turned out

13

It had been a few hours since me and Jace had sex in the shower.

I was now in my room just thinking about how fucked up Asia was.

She had a new nigga already. It had only been like two months since we'd split, and we'd been together for years now.

Almost felt like she been planning this shit all along.

I sat on the bed as I began to cry.

I couldn't understand why negative shit kept happening in my life.

I just had lost my mom, and I never even met my father, probably never was going to, and Asia didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

I just wanted a break right now. Some peace of mind would have been great.

I just wanted to be happy.

I began to cry as I thought about everything that had been happening lately.

Jace opened the door and walked in looking at me.

It was almost as if he knew exactly when I was upset or having a mental breakdown.

"You okay? You wanna talk about it?" He asked as he sat next to me on the bed.

I continued to cry as tears dropped from my cheek onto the floor.

Jace began to hug me and rub my back.

"It's alright. Just tell me what's going on." He said.

"She got a new nigga already." I said as I sniffled.

"Word?" Jace asked.

"I pulled up earlier because she hasn't been texting me back. She didn't even accept the gift that I got her for Christmas, last month." I said.

"She ain't shit anyway, Sin. You deserve way better than that." Jace said.

"I know but I just can't wrap my head around that shit. I thought we loved each other. " I said.

"I mean... she probably been wantin' to leave you the whole time cause two months is quick." Jace said.

"Especially knowin' yall been fuckin' with each other for years." He continued.

"I know." I said as I sniffled and looked at the ground.

"She probably was fucking that nigga the whole time." I said.

"Probably. Probably not." Jace replied.

"I guess we both was cheating.. but I actually was trying to do better." I said.

"Sin?" Jace asked.

"Yea." I said.

"Can I tell you sum?" He asked.

"Wassup?" I asked as I looked up at Jace.

"Nevermind." He said.

"Nah, tell me." I said.

"Nah... it's aight." He responded.

"Jace, you can tell me anything. Ian gone judge you brody." I said as I smiled a little.

Jace started to fidget a little. I could tell that nigga was actually getting nervous.

"You know how we was fuckin earlier right ? " He asked.

"Yea... what about it ? Oh..I know we promised it wouldn't happen again...that shit was a mistake." I said.

"Nah... I meant to say I really meant it when I said I loved you Sin. I know you into girls and shii like that, but... I really got feelings for you on some shit." Jace said as he looked into my eyes.

"Dead ass ?" I asked.

I couldn't believe the shit that was coming out this nigga mouth.

"Yea.. I really been having a crush on you since we was kids. I never said shit though because I ain't think you'd ever fuck with a nigga." Jace responded.

It was silent for about 30 seconds until I spoke up.

"Man... Jace, you know I love you too. But you know ian into you like that...before this shit happened I always looked at you as a homie. I would have said brother but that shit down the drain now and would be weird. I appreciate you being there for me and shit but I'm into females. I never meant to play with your feelings or anything, I apologize if I did. I ain't think you'd catch any feelings." I said.

If we being a hundred percent honest right now, I wasn't sure of my feelings for Jace.

After we fucked for the first time, I found myself thinking about Jace all day. I was actually in denial about everything. I didn't wanna tell myself that I liked him. But also I didn't really know if I did or not. I didn't wanna be straight though.

How would my friends think of me if they ever found out ?

"So why not stop me when I was fuckin you?" Jace asked.

"The sex was good and all, I ain't saying it wasn't, I just feel like we were both doing it to make each other feel good." I said.

"So, you basically was just using me for my dick?" Jace asked.

"Nah, of course not. I care about you.. it's not like that at all. We ain't gotta fuck anymore. I told you this. " I responded.

"It's cool, I understand." Jace said shrugging as he just walked out the room without closing the door behind himself.

I could tell I probably hurt him. Jace had a strong way of hiding his feelings though.

I just laid down and looked at the ceiling and thought to myself.

I began to rethink about everything.

Did Asia ever even care about me? Maybe I was living a lie the whole time. All the shit we had planned for the future, and now this bitch got a new nigga and she didn't even like dick.

That shit was blowing me. I blamed myself for it though. That's what I always did.

I felt like a failure. Why did I always ruin everything good in my life.

I really hoped that I didn't hurt Jace. He was there for me when nobody was and I really didn't wanna break his heart but I didn't wanna ruin our friendship either at the same time.

He didn't deserve any of this and I really wanted to apologize and explain more to him but I just left him alone.

I closed my eyes and tried my best to fall asleep.

A few moments later I fell asleep.