𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 ✓

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B E L L A

For the longest time, my theory on love has been conceptualized to be a feeling of overwhelming happiness. Stolen glances across a room, when two souls intertwine and everything else seizes to exist. It's those small actions of noticing one's likes and dislikes—watching what makes that person smile and sad and then make sure to do something that only bring smiles on their faces.

Love, in my eyes, is the sickest form of heartbreak when fate isn't on your side. Fate decide whether you'll get your way or whether you don't. We often believe bad things happen to bad people because they chose to live an immoral life. But, that's fucking bullshit. Sometimes there isn't a backstory as to how or why people behave the way they do. It's just who they are.

And then there's me, I always I wanted to become my own person. To do something that can make my parents proud and friends in awe. I had my fair share of men in life. I had crushes, I had feeling of wanting in love. I always wanted my love to be great and epic, something that'd make me fight for it.

I'd go through a thousand hardship if it meant I ended up in the same world as Mahir who possess not just my body but my soul as well. In my eyes, it would worth any risk.

Even the risk I'm taking right now.

It's a very needed risk and very calculative. The moment I saw fear in Mahir's eyes I knew what I needed to do. With his past, he build  a wall inside him where only I could enter. The scars from his past still haunts him, they're forcing him to be scared and weak. Somthing I know Mahir isn't.

I wanted him to be who he is. I wanted him to be the person he wants to be. I want him to explore his feelings without having to worry about anything. I want him to be true to his self and enjoy the smallest of the things that makes him happy. I don't want him to hide his feelings. I know he loves me but he isn't ready to accept it because he's afraid he'd end up getting hurt or worse—alone.

The rain poured down blurring my vision as if it's showing how I felt from inside. The pain I felt after making that decision was something that'd haunt me forever.

I was drenched from head to toe and hair sticking to my face but I kept going knowing it's the only way to fix whatever broken inside of him.

When I said that I love him I didn't mean that I wanted him to say it back. I knew he does because his actions they speak louder than any words. And even if he doesn't, I know he cares for me. I know he wants me and that is enough for me.

But that doesn't help the pain that's clenching my heart at the thought of leaving him. I'd never leave him. It was never in my option.

I was drawn to him in the very moment I started to see him in a different light. Even though I had feelings for someone else at that time, the thought of Mahir never left my mind. I always tried to keep my heart in check whenever he was around me.