ziam smut

kisses and courage

kisses and courage
xxcaribbean ao4

Summary:

they're just slips of paper that bare his heart to the one person he can't bring himself to be honest with until ultimately he has no other choice.

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Work Text:

It's probably the stupidest, corniest shit Liam's ever done, but it's too late to back out now because as he watches Zayn pick up the Hershey's chocolate kiss with a little white slip of paper attached to it, a small rubber band keeping it in place, he knows he's sealed his fate.

Zayn's brow furrows in confusion, and Liam watches him carefully, enough so that he won't get caught staring because if anyone can read him like a book, its Zayn.

Careful fingers untie the paper from the little piece of chocolate and the dips and curves of Zayn's face rearrange themselves into a new pattern, one of smooth surprise.

And Liam waits on baited breath.

The paper is eventually pocketed into the front of Zayn's jeans after a few mere moments and then the candy is unwrapped and placed upon his tongue, where he sucks at the chocolate with his mouth, and maybe, Liam thinks, this wasn't such a good idea after all.

x.x.x.x

The next time it happens, it's when they're sharing a room. It's tragically risky, more so than the first time because Liam thinks it's pretty obvious who would be giving Zayn random little chocolates with love notes attached to them.

But either Zayn's completely oblivious, or he's trying to do Liam a favor by not bringing it up at all.

"These are good," Zayn says as his tongue curls around the kiss. Liam tries hard not to swallow but has to lick his lips and force himself not to concentrate on the way that the other lads cheeks hollow every so often.

"And where are you getting them?" Liam asks. He knows. He knows.

Zayn shrugs. "No idea, really."

That doesn't sooth Liam's heart whatsoever.

"So you're just eating random chocolate?"

Zayn looks thoughtful for a moment but smiles. "I highly doubt someone who's trying to woo me is going to poison them. It's chocolate, Liam, who doesn't like it?"

Liam tries not to feel bitter.

Zayn knows, but he doesn't know.

It isn't fair, and Liam's a coward.

x.x.x.x

"Where'd you get that?"

"Dunno."

"Well c'mon, share!" Harry insists, but Liam can't bring himself to mention that he has a whole bag of them in his suitcase. It'd give it away and if he's going to admit what he's done, he'd rather do it face to face with Zayn and not the rest of the band.

"I can't, Harry. They just show up."

The boy with the curls isn't pleased, but he leaves it at that. And all Liam can wonder about is what Zayn does with the notes, if they're still stuck in the pocket of each of his jeans he'd been wearing the day that Liam had set those candy grams out.

He wants to know, but he doesn't ask. So instead he settles for video games and junk food while they wait for the day to pass by with every tick of the clock.

x.x.x.x

Liam's trying to be obvious, but he's not trying to be obvious.

He wants Zayn to notice, but he doesn't want him to notice.