Bombs & Bullets | Cricky [C]

29 | Mistaken

| Chris' POV |

We really did spend all day in bed. It was perfectly blissful, and reminded me again why I love this man. At about four-ish I climbed out of bed to take a much overdue shower. When I got out, I went to go look for Ricky, because even those twenty minutes away from him felt like forever.

He was stood leaned against the doorframe of the pantry. I snuck up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

He sighed in defeat, turning the pantry light off. "Babe, we have nothing to eat."

I leaned in by his ear and kissed behind it, then replied, "Maybe we could go out to eat tonight."

Ricky let his head fall against the wall. "But... That requires going out in public and being around people." He whined.

"Then what do you suggest?" I asked.

He turned around, still in my arms, and looked up at me. Ricky wrapped his arms around my torso, just as I had mine around his. "Let's order a pizza and watch the hockey game on TV."

"See, this is why I love you." I smiled. Ricky forced a small giggle in response, but it just didn't feel right. Like something was wrong with him. I brushed his hair out of his face gently. "Are you doing okay?"

Ricky broke eye contact with me. He then hugged me tighter and rested his head against my chest. "I'm just really sick of the cold."

I tend to forget how depressed he gets this time of year. It's not just because of the shit weather. It's Jani. Their anniversary is on New Years. He died in November, and his birthday was somewhere in February. Plus we usually toured in the summer, so all his time spent with Jani and his memories were during the winter. And let's not forget, Jani was colder than the worst winter possible.

I delicately placed a his on his head. "Maybe after this week in the studio, we should go visit Devin and Shiloh in California."

"That... That would be nice." He softly grinned.

It felt good to make him happy, even if it was just by a little. "I'll go book is a flight then, and you order us a pizza."

~~~

Ricky didn't seem to eat much. Then again I got so into the hockey game, as usually, that I didn't pay attention to him as much as I should have been. He fell asleep almost immediately after the game was over. I let him stay sleeping for a moment.

While he slept with the cat on the couch, I slipped into our bedroom. I went into the bathroom and looked in the medicine cabinets. Just like I was afraid of... His med bottles are way too full. He hasn't been taking them as much as he should be. Why would Ricky do that? He knows he gets depressed without them. I shut the cabinet again, just as my phone vibrated in my pocket. This late?

It was Devin. I think his mind is on such overload, that he forgets the major time difference between LA and Scranton.

"Hey." I softly answered. "How's everything going?"

"I wish I could say good. I'm at the hospital right now, taking a walk outside to clear my head." He replied. Devin sounded so beat and tired.

"Where's Bella?" I asked.

"She's with Ashley. I had no other choice. I need to be with Shiloh right now."

I sighed. "Is he showing any signs of improvement?"

"Yeah, but barely. I'm still so worried. At least a lot of his pain is easing up."

"I understand it's rough." I said. "Ricky is... He's not himself again. We're going to take a trip out there in about a week, to try to get our minds away from everything."

"Just say it, Chris. You want to get him away from Scranton because Jani's birthday is coming up." Devin stated.

| Ricky's POV |

I somehow fell asleep on the couch. I'm surprised Chris didn't wake me or move me into the bedroom. He normally does. The cat was asleep on my chest, so I didn't get up. Then I caught Chris talking from the bedroom at a low tone. He was on the phone I guess.

"I can't talk about that out loud. I don't want Ricky to hear me, but yeah, that's a huge part of why I want to go to California. Plus I've just been so stressed over the album and our relationship."

Our relationship? I thought we were doing fine? Who's he talking to?

"I, uh, I'm ready to move on, but I'm scared of what Ricky will say... I know he loves me, it's just, it could go so many ways. Time will tell I guess."

Move on? What?! Does Chris want to break up with me? Is that what he means by move on?

"I can't wait to see you. I miss you."

Who exactly was Chris talking to? Of course I'm worried it was a lover! Who else would he say "I miss you" to? Who would he even be talking to at this hour? And saying those kind of things? I don't want to assume, but I also can't come up with good reasons for everything he said. Chris wouldn't cheat on me, would he?