Bombs & Bullets | Cricky [C]

98 | Humane

| Chris' POV |

The waiting room is the fucking worst place in the world. You're never in a waiting room for a good reason, I swear. Except maybe when a baby is born, but that's about it. This wasn't that though. It was the agonizing process of waiting for answers. I already knew what the doctor was going to tell us, but I wasn't looking forward to the moment he was going to tell us.

Ricky is sick enough. The stress of this is just going to make it even worse. He'd fallen asleep with his head on my arm. He's been so so tired lately. I softly pet his hair to lull him and keep him asleep. We were the only ones that seemed to stay here. Everyone else that came in went pretty fast. Rarely anyone left with good news. Finally, the vet treating Clairea came out.

"Ricky," I whispered to him as the vet approached, "Sweetie, wake up."

He blinked himself awake. Ricky sat up and raked a hand through his hair. His eyes were so dull. The poor thing, I wish there was something I could do for him.

"How is she?" I asked when I realized Ricky was too upset to comprehend words.

"Not well, unfortunately. It seems Clairea is suffering from kidney failure, which is very common in cats her age. There is nothing we can do to help her. I'm so sorry." He said.

Ricky leaned over and covered his face with his hands. I put my hand on his back and tried my best to comfort him, but I know nothing I could do could make this easier for him.

"How much longer does she have?" I asked him.

"That's hard to say. You can take her home if you want and let her pass away naturally in the next few days, but that would be very painful. I suggest putting her down tonight, but it's your choice."

I said nothing, because she was Ricky's cat much more than mine. It was his decision to make. I still knew he'd choose to end her misery. He loves her too much to let her be in pain. Ricky tried his best to lift his head up, but the tears were still streaming down his flushed cheeks.

"I don't want her in pain." He managed to mutter between his shaking breaths.

The vet nodded and gestured towards the back, "Would you like to see her first?"

Ricky nodded. I stood up first, then helped him up. He was too weak for this. My poor baby. I wish so badly there was something I could do for him. Sometimes bad things just happen that are out of our control. That's what makes life so fucking shitty. We were finally doing good. Everything in our life was going fine. But this is us we're talking about. Nothing stays okay for more than a week.

Clairea was laid on a table with an IV in her little arm. You could tell, she was just ready to be done with this all. I stayed behind Ricky as he approached that cold steel table. It was dead quiet aside from his sobs. I'll admit that I had tears falling from my eyes, but I was quick to wipe them away. I had to be the strong one here.

"Do you want to be alone with her?" I asked him.

"Y-Yeah." He murmured.

"Okay, Sweetie." I leaned down and gently kissed Clairea, whispering to her, "You're a good cat, I hope you know that. You were there for Ricky through everything and I can't thank you enough for that. I love you." As I stood up straight, I planted a kiss on the side of Ricky's head, "I'll be out in the hall."

Though I didn't want to leave him, I knew he needed to be by himself. I took a seat outside in the hall as I waited. It's hard to imagine our relationship, our life, without Clairea. She's just always been there. She is a huge part of the fabric of our life. Everything from the good to the bad. I remember all the times Ricky got sick, she was the one to tell me something was wrong. The poor thing even got kidnapped by Jani once.

I can't forget the goods times though too. All the times we fell asleep together, just the three of us. No matter how Ricky and I fell asleep, Clairea would find a way to sleep on top of one or both of us. There would be times she would totally cockblock me, but when I saw that fur face, I couldn't stay mad at her. In the mornings, when Ricky would sing around the house, she would meow along with him. She was always there for him. I don't know how he's going to live without her.

After about fifteen minutes, Ricky came out of that stale room. He fell to the ground beside me and buried his face in my chest. I held him as close as I could and just let him cry.

"Shh," I soothed, "It'll be okay. It's okay. She's in a better place now."

Ricky couldn't get any closer to me if he tried. He was desperate for me to hold him and that's what I did. After about ten minutes and a few looks from passing people, I picked him up and carried him to the car. I set him down it the passenger seat and turned on some music to help calm him down. Then I went back into the clinic to get the cat's body. We have an old oak tree in our backyard that I'll bury her under tomorrow.