the trip that started it all

Chap.46

" Troye, get up! You have to ..look presentable!" I said, hitting him repeatedly on the head with a pillow.

" For what?" He asked groggily.

" We are telling my parents about the proposal." I said, looking through my clothes to find the perfect outfit.

His eyes shot open and dragged his suitcase, shuffling through clothes until he found the outfit he desired.

I went with a formal white t-shirt with a black blazer covering most of it, a white tie and belt, and grey pants. I found my confidence as I adjusted my tie in the mirror. Troye came over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

" If you look half as good as you do now on our wedding day, I'd still be drooling over you." He whispered, making the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

I turned around, his arms still around me, to get a look at his outfit. He had on a brown plaid t-shirt with a grey blazer covering it with a dark green, almost brownish, coat covering it. He also had on a white belt and black skinny jeans.

" You look." I said between kisses." Amazing. You just need one more thing."

I went and grabbed my black and white tie, in which I draped across his shoulders. I started to tie it, ever so often looking at the handsome man I would soon call my husband, him looking forward and confident as ever.

After I tied it, He smiled a thank you and took my hand in his.

" You ready?" He asked.

" No, but if I don't do it now, when will I?" I said.

We walked down the stairs, me trailing behind him so I wouldn't have to face my parents as soon as possible, but there they were, sitting in the living room.

" Where are you two going so dressed up?" My dad asked.

"We actually need to talk to you guys about something." I stammered, taking a seat, in which Troye sat directly by me, putting his hand on my knee cap for extra support.

" Ok, you both care about my happiness, right?" I asked.

" Of course." My mother told.

" Ok, so does Troye. Do you both love me?" I asked.

" Yes, sweetheart." My mother replied.

" Again, so does Troye. Do you think I should do whatever makes me happy?" I asked.

" Yeah, but Connor where is this coming from?" My father asked.

" Troye proposed." I said with smile swept across my face.

Let's just say it didn't last long as I saw my parents exchange and look at me with sullen eyes.

" Connor, we are glad you two are in love and everything, but we don't think this is the best for you." My father told me.

" W-what?" I stuttered, on the edge of crying.

" Your father is right. You guys have only been dating a couple of months." My mom commented.

" And he was there when I had no one. You guys even left the hospital after a week, but Troye refused to leave and would fight Zoe and Tyler so he could get a shower or eat in another room! He stayed when even my own family left me!" I yelled, tears cascading down me face.

" Connor..." My mother cooed.

I couldn't take it any more. I refused them tell me I couldn't marry Troye, that is was ' too soon' or we were ' too young'.

I walked out the door and started walking down the road in a whirlwind of fury, sadness, and fear.

I thought they liked Troye? Didn't they want me happy? Did they care that I was in love? That they are breaking my heart?

I walked mindlessly until I reached my childhood secret place, where I went when I needed to be alone. Sure, my whole family knew about it, but no one wanted to walk all the way out there for me to yell at them to go home.

It wasn't anything special. Just a long overlooking a little creek. I leaned back on the log and pulled my legs into my face. I felt like crying harder than I already was, but that wasn't possible. It was already hard to breathe in between sobs.

The emptiness in sound around me was filled soon with the wails I gave away when trying to breathe properly and I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered I never got rid of it. I didn't know how or have time.

I whipped out my phone and popped off my phone case. It fell in my hands and I looked at the tiny piece of metal that lay there. I spun it between my fingers, contemplating on ripping my skin open to trade the emotional pain for the physical one, until I heard footsteps behind me.

" Connor? What are you doing?" Troye whimpered as he looked down at me.

" Well, Troye. After seeing me in my darkest hours and my family thinking they know what makes me happy, I have a feeling your going to leave and I'm fine with that as long as your happy." I said, choking up on my words.

He sat down beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, bringing me closer to him and letting me rest my head on his comforting shoulder.

" I will never leave." He sighed out.

" Why? I'm too much to deal with." I said.

" 1. Not true and 2. Because i love you." He said, kissing the top of my head.

" I'm sorry my parents won't let us get married." I cried.

" I talked to your parents after you left and they said if it was going to make you happy, then we have their blessing." Troye said, smiling.

" That's wonderful!" I screamed.

I started to get up, but Troye pulled me back down.

" So you came here when you were little your parents say?" He inquired.

" Yeah. I'd come here when I need to think and be alone." I sighed.

" What did baby Connor have to think about?" He laughed.

" Bullies, life, the future.." I trailed off.

" What about the future?" He asked, taking my hand.

" I thought about girls. This was mostly around 14 and 15 when I really didn't know what gay was and I was kinda scared at the fact I could look at a girl and find her cute, but not want to date her. I thought about having a wife and kids. The stereotypical lifestyle from the midwest, but something felt missing. Instead of needing a beautiful wife, I needed a beautiful husband, and that's exactly what I'm getting." I sighed.

We both stood up and started walking before I turned around, and looked at my palm with the blade in it. I balled my fist in anger and threw the blade as far as I could. I saw it land between leaves and fall through. I knew where it landed but I looked away for a second and I lost it. I smiled at the thought the thing I hurt myself with is finally out of my life.

Troye squeezed my hand and pulled me in for a kiss before we continued walking.