memories are of Appa, Woojin, and my beloved brother, those memories are still causing me severe pain today because I hurt them with something I did foolishly. I remember very well that I have upset my father more than anything else in the world because he no longer trusts me enough to let me go out of the house alone to enjoying-fun myself.

And I also know that now I deserve all that, but I can't bear the pain of Appa's displeasure, so now I accept everything he says; I don't even step out of the room without his permission.

Even today, I remember the tearful face of my younger brother when I had hurt him deeply with my words, and those words were so harsh that he left Appa along with me and went to study in a boarding school somewhere far too far away, but Appa never hurt or scolded me on that matter after that day because he knew that it was my absurdity of foolishness, but perhaps my little brother is too young to understand this, and he is still angry with his noona and has not talked to her even once.

I just want to do everything right now because I hurt Woojin too by not even understanding his side. He is my childhood friend, yet I fought with him because of this stupid teenage love relationship. Now I have to make things right with everyone, but how can I do it? Will everyone forgive my misdeeds and give me a chance to make things right?

I am full of regrets, but today I did not shed even a single tear from my eyes because now I have to make everything right in front of them and do not want to live alone in regret for the dark deeds I have done.

It's been a long time that I haven't met my elder hidden friend who is of Appa's age, and she listens to all my problems and solves them like an angel by magic with words, but now I can't even disobey Appa to meet her. But how can I meet her because she doesn't have any place? She suddenly comes to meet me on her own, sometimes at a cafe, sometimes at a club, or sometimes in the school canteen.

I am thinking that I am missing her a little, but from today onwards I have drawn a limit line on Appa's words and will not go beyond that, so when everything is going right, then after asking permission from Appa, I will go to meet her comfortably.

I am hungry, but Appa is not there. How should I eat? Yes, like every day, food would be kept outside on the dining table, but still, I would not love to eat food like this, only with his permission. I come out of my sad thoughts when I see Woojin walking towards me from the door, carrying the steaming hot food.

Woojin said, placing the plate of served food on the bed. "Yn sir had told you to eat food on time, like every time, so why did you not come out of the room for that?"

"Woojin, I'm not hungry; I'll eat later!" I lied.

"Yn sir had told you gently, like every time, then why do you do this every day?" He said this while expressing some displeasure at me.